My Grief Letter

Dear Friends (family),

I know it has been three years now, but my season of grief has really just only begun.  I had not put in the work and allowed myself to start to grieve until the end of last year. The last couple of years have been far more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I am grieving and it will take months and even years to recover from my losses. I now realize that this process of grieving is messy and it lasts a lot longer than I had anticipated. Thank you for being my friend (family) and supporting me during this season of grief.

I wanted to let you know that I will cry from time to time. I don’t apologize for my tears since they are not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. They are God’s gift to me to express the extent of my losses, and they are also a sign that I am recovering. At times you may see me angry for no apparent reason. Sometimes I’m not sure why. All I know is that my emotions are intense because of my grief. The good thing is that I was blessed to find Grief Share and am finally working through the process instead of just letting the emotions fester.

You don’t have to know what to say or even say anything … just a caring glance, a warm hug, or a listening ear speak volumes to my heart. Please don’t wait for me to call, since a lot of the time I feel too tired or don’t want to feel like I am a burden to you. I know I haven’t been in touch with many of you over these last few years and that is my awareness now. I do apologize if I hurt anyone’s feelings during these last three years as I did not mean to neglect you, I was also neglecting myself.

Pray for me that I would come to see meaning in my losses someday and that I would know God’s comfort and love. It does help to let me know that you are praying for me and Justice.

Please know I don’t need fixing … that is God’s job! Your love, patience and prayers will sustain me through this time. God is faithful; He is my sustaining grace.

The loss of my sister and my mom are so painful, and right now it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But I am surviving and will eventually recover. I cling to that knowledge, even though there have been times when I didn’t feel like it. I know that I will not always feel as I do now. Laughter and joy will emerge once again someday.

Thank you for caring about me and my son. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and for praying. Your concern comforts me and is a gift for which I will always be thankful.  Please pray that God will use this time of grieving to grow me and equip me to help others with greater compassion than ever before. 

Blessings,

Amber