Children in Grief May Act Out Their Hurt - Day 182

Children in Grief May Act Out Their Hurt
Day 182

Your children may surprise you by the misbehavior they display while grieving. But you need to remember the source of their misbehavior: They feel hurt and do not know what to do with that feeling.

Shelly, whose son passed away, talks about the response of her other son: "He was the passive child between two demanding children. He often didn't express himself and held everything inside.  So it was so out of character for him to rise up with anger and to put holes in the walls and to be so frustrated in the way that he was.

"After seeking God, what I felt in my heart was that it was his survival he was going through. He was dealing with pain so deep, and he was too young to understand that death is a permanent thing. It's something you can't change; you can't go back; there's no way to rectify what has happened. You just have to accept it. That was so hard for him to deal with. It's almost like he came out fighting.

"And when we were able to accept that this was a part of the process that he had to go through and just cover it in love, we removed some of the stressors in his life, and we allowed him that time."

You still have to be the parent, and your children need you to continue to communicate clear boundaries to them. But choose the issues that you want to address. Over everything else give them oceans of love and grace.

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him" (Psalm 103:13).

Lord, show me how to be there for my child. Show me how to remove the stressors in his or her life, and open the flow of love and understanding between us. Amen.