Healthy Grieving: Step Three - Day 53

Healthy Grieving: Step Three
Day 53

The third step in the healthy grieving process is so simple, yet so important; it is to feel free to grieve in your own way. Other people may criticize or make comments about your grieving or the amount of time it is taking you. Realize that your grief is unique. If you are honest with yourself, then you don't need to worry about what others are saying.

Heidi, who lost her husband, says, "One thing that really upset me was when some people said, 'You need to get on with your life. You need to get over the grieving process.' I felt they were wrong because they had never been through this. How could they say that?"

You have to go through the grieving process. Turn to God when you are anxious, uncertain, or frustrated about your grief and about what other people are saying.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Father, in my hurt and confusion I come to You. Hold me close and fill me with that indescribable peace. Amen.

~ I feel like Heidi. I have already heard that I need to move on and that I need to let it go. I have also heard that my mom and sister wouldn't want me to be hurting and crying. This may be true, but it isn't that I want to be grieving, just that I haven't gone through it like I need to. I am finding an understanding through the process and I am able to understand my feelings more now that I am working through it. I am sure if they knew the words that come in to my head or knew the anger I was holding before they would have told me I needed therapy. NO, I didn't need therapy, I needed to work through my grief emotions and get it out of my heart and head and go through it. It isn't something to be fixed with a drug because when the drug is gone, it will still be there and it will just be later in life, but I would still have to go through it. Which is why it has been 3 years and I am just now working through it. I was numbed by depression medicine for 2 years. I think my weight loss surgery was more of a blessing than just for my physical health. I think it allowed me to work on my spiritual and emotional health as well. Had it not been for having to get off the medicine for the surgery, I wouldn't have gotten off the medicine period. They weren't working right and they were just tedious to remember to take. I think that it really was just time. Time to begin to live again. Breathe again. Love again.