Special Days Trigger Grief - Day 30

Special Days Trigger Grief
Day 30

Special days -- anniversaries, holidays, birthdays -- can act as emotional land mines. The emotions you feel on those days can be as intense or even more intense than the emotions you felt at first.

Dr. Tim Clinton observes, "Too many people are unaware or under aware of the normal grieving process. For example ... anniversary dates, birthdays, holidays and things like that can evoke a lot of anger. When this happens, people feel like there's something wrong with them or they're not very strong."

These feelings are normal. Knowing this, prepare yourself ahead of time for those special days. Read the Bible to draw strength and comfort from it. Plan a quiet day with close friends or family members who will surround you with love. Remember, when you are discouraged and at a low point relating to your loss, the only remedy is to look to the Father.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you" (Psalm 42:5-6).

Lord, I look to You when I am struck down again by grief. I will depend on You, and I will praise You; for though I am struck down, I am not destroyed. Amen.


~I just went through this last week with the anniversary of the death of my sister. I was so anxious leading up to it and then on the day, I was cool as a cucumber. I think I just built it up to be more than it was. I knew what I wanted to accomplish on that day and I made sure that I didn't just lay in the bed all day and be miserable or sorrowful. I spent the morning at the cemetery planting flowers and greenery and then the afternoon with a friend for lunch. I finished up my day at the gym with a new trainer. So, the day was a success in that I honored the memory of my sister and the day she left his earth, but I also took the time to do for my soul and my body. It was important that I didn't just be sad on that day and didn't just cry all day. It is sad that she isn't here. There isn't one day that goes by that I don't wish she was still here and I don't miss her voice. I miss her laugh and her sense of humor. I can barely still hear her voice in my head and that makes me sad because I miss that. Mostly, I am just so glad that as I am progressing that I am able to have these days and make it through them without them overwhelming me.
This was my first year being off depression medicine and dealing with the loss anniversary. I have my mother's death anniversary in April, but that too will be a day that I take to do good things. I will make sure that I honor her memory and keep moving forward.