Rock Bottom - Day 23

Rock Bottom
Day 23

Your visitors have left and gone home. The house is quiet. The adrenaline that you've been living on has stopped.

According to Dr. E. V. Hill, "Initially, you can expect great strength to do what you have to do. But then you can expect great sorrow. It will start coming in when the phones are no longer ringing and the people are no longer visiting.

"Then you can expect the visit of the devil. He is a booger. He knows when to come and what to say to make you feel even worse."

When your emotions have hit rock bottom, there is only one path to travel, and that is the path to God.

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you, I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you" (Isaiah 46:4).

Lord, in my weakness and the failing of my limbs, lift me into the palm of Your everlasting hand. You alone are my strength and my champion. Amen.

~ I hit this rock bottom a long time ago.  The phone stopped ringing and people stopped coming over after I moved. It suddenly was like they were afraid to ask me how I was doing or how Justice was doing. It was as if it was Pandora's box and there was fear of what things might come out of my mouth.  I have never felt as alone as when my friends and family stopped coming around and stopped calling. My cousin made me and my mom some meals when my sister died. No one made me meals when my mom died. No one was there to take care of me and Justice and Ashley. We had to fend for ourselves. We were in this house and there was no one else there.  My world was upside down and I couldn't call my sister and talk to her about my mom because she too was gone. I couldn't go into the other room and have my mom rub my head and make me feel better like she used to when I was sick and I would tell her to rub my head. She would scratch my scalp and just pat my hair. It was so warm and calming the sensation of my momma rubbing my hair. I do that for Justice now. It is a bond that we have and it was a bond that me and my momma had towards the end of her life. No matter how old you get, you will always at someone point want your momma.
I am glad that the path to travel has brought me to God and to my season of grief. I don't know that I would be in the same place I am if it weren't for finding my way back to some sense of church. My soul has missed it.