Grief Can Rob You of
Intimacy
Day 170
Men and women view intimacy in different ways, and the loss
of a child or a loved one will affect the intimacy in your marriage.
Shelly, who lost her son, says, “We tried to pull from one
another what we needed to be pulling from the Lord. We realized we had to allow
ourselves to go our separate ways and deal with the grief and let ourselves be
built up from the Source who could really meet that need before we had
something to offer each other. Many say that most marriages don’t make it
through something like this, and it’s nice to be a testimony that a marriage
can make it through.”
God alone can meet your needs. Your spouse cannot be
expected to meet them. Whenever you are in despair because your spouse is not
acting or responding in the way that you think is best, you must be proactive
and not reactive. Hold to the “I must change first” principle: “Lord, my spouse
is driving me crazy. One of us needs to change. I volunteer. Change me.”
When you gain your strength from the true Source, you will
be better able to build a new intimacy with your spouse.
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your
hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God … Put
on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its
Creator … Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves
with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each
other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive
as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds
them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your
hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be
thankful.” (Colossians 3:1, 10, 12-15).
Lord, teach me Your
love. Amen.
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