Freedom from Bitterness - Day 84

Freedom from Bitterness
Day 84

There is hope. You can be free from bitter thoughts.

"I'd shut my eyes and see gravestones and all sorts of things. I was walking in places in my mind that I wasn't supposed to be walking in," says Cindy, whose daughter died.

Matthew 6:34 tells you to live one day at a time: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."

Cindy continues, "Even now, when I look at the past and get really sad, I think, You know what? Today's a good day. It's raining, but my baby is in bed asleep, and my five-year-old is at school, and today is a good day.

"Then when I look at the future and start thinking about things that could possibly go wrong, I think, You know what? I'm not gonna go there, 'cause God isn't walking with me there. He's told me to stay in today."

Tackle one bitter thought at a time. When bitter thoughts come into your mind, repeat Cindy's words, "I'm not gonna go there, 'cause God isn't walking with me there."

Lord Jesus, with You I can live one moment at a time and work my way toward freedom from my bitter thoughts. Amen.

~It is so very easy to give in to those thoughts that aren't for our highest good. I think we just have to take a step back and really see the blessings in our lives above all else.  In last night's class, there was a question in the workbook. It was talking about where our loved one fit in our lives and when we say that we can't live anymore without that loved one, we are saying that that person defined us. God would never take anything from us that was essential for our survival or we wouldn't be here when we lost a loved one.  It sounded funny to hear that last night, but then it was also said that our loved one is precious to us, but not essential. When put that way, it doesn't take away from the love that we have for the one we lost. It puts the person in the right place. You can breathe without that other person in your life. You can go through the day without the other person in your life. You will be sad and you will cry. You will get angry, but in the end, God didn't take anything essential from your life. Just your most prized possession; your relationship with that loved one. It is in that moment that we have to figure out where God is in our life. I had a false reality. I lost my identity in the motions of everyday and the relationships I had with my mother and sister. I felt lost when I no longer had those relationships to sustain me. It was then that I figured out that I was dependent on those relationships as  a core of who I am and it was all a false identity and reality. Knowing this now doesn't really make it any easier in the aspect of saying it out loud, but I am certainly more aware and able to work through it and find Amber again.