Doubting Your Faith - Day 12

Doubting Your Faith
Day 12

"I was mad. I felt like the Lord was not there. I had prayed to hear from Him, and I didn't. It seemed as if He wasn't answering my prayers," says Phyllis, who lost her sister. "Emotionally and spiritually I expected something different. I knew that He was there, but I wasn't feeling emotionally like I wanted to feel."

You are not alone, and you are not wrong to have doubts.

David said in the Psalms, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?" (22:1).

Job had similar feelings: "Remember, O God, that my life is but a breath; my eyes will never see happiness again" (7:7). Job thought he would "never see happiness again," but when we read the end of the book of Job, we find that God had something very good in store for him.

God is faithful to do what He says He will do regardless of how you feel or what you believe.

Lord, I'm going to walk this journey by faith because what I feel and see sure isn't helping. Amen.

~ I can so relate to this. I have questioned many times. I have prayed and only hear silence in return. I think that when we are grasping for answers or expect something instantaneous that we find ourselves in doubt because things get done in divine time not our timing.  It is definitely a hard pill to swallow and I hear the words that are coming from my heart and head right now, and just am in awe of the answers that come to me. I have been searching outside myself for answers and it seems that the answers were within me (well some of them anyway) and I just needed to have an outlet and the questions to bring those answers out of me. Thank God for the guidance and the want to write on here. I have been living with my emotions, thoughts, cares, concerns and doubts in my head and heart for so long that when I am writing it seems as if I am emptying the load off my shoulders and I feel a calm come over me. This is truly a blessing.
As far as doubting my faith, I think we all do to a certain degree when we are faced with the loss of a loved one. The loved one can even be our pet. My dog was my baby and when I had to put her to sleep when she was 9 years old, it was heart breaking and I didn't know if I could handle it. I certainly did and it was preparation for losses to come.  While a pet certainly isn't a human, my Sophie was and will forever be my baby girl.
I am glad to read that "God is faithful to do what He says He will do regardless of how you feel or what you believe".  This gives me a sense of hope since there have been times that I feel like I might have turned my back on God in my anger. I have admitted that I was angry with God for a while. It took me acknowledging it in order for me to see it for what it was and then be able to grow from that point.