Grief Lasts Longer Than Expected - Day 4

Grief Lasts Longer Than Expected
Day 4

Grief's unexpected turns will throw you again and again. You may feel that for every step forward, you take at least one step back. The grieving process generally takes longer than you ever imagined.

Please don't rush this process. Remember, what you are feeling is not only normal; it is necessary.

"It's been seven years, and I'm still going through it," says Dr. Larry Crabb, whose brother died in a plane crash. "I don't know if it's a very holy thing to admit, but when someone says, 'Well, it's been a week, a month, a year -- Larry, for you it's been seven years. Get a grip. Where's your faith in Christ, for goodness' sake?' I get really angry.

"Knowing the Lord and His comfort does not take away the ache; instead, it supports you in the middle of the ache. Until I get home to heaven, there's going to be an ache that won't quit. The grieving process for me is not so much a matter of getting rid of the pain, but not being controlled by the pain."

We read in the Psalms that David grew weary with the process of grief and cried out to the Lord. Then he left the timing in God's hands.

"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love" (Psalm 6:2-4).

"I am weary with my sighing; Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears. My eye has wasted away with grief (Psalm 6:6-7 NASB).

Heavenly God, I cannot even begin to put my grief in a time frame. Thank you that I don't have to. Comfort me and support me as I lean on You. Amen.

~I am so thankful that this day's email told me that I need not rush the process. That this was normal and mostly necessary. I feel like every time that I feel like I worked through something, I fall back. It was then that someone said something to me at a class. They said "you need to try and separate the losses and grieve them individually." It felt funny that someone would say that, but then it made sense. I was bouncing from my sister's death to my role in my mother's departure. It was overwhelming me and I wasn't able to move forward because I was reliving the deaths over and over because I was taking them both on and the same time. I think that I tend to put it off until I reach an emotional damn braking moment. It is then that I find that I am on edge and full of rage and then I get upset that I am so angry and then realize that the anger is really part of the grief process. Anger is my foe. Now that I have acknowledged that anger plays a giant role in my grieving process, I am able to see it for what it is and not dwell in it. I am finding ways to work through it or divert that anger energy into something different. Mostly, I am a work in progress. I am prayerful.