Communicating in Grief – Day 342

Communicating in Grief

Day 342

Although you have experienced grief, you may be hesitant to approach others who are bereaved. Not knowing what to say, you may tend to avoid them. There is no “right” thing to say. It is just your heart of concern and love that you need to express. Be genuine.

These suggestions will help you interact with grieving people:

• Remain calm and nonjudgemental.
• Use direct and specific language (naming times, places, and names) to help them reorient from the “blur” of grief events.
• Mention the deceased by name.
• Do not say that you know how they feel. Each loss is unique.
• Do not tell them how good they look to avoid talking about how bad they feel.
• Encourage them to talk about life as it existed before their loss.
• Show your humanity.
• Do not be afraid to gently touch them.
• Let them cry and express their emotions.
• Be willing to listen, especially in the evening.
• If they want to talk about their loss, do not change the subject to a lighter topic.
• Take your conversation cues from them. Silence is okay.
• Make several short visits.
• Visit during the weeks after the funeral when others get back to normal life, but the deeply grieving person cannot.
• Let them make plans.
• Minister to the whole family, but do not let them “attach” to you in an unhealthy manner.

“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22).

Holy God, give me the words to say and help this person know I am sincere. Amen. 

Lessons You Have Learned – Day 341

Lessons You Have Learned

Day 341

Keep your grief in perspective by remembering these truths you have learned:

• Other people have experienced grief.
• Your feelings are as unique as you are.
• You can use the lessons you learn in grief to help others.
• People in grief do not need sermons or lectures.
• In grief, people often must tell their stories over and over.

Your pain and sorrows can become the bridge to reach out and to minister to others, bringing healing to both you and them.

“Comfort, comfort my people, says your God” (Isaiah 40:1).

God of my comfort, help me to keep my grief in perspective and to use it to help others. Amen. 

Practical Help – Day 340

Practical Help

Day 340

Don’t underestimate the value of giving practical help. But be observant. The kind of help needed will vary from one person to another.

Barbara Johnson shares, “I wished people would have just come and told me they loved me and that God loved me, and then helped me feed the dog, take care of the house, dump the garbage, do some things like that. Doing practical things for me would have been good because so many things they said were causing turmoil for me rather than comfort. So I learned that the words should be few and that it is better to do practical things to help the family. Bring some casseroles; feed the children; do the laundry.”

If you could use practical help, ask for it. People want to help and usually find it easier to help with a specific task or responsibility.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).

Receive help with open arms and an appreciative outlook. Offer help with the same caring attitude.

Lord God, even when I’m not sure how another person will respond to my overtures, give me the courage to find a practical way to help and to just do it! Amen.

Having a Grief Night – Day 339

Having a Grief Night

Day 339

There is great strength in community, the coming together in Christ and building up of one another to love and good deeds.  And there are times when a person needs community more than ever. Dr. Larry Crabb shares how his Sunday school class has responded to this need by implementing a practice called a grief night.

“We’re there basically to pour something of the reality of Christ into one who is bereaved,” says Dr. Crabb.

Here are the steps to holding a grief night for a person who is grieving:

1. Plan a time to meet together as a group.
2. To being the grief night, light a candle to symbolize the one who is not there.
3. Have others ask the grieving person random questions about the loved one who has died to get to know the deceased individual better. “What do you miss the most about your loved one?” “What places or smells bring back special memories?” Also ask tough questions such as, “Did your lost loved one make financial and other preparations for those they would leave behind?” Let the person talk.
4. After about an hour of questions, tears, sharing, take time to respond to the grieving person. This is not a time for platitudes and advice, but for a pouring out of love and connectedness from one heart to another.
5. Next is prayer time. Have the grieving person sit in the center of the group, and people who want to can lay their hands on the bereaved person. Then come before God in worship and in pleading and petition for the bereaved.
6. Last is song time. Sing favorites of the one who died or of the one who is grieving.

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25).

Loving Father, healing is possible in the community of believers. Lead me to meet together regularly with other people who believe in You. Amen.

Helping Another Person In Grief – Day 338

Helping Another Person In Grief

Day 338

Not everyone reacts to loss the same. Some may pursue help. Others may avoid it. That can be a sign they are not doing well. You may need to gently and tactfully go after them.

You might be tempted to day, ‘Oh, someone else will help him. I hardly know him anyway.” Or you might think, She really doesn’t want my help.

In grief, the rules have changed. Step in and help. Worrying about discomfort or embarrassment is not relevant in grief. People need other people to intervene regardless of societal conventions.

“He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene” (Isaiah 59:16).

Lord, I need to get over my uncertainty about how to help others or whether to help. Help me to step out in faith and gently bring comfort to another person in grief. Amen.

Words of Comfort – Day 337

Words of Comfort

Day 337

When sharing with someone else who is grieving, words often fail you. Do talk. That person needs to hear from you, but let your words be few and specific.

Emy, who lost her husband, advises, “People shouldn’t say, ‘How are you?’ They should ask about a specific area: ‘Is your health better?’ or ‘Are you getting out more?’, something like that rather than making an open-ended question.”

Don’t just offer empty words of encouragement. Find out what is really going on in another person’s life, and keep track of how he or she is progressing through the struggle. Comforting another person with the love of Christ is necessary for your own healing as you being to better understand the strength and peace found in a life lived for Jesus.

“For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows” (2 Corinthians 1:5).

Holy Jesus, may my words be few, but focused and sincere, as I seek to comfort another grieving person with Your love. Amen.

Give Permission to Grieve – Day 336

Give Permission to Grieve

Day 336

An important ministry you have to other people is to validate their individual losses. You will not tend to trivialize their losses by giving quick, easy answers. Rather, you know it is better to stand alongside them and feel what they are going through. By doing this, you give them permission to grieve.

Dr. Robert Jeffress states, “Christians need to be given permission to grieve. They do not need to feel like they’ve fallen if they are grieving. They need to be reminded that what they are experiencing is normal.

“I believe the Bible, the Word of God is alive; it’s active; it’s sharper than any two-edged sword. But grieving people do not need to be bombarded with Bible verses. I think sometimes the best thing to do for grieving Christians is just to be there, to be silent, and when the time is right, to share a truth that might help them.”

You have suffered and are still suffering. Many people around you are suffering as well. Sometimes it is hard to notice because in today’s culture, hiding true feelings is common and often expected. The Bible tells you to share in your sufferings. It also says to share in your comfort.

“Our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:7).

Lord God, someone around me needs to grieve. He or she may be holding it back and suffering even more because of that. I want to help that person understand it is okay and necessary to grieve. Amen.

Everyone Has a Ministry – Day 335

Everyone Has a Ministry

Day 335

The Bible often compares the church to the human body with many members and many parts. Each part is needed for the body to function properly. In the church there are many members, and each one has something important to give.

“From him [Jesus] the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work” (Ephesians 4:16).

The church is called the body of Christ. There is a definite, life-giving connection between everyone in the church body. Life flows form one person to another and back again.

“Somebody who has experienced the comfort of God knows that he or she has something to pour,” says Dr. Larry Crabb. “I love the word pour. It’s a metaphor that doesn’t feel clinical; it feels alive. There’s something within the person who has been comforted that can actually pour into the other and bathe his or her soul.”

Lord Jesus Christ, I am part of Your body. Help me pour Your comfort into another person who needs it. Amen.

The Courage to Listen – Day 334

The Courage to Listen

Day 334

Dr. Larry Crabb describes this scenario: “You’re sitting next to somebody in church or maybe in a small-group setting. It’s coffee break time and the person obviously is distressed. Your initial inclination is ‘Let me see if I can’t go have coffee with somebody else, because if I stay with this person who is hurting, I won’t know what to do. Let me go chat with some buddies and some friends where I feel adequate.’”

He continues, “We tend to underestimate the profound power of listening.  We think of that as anemic: ‘Well, at least I listed, but what good does that do?’ I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned as a friend or as a husband or as a counselor is this: It isn’t what I know or my competence that makes the difference; it’s when I find the courage to be there in the presence of God, that’s where the difference is found.”

Be courageous; do not stay where you feel comfortable and safe. Take a chance for someone else today and listen. Listen to God urging you forward and listen attentively to someone who is hurting. When a person sees that you are truly listening, that person feels valued. This validation brings deep healing.

“He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame” (Proverbs 18:13).

God, I feel very inadequate sometimes. Teach me that with You in my life, I am complete, and my presence is needed to help others who are hurting. Amen. 

Be Available to Help Others – Day 333

Be Available to Help Others

Day 333

Elisabeth Elliot says, “My advice would certainly be quit thinking about yourself. Don’t look around the room and wonder why nobody wants to pay attention to you, thinking about yourself, Are the people not remembering that I’m a widow?

“Forget all that and look for someone who looks a little lonely and go and try to encourage that person. Isaiah 58:10 has been a great watchword for me: If you pour yourself out for the hungry, then the Lord is going to satisfy your needs and you will become like a watered garden.”

You may think you have nothing to offer right now. But, remember, when people are in the midst of a deep struggle, they need someone who cares, someone who will just be with them.

“If you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail” (Isaiah 58:10-11).

Lord, today I will change my focus from myself to others. I am going to look for someone who needs encouragement or company. Amen. 

Your Sorrows Can Help Others – Day 332

Your Sorrows Can Help Others

Day 332

God comforts you in your sorrows if you allow Him to. You, in turn, are to comfort others.

“One of the advantages of going through pain,” says Dee Brestin, “is that one day you will be able to comfort others who have been where we are. God is stretching you right now, and it’s very painful, but I do think that one day you will be able to comfort someone else.”

You first have to allow God to comfort you. Be open to receiving His comfort. Then you will be supplied and ready to give that same comfort to another person. You will not have to drum up the energy to do this or feel that it is a chore. You will be so full of God’s comfort that passing it on will come naturally, supernaturally.

“All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Father God, I accept Your comfort. I open my arms to You right now and stand secure in Your loving embrace. May my heart be so full of Your comfort that it pours out on others I meet today. Amen.

Share the Blessing – Day 331

Share the Blessing

Day 331

After the death of Sylvia’s parents, she began to take more notice of people who had lost a loved one.

She says, “I had not paid that much attention to them before. When another woman in our church lost a father, I could feel the pain she was going through when she sang in the choir on Father’s Day. Right after church when she came down, I went up to her and said, ‘I know exactly how you feel.’ She said, ‘You will never know how much this means to me.’ Through noticing and watching people who are undergoing that grief, you can be a big help.”

Your compassion and empathy can bring healing to another person in grief. Be willing to give and to share.

“Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints” (Philemon 1:7).

Father, let me be Your instrument of love and healing to others. Amen. 

You Are Not the Same– Day 330

You Are Not the Same

Day 330

“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (Acts 20:35).

You have probably been the recipient of much help throughout your time of grief. That is a great blessing. But think about Jesus’ words: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Now it’s your turn to be the giver.

“Look around and find someone else who’s hurting,” says Linda, whose baby died, “and minister to that person, whether it’s just a card or a phone call. It seems like when you reach out to someone else, your grief begins to heal and it doesn’t seem as overwhelming to you. You can see beyond it.”

Lord Jesus, it sure is hard to see beyond myself. What can I do to reach out to another person in love today? Amen.

You Are Not the Same - Day 329

You Are Not the Same
Day 329

You are not the same person you were before. Too much has changed within and without. Do not try to fall back into the same patterns because you will only struggle to fit into a lifestyle that no longer fits. In order to live this new life, you must first identify the areas of your life that you struggle with, and then take steps to learn how to move forward in those areas. For instance, you might find yourself in new situations that you are not comfortable in without your loved one, or you might have new responsibilities that you do not know how to fulfill because your loved one used to take care of them for you.

Here is where you need to grow. God will provide what you need to experience true growth. Pray for wisdom as you develop new patterns of living.

Gretchen says, "My husband could talk to anybody about anything for any length of time, and I just always let him do it. I wasn't a big talker, but the Lord gave me some of that talking ability after he died. And I've been grateful for that because I was very happy in just letting my husband carry the conversation with people. Now, every time I got to something that I really wished I didn't have to go to, I just call on the Lord. The Lord is so faithful. Every single time I get through it and wind up enjoying it."

By God's grace you can be changed. You do not have to try and be the person you were before, because that is not possible. Instead ...

"Put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" (Colossians 3:10).

Lord, even though I don't necessarily want to change, I know that I must. Give me confidence and wisdom in the areas that I struggle with. Amen. 

Develop New Relationships – Day 328

Develop New Relationships

Day 328

“We were just so close to so many couples, but once [my husband] died, the invitations weren’t there. That really hurt,” says Gretchen. “I just prayed to the Lord, ‘Well, Lord, I just need new friends.’

“I have been very blessed that He has given me a number of good widow ladies that I have been able to do things with and share with. Some of them are much older than me, and they don’t drive in the daytime. Some of them are walkers, and they can’t drive. I feel that I can be real helpful in doing things for them and carrying them places and having a luncheon and that sort of thing. God has really been good.”

For Gretchen, it wasn’t about hurt feelings and self-pity. She chose to reach out to new people, and she knew she had love to give because of God’s love for her. She spoke to God frankly: “I just need new friends.” And God was faithful in answering.

“We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother” (1 John 4:19-21).

Father God, when I don’t fit in as I once did, it hurts me. Give me a positive outlook and hear my prayer: “Lord, I just need new friends.” Amen.  

Called to Love – Day 327

Called to Love

Day 327

You have the opportunity to demonstrate the kind of love that God calls you to in His Word. As you do this, your healing will be accelerated.

“What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.” (James 2:14-18).

Act on your beliefs. What specific things can you do to help someone in need? If you do not know of someone in need, ask God to bring a name to your mind. Then be brave and call that person and offer your help. Persist until you have something specific to do. You can also call your pastor or church leader and ask for suggestions of people who might need your help.

Lord, I want to do something. I want to take action and not just think about taking action. Spur me on. Amen. 

Give a Hug – Day 326

Give a Hug

Day 326

Sometimes a hug is all that is needed.

Jeffrey, who lost his son, says, “The first Sunday we went back to church after this happened, one of the ladies walked in, and we did not know her at all. She walked over, and she saw our name tags. She just grabbed both of us and hugged us and started crying. And she didn’t speak a word.

“That meant more to us just to know that she had a heart, and she had compassion. She didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t say anything. But she was willing to let her emotion show and just embrace us.”

Christians are carriers of God’s power. A simple, heartfelt hug provides a release of that holy, healing power. Always look for the opportunity to spread God’s goodness daily and in a variety of ways.

One of the teachers of the law came to them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord our God with all your heart and with all your souls and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:28-31).

Lord God, may Your healing power be released in me as I take the opportunity to love. Amen.

Take the First Step – Day 325

Take the First Step

Day 325

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1:27).

Others will want to show their love for you during grief, but will often not know how to do that.

Wendy and Jeffrey lost their infant son. Wendy says, “We both felt like everybody in the entire world was trying to avoid us. They didn’t want to ask us how we were doing because they were scared that we might actually tell them! They wouldn’t know what to say, or they just didn’t want to talk to us at all because they knew we were probably very sad people. So that might rub off on them.

“I wish I had counted the number of cards we received because that’s a very easy thing to do. But as far as phone calls? We have very good friends, and it wasn’t that they didn’t care; it was just that they didn’t know what to say. So they didn’t call.”

If you are in need of a phone call or a listening ear, you may need to take the first step. Or, if you need to offer someone else a listening ear, pick up the phone and call. The Bible instructs people to look after one another and to stay true to His Word.

Father, I’m on both ends of this. I need people to help and encourage me, and, at the same time, I want to be there for those who need my support. Amen. 

Stay Involved in Others’ Lives - Day 324

Stay Involved in Others’ Lives

Day 324

“When you listen to somebody and he or she shares what’s really happening, the pat answers don’t work, and you don’t know what to say,” says Dr. Larry Crabb. “But it’s at that point when you don’t know what to say that if you back away, you lose the opportunity to touch. In your inadequacy can you stay involved?”

Don’t back away because you are afraid of getting involved in another person’s sorrows and problems. No one is wholly adequate, but everyone has a choice: (1) stay involved and truly show love and help or (2) back away, afraid of making things worse.

Take the risk, and God will provide the strength.

“Serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13).

Great Lord, yes, with You I really can be strong. Amen. 

Be Involved in Others’ Lives – Day 323

Be Involved in Others’ Lives

Day 323

Involvement requires investment. Getting involved in other people’s lives is not easy. You have to choose to take the time and show love to others. It will not always come naturally.

“You need to find the courage to get deeply involved in other people’s lives and experience the mess and frustration, the sense of impotence, the sense of not knowing what to do,” says Dr. Larry Crabb.

You may be thinking, I have my own problems. I don’t have the time. I don’t have the energy. I don’t have anything to offer.

Excuses!

Step out of your comfort zone and do something great for God. People need you, and it’s up to you to find out who they are and what you can do to help.

“If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing right” (James 2:8).

Holy God, I want to do right. Even when my energy and courage are failing, push me forward to help and love another person who needs me. Amen.

Lend Me Your Faith – Day 322

Lend Me Your Faith

Day 322

“Faith is what carries you through,” says Dr. H. Norman Wright. “It is vital. But the problem is, during an intense loss or trauma or crisis sometimes you wonder, ‘Where is my faith? Where is my hope?’ And that’s when you need somebody else to walk alongside you and say ‘Let me lend you my faith and my hope until your own comes back again.’”

A strong Christian friend will be invaluable on your grief journey. This friend will listen, be available, and uphold you in prayer. He or she will spur you on to a deeper relationship with Christ.

“I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong – that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith” (Romans 1: 11-12).

Your friend, in turn, will grow and be blessed by the almighty God who greatly rewards those who follow His commands.

Lord, show me who this strong Christian friend is. You have provided people to walk alongside me and to lift me up when I stumble. I do not want to miss out on this blessing. Thank you, Great Provider. Amen. 

You Need Others – Day 321

You Need Others

Day 321

How many people are praying for you regularly? You need other people, and you especially need their prayers.

Barbara Johnson says, “Right when you’re down in the middle of the pain and you’re going through this, that’s when you have to say, ‘Hey, I’m a Christian, but I’m really hurting. I need you to pray for me, and I need you to love me because right now I’m not effective as a Christian. I just can’t be bubbling out about how joyful I am. I will in time, but right now I need you to comfort me and I need God’s love to comfort me.’”

When you first lost your loved one, you likely had several people praying for you and your family. But what about now? What about now when the grief is still deep and everyone seems to expect you to have bounced back into life?

Call a friend who will quietly listen and who will pray. Be sure to ask people for their prayers. They might not think to offer if the topic is not brought up!

“I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers” (Philemon 1:4).

Comfort me with Your love, O Lord. Thank You for the prayers that are being said for me. Amen. 

A New Family – Day 320

A New Family

Day 320

When you become part of a church, you become part of a family, God’s family. Believers of Jesus Christ will rally together in love and support for those in need.

“I don’t think we would have made it through without family support, without the church family,” says Betty, whose daughter-in-law died. “Here it is fifteen months later, and our church family is still supporting us. The Sunday school class brought in meals for three months. The women came in and helped me with the children.

“I literally quit my job and moved in with my son to look after the children. Those two o’clock feedings for a grandma are not easy. The women would come in from nine to three to help me so that I could catch up with my sleep and keep up. The meals kept coming in.”

If you did not receive this kind of support from your church, let your pastor or a church leader know your needs. The church body cannot help if they are not aware of your needs. This is not the time to say you have everything under control, because you don’t.

Let yourself be ministered to by your church family, and you, in turn, can provide help for someone else at a different time.

“Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers” (Galatians 6:10).

Savior God, my church family is such a blessing to me. Free me to accept their help with sincere appreciation. Amen. 

The Door Is Open – Day 319

The Door Is Open

Day 319

The church is very important to God. It is His representative upon the earth. What people think about God is often influenced by what they think about the church. The doors of the church are always open to hurting people.

“You have all that support,” says Luevenia, whose husband died. “Church people are ready and willing to rally around you. That’s part of being a Christian in a church. I think it’s just worth everything. People aren’t flawless, but you can really rest in the assurance that they are good people in every sense of the word.”

Have you walked through those open doors?

“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord” (James 5:13-14).

Father God, give me the courage to seek help in the church. Also, I pray that my own doors are open for anyone who needs my help. Amen. 

Help Is Through the Church – Day 318

Help Is Through the Church

Day 318

Open your mind to the idea that help can be given through people in a church.

“If you’re not a Christian, give it a try,” suggest Jan Northington. “Come to church. Find out who this God is and what Jesus can be for you. I think it’s a place where you’ll find warmth, understanding, and encouragement, even if you are a little undecided as to whether you want to make this kind of commitment. Church is a place to start, and it’s a place to find love and acceptance and help. That’s what you need right now.”

The church has valuable spiritual and emotional resources, beyond what you might realize. Give your local body of believers a chance to help you.

“After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and care for it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:29).

Christ Jesus, You are the head of the church, and by Your example the people in the church love and care for those in their community. I would like to get to know these people. Amen. 

Emotional Intensive Care – Day 317

Emotional Intensive Care

Day 317

You may feel that emotionally you need critical care. Seek help from a Christian church. The church is a place that welcomes hurting people. Remember, no church congregation is perfect. You may have been let down by the church recently or in the past. Yes, the church is filled with imperfect people, but the church is also filled with people who are trying to love more deeply and trying to live the kind of life that God has called them to.

“It’s just like your emotions are going into intensive care. What can you do?” says Sylvia of the loss of her parents.

Let yourself be loved.

“The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14).

Lord, I want to be loved. I need to be loved. Amen. 

God’s Spiritual Hospital – Day 316

God’s Spiritual Hospital

Day 316

“I view church as a hospital,” says Dr. H. Norman Wright. “Invite the people in who are struggling, who are hurting.”

The church is not just a place for whole and healthy people to attend. When you are hurting and in need, the church is the community where you can find help. Whether you need immediate treatment or long-term care, God has designed the church to minister to your needs.

Dr. Larry Crabb says, “In the field of the soul there are no professional surgeons; there are only caring Christians. I think that’s a critical thing for us to realize.”

People in the church will enable you, through their love, to move forward on your journey. They may not know the exact words to say, and their timing will not always be right, but be assured that they love you because they love the Lord.

“Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God” (3 John 1: 5-6).

Lord God, it is time for me to visit your hospital – the church. Guide me to a church that will welcome me with open arms, and give me the courage to speak up and not hide in the back. Amen. 

It’s Your Move – Day 315

It’s Your Move

Day 315

It’s hard to take responsibility when so many areas of your life seem out of control. But if you can’t manage your life, how can you be answerable for it? It is true that you cannot control what emotions you will feel or how certain events come to pass, but you need to be responsible for how you handle your own circumstances.

As Dr. Norman Peart says, “God is in control. He has not left the scene. He has not left the control panels, and He is going to work it all out for His glory. At the same time, that means that there are some responsibilities we have.”

Part of moving on is to figure out where your responsibilities lie. The biblical answer to this question is to start right where you are. What were your areas of service and responsibility before you lost your loved one? You don’t need to jump into them all at once, but they will be your beginning point.

“Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to” (1 Corinthians 7:24).

Lord, show me where you have called me to serve. Help me to begin so I can take responsibility and move on. Amen. 

Adding Variety to Your Life – Day 314

Adding Variety to Your Life

Day 314

Don’t just use one resource for recovery – use several. We have mentioned a number of tools to aid in your grief recovery: a journal, sharing, humor, pets, diet, exercise, the Bible. These tools require work and effort, and they will all help you in some respect. Incorporating a variety of resources will keep you from getting in a rut that would otherwise inhibit your progress toward healing.

Dr. Jim Conway explains it this way: “The process of adjusting to grief is the process of working through these things by talking to people. You also need the music dimension. You need to be spending time in the Scriptures, especially the Psalms and the Proverbs, letting God reach in there and massage your heart.

“You need to spend time praying and reading your Bible. It’s important to have that quiet reflection with God. You also need to think through your diet. Don’t just eat junk food; force yourself to eat a balanced diet. Additionally, physical exercise drops off, so work at the whole physical component. Also, think about getting into other kinds of groups. If you’re only in grief groups, you’re only hanging out with grieving people. Join a standard Bible study group with people who are not grieving, but don’t get into singles groups; you’re not ready for that yet.”

Think about what has worked well for you on your healing journey. What new tools can you try out?

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3: 16-17).

One thing is clear, Lord: I’ve got to do something!

Branch Out – Day 313

Branch Out

Day 313

If your life has been monopolized up until this point with grief and other grieving people, it is time to branch out. Get involved in a group that includes a variety of people with a similar interest (people who are not grieving).

“I had no neighbors to visit me except a young girl across the street,” says Gretchen, “and she kept saying, ‘You need to belong to the garden club. You just stay in all the time.’ She’d wait about six months, and she’d catch me at the mailbox, and she’d say, ‘You still don’t want to join the garden club?’ I’d say, ‘No, I can’t.’ She said, ‘Well, I’m just going to put your name on the list anyway.’ And I said, ‘If it ever comes up, I probably won’t be able to go on account of my husband’s illness.’ She said, ‘We’ll see about that.’

“Well, my husband died the sixteenth of August, and my name came up in September to join the neighborhood garden club. That was just the hand of the Lord. It was a way for me to get out and start meeting my neighbors.”

In whatever group you choose to be involved in, you will be an asset. If you think your presence does not benefit the group in any way, you are wrong. God made each person to be an important part of the whole.

“The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’ On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensible” (1 Corinthians 12:21-22).

Lord, where do You need me? Amen.

Making New Memories – Day 312

Making New Memories

Day 312

As you move forward on your journey, you create new memories each day. Enjoy the good memories of the past, but be aware of the new memories that occur daily.

What special activity or event do you have planned for today or this weekend? Whom will you invite to join you? Make a new, happy memory.

Job suffered great tragedy in his life, but as time went on, the Lord gave Job new opportunities to form happy memories. The Bible says, “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters (Job 42: 12-13).

Lord, renew my mind as I walk with You today. Amen. 

Remembering Good Memories – Day 311

Remembering Good Memories

Day 311

Flashbacks and reruns of disturbing memories can be exhausting. For those in grief, the memories can hit you unexpectedly. Time will fad the bad memories, but be sure to make a conscious effort to remember the good.

“I would see him in my mind when he was really sick,” says Sue following her husband’s death, “but that fades. People told me that would fade. Now I see him praying in church, which is good. At first I had a lot of the negative flashbacks, but over time I saw the good things.”

Reminisce good memories about your loved one with someone else. You may want to write down those memories. Above all, enjoy the good memories and gain strength from them.

“You were wearied by all your ways, but you would not say, ‘It is hopeless.’ You found renewal of your strength, and so you did not faint” (Isaiah 57:10).

Lord, renew my strength and refresh my mind with peaceful, happy memories. Amen. 

Helping Others – Day 310

Helping Others

Day 310

Helping other people eases your pain and gives you the chance to turn your grief into something good.

“I was asked to come in and counsel this mother and daughter. The daughter was dying of a tumor, just as my daughter had died,” says Dora. “At first, they were hesitant to approach me. They weren’t sure if I could handle facing the pain and the grief again.

“When I was asked, I jumped at the opportunity because I thought, This is a good chance for me to turn my daughter’s death into something really good and something that I could help other people with. That proved to be very, very helpful for me in my recovery process.”

Everyone in this world needs some kind of help, and someone needs you today.

“Each helps the other and says to his brother, ‘Be strong!’” (Isaiah 41:6).

God, when I don’t feel strong, help me to remember that my strength is in You. Show me someone in need today. Amen. 

Your Diet – Day 309

Your Diet

Day 309

What you eat affects your day more than you may realize. A balanced diet increases your energy, strength, concentration, and your ability to ward off illnesses. It also makes you feel better about yourself, because your diet affects your thoughts and your emotions.

“You need to think through your diet,” suggests Dr. Jim Conway, whose wife died. “Typically, people going through grief eat very poorly. During the early days of my grieving, I would open up a can and eat out of it, while standing at the kitchen counter!”

A balanced diet is not only an important tool in healing from grief, but it is also a way to glorify God. It honors God when you take care of your body, His creation.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Glorious God, eating healthy is hard enough to do when I’m not grieving. Maybe now is a good time to change my ways. Please help me in this. Amen. 

Exercise Brings Healing - Day 308

Exercise Brings Healing

Day 308

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well” (3 John 1:2).

You have probably not paid too much attention to your exercise habits (or lack thereof!). Regular exercise is an important part of your healing. Exercise contributes not only to your physical wellness, but also to your mental and spiritual health.

Choose an exercise that you are likely to stick with. Keep in mind that it is good for you to get out of the house. You might enjoy walking, swimming, dancing, or basketball. Find out what sports activities are available in your community.

“I’ve gone into an exercise program,” says Kay, whose brother died, “and I feel much better. I walk every day, three miles a day. I walk early in the morning, right at daylight. It gives me time to think and time to pray.”

God has entrusted you with your body to care for it.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” (1 Corinthians 6:19).

Holy Spirit, exercising regularly seems like an impossible feat sometimes. Help me to start an exercise plan and remain faithful to it. Amen.

Choose a Productive Activity - Day 307

Choose a Productive Activity
Day 307

"You don't really care about anything," says Sue, who lost her husband. "Nothing has any meaning to you. But I would suggest that you get involved in something to help other people, a soup kitchen, or something you can do without a lot of thought."

Replace your indifferent, negative outlook with something good and productive. The Bible verse below explains that you are not only to cease your wrong behavior, but you are to replace it with an activity that helps other people.

"He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need" (Ephesians 4:28).

Loving Father, it's time for me to step away from my thoughts and problems and do something for someone else. Guide me today to take an active step toward this. Amen. 

Making Music unto God - Day 306

Making Music unto God
Day 306

Every person walks to the rhythm of different tunes. The music of your life can be a source of praise to God.

"It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O most High" (Psalm 92:1).

You may be a singer, a hummer, an instrumentalist, a dancer, or an avid listener. God made you musically unique.

"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp" (Psalm 149:3).

"Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him" (Psalm 33:1).

Put on some praise music or take an early-morning walk and sing with the birds! Do this again and again and experience healing through music.

"Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs" (Psalm 100:2).

Lord, I sing my own song to You today. I will sing to You when I rise up in the morning, as I go about my day, and when I retire at night Jesus, keep this song in my heart and change my life. Amen. 

Praise Breaks the Bonds - Day 305

Praise Breaks the Bonds
Day 305

According to Dr. Bill Bright, "Praise is a way of being liberated from the bondage of grief. God inhabits the praise of His people. Surround yourself with praise music. Invite your friends to come and praise God with you, and praise Him even with your tears, even if your heart is not in tune with what your lips are saying at first. It will not be long until your heart will catch up with praise.

"Many, many times during heartache and sorrow, I have praised God with tears streaming down my cheeks because I know that God is a God of love."

The Bible says that God dwells in the praises of His people. He lives among praises and is continually surrounded by them. What an incredible way to abide with the Holy God.

"But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel" (Psalm 22:3 KJV).

Holy, holy God, I praise Your name. You are worthy to be revered above all things. I praise Your name. Amen. 

A Sacrifice of Praise - Day 304

A Sacrifice of Praise
Day 304

Praise is a tremendous resource that brings healing. The Bible says again and again to praise God. That means to worship, honor, and thank Him. Even when you do not feel like praising God, do it because you believe in the power of praise.

"You offer God praise when it hurts," says Joni Eareckson Tada, "and it costs you something. It costs your logic; it costs your pride. God then is so much more highly honored because He knows that you deem Him so, having offered such a sacrifice."

Hebrews 13:15 tells you to offer the "sacrifice of praise" to God with lips that thankfully acknowledge, confess, and proclaim the glory of His name. Your healing is intertwined in this daily praise.

"Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name" (Hebrews 13:15 NKJV).

Holy God, You are worthy of my praise. I honor and life up Your name, and I thank you for Your daily goodness. Amen. 

Where Does Your Help Come From? - Day 303

Where Does Your Help Come From?
Day 303

"The Scripture that the Lord gave to me was Psalm 121: ' I looked to the hills from whence cometh my strength.' And that was my encouragement, and it was just a day-by-day matter of looking to the Lord and asking Him for what I needed," says Phyllis of her sister's death.

Phyllis actively lived out this psalm. She did not read it and walk away from it-she made it a part of her daily life. Choose a psalm that is special to you and live it!

Psalm 121 is a wonderful psalm to memorize and act on. This psalm expresses assurance in God's unfailing presence, protection, and help:

I will life up my eyes to the hills-From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore. (NKJV)

Amen.

Joy Comes in the Morning - Day 302

Joy Comes in the Morning
Day 302

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5 NKJV).

God's promises in the Bible are for you. Choose to embrace them and live them out in faith. Beth, who lost both her husband and her mother within a year, read God's promise in Psalm 30:5 (above). Not only did she find comfort in this verse, but she also acted on it in faith.

She says, "I had a difficult time in the mornings waking up, facing the day; it's sort of that 'what do you have to life for?' feeling. So, particularly special to me was that verse about joy coming in the morning. Every morning I'd say, 'Lord, what day is my joy coming? What day is my joy coming?'

"Finally I woke up one morning, and my joy had returned. That doesn't mean that I was find from then on. It doesn't mean I didn't cry and break down and so forth. But there was that peace and that joy that had been missing for those months. It was just wonderful to have that back again."

Lord, I believe Your promises. May my actions be a reflection of my beliefs. Amen. 

Healing Through the Psalms - Day 301

Healing Through the Psalms
Day 301

The book of Psalms provides great comfort for those who are suffering in pain.

"Certainly when someone has lost a husband, wife, a very dear friend, or perhaps a child, there is an awesome gaping hole of loneliness," says Dr. Ray Pritchard. "One of the best things I know to do is to open to the book of Psalms and to read those great psalms where David, with those same feelings, is crying out to God."

Let words of Scripture be your prayers to God. Choose a psalm to pray each day. Here are a few to get you started: Psalm 5, 23, 31, 40, 57, 61, 69, 86.

"I wait patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord" (Psalm 40:1-3).

O God, I trust in you. You are my refuge, my rock, and my daily help. Amen. 

Discipline Yourself - Day 300

Discipline Yourself
Day 300

You may have to force yourself to concentrate on God's words and instructions.

"He's the physician. This is the medicine. You take it," says Kay Arthur.

Disciplining yourself to read the Bible daily is not easy when your emotions are interfering with your thoughts. The Bible addresses this struggle:

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair -- every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul" (Proverbs 2:1-10).

My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. Above all elese, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:20-23).

Grant me discipline, Lord God. Amen. 

The Bible: Understand It - Day 299

The Bible: Understand It
Day 299

"The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple" (Psalm 119:130).

When you approach God's Word with a grieving, desperate spirit, you are more open to listen to what God is saying to you through the Bible. It is an amazing experience when you come to the point where you feel you can't survive another moment without God's Word, when God's Word becomes your lifeline and your necessary focus. Then you will understand the power of God's Word, and you will understand the strength of surrendering.

Dr. Norman Peart says, "During a time of grief and difficulty, spending time in God's Word is really more significant; it's at a higher level because you are more open to what He is saying and what you may not have heard before. You are in a situation where every word means something; every word could be life or death in just how you feel."

Lord, Your word has penetrated my darkness. I want a better vision of who You are. I have been blind for so long. Draw me to the light of understanding. Amen. 

The Bible: Meditate on It - Day 298

The Bible: Meditate on It
Day 298

What does it mean to meditate on Scripture?

"The word meditation in Scripture is literally the word for a cow chewing its cud. That's actually a pretty good metaphor. Read the Scripture passage a first time. Then read it a second time. Read it a third time. Like many people during grief, you are being bombarded by so many different emotions, thoughts, relative coming, and things to do that your attention span gets shriveled. Take the time to meditate on Scripture," says Dr. John Trent.

Reflect on God's Word. Examine it. Question it. Remember it. Always pray.

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful" (Joshua 1:8).

"But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night" (Psalm 1:2).

Lord God, may Your Word be my delight as I "chew" on it daily. Amen. 

The Bible: Read It - Day 297

The Bible: Read It 
Day 297

No matter how difficult it is for you to concentrate, no matter how busy your schedule, no matter what emotion you are feeling -- discipline yourself to read the Bible daily.

Kay Arthur says, "Many times it's very hard for people who are grieving to read the Word because the pain is so great, because they cannot concentrate, because their thoughts keep running back to their pain or to the situation or to the wound, and it's hard to focus."

God's Word brings healing, growth, and life. By reading His Word daily, you will be prepared to face anything the day may bring. You will be victorious in all areas-physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual-through Christ.

"He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions" (Psalm 107:20).

 I need You, Lord Jesus. I need Your Word. Deliver me from myself. Amen. 

The Bible: Useful in All Situations - Day 296

The Bible: Useful in All Situations
Day 296

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

All Scripture is helpful and relevant to your life. But the Bible is more than a good self-help book; it is a treasure trove of godly principles and truths that can radically change your life for the better.

"I know there are a lot of books, and people gave me a lot of books, but I think the best book is God's Word," says Bruce, a widower.

Heavenly God, when I open Your Word, open my heart to understand what You are saying to me. Show me the value of a biblical lifestyle, a life rooted in You. Amen. 

The Bible: God's Inerrant Word - Day 295

The Bible: God's Inerrant Word
Day 295

"All the thousands of books in my library and the libraries of the world combined cannot even begin to compare with this holy, inspired, inerrant Word of God," said Dr. Bill Bright.

God's Word is holy and perfect, relevant and true. If you only believe parts of the Bible, you are limiting your view of God. God is revealed throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament. We encourage you to take a step of faith to receive the whole Bible as true. You may still have many questions about it, but God will answer those as you go along.

God's words in the Bible are a reflection of His nature. To show His matchless power, God used many different men to write the Bible while at the same time making sure that every word written was exactly what He wanted. So although many men were involved with the writing of the Bible, the Bible shows a wonderful unity of God's plans and purposes for life.

"But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one's own interpretation, for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God" (2 Peter 1:20-21 NASB).

Sovereign Lord, You are immeasurable. I will never fully grasp and understand Your great love for me, but I earnestly seek to learn more about You in Your word. Amen. 

Prayer is Vital - Day 294

Prayer is Vital
Day 294

The moment you surrender your life to Christ, the Holy Spirit comes upon you and lives in you to guide you and intercede for you. When you do not know what to say to God, when words completely fail you, the Holy Spirit is always there speaking for you.

Dr. Norman Peart says, "It's somewhat like in a wartime scene where there are those who are right on the edge of the battle with the walkie-talkies, communing back with the base and saying exactly what was needed on the front. In that period of time, I believe the Holy Spirit is doing more than most people give Him credit for or realize."

Through the power of the Holy Spirit you can do more than just exist from day to day. You can live life at a higher level than the world has to offer. Listen to His Spirit today. Believe that His awesome presence is filling you. Trust that He knows what you need better than you do.

"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the heart knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God" (Romans 8:26-27).

Holy Spirit, I do not know the words to pray. Intercede on my behalf because You know exactly what I need. I bow down before you  now with a listening heart. I want to experience the fullness of Your Spirit within me. I want to live Your way. Amen. 

Powerful Prayer - Day 293

Powerful Prayer
Day 293

Prayer is powerful. Never underestimate what prayer can accomplish. James 5:16 says that the "prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." Come confidently before God with your prayers, knowing that He can answer above and beyond what you ask (Ephesians 3:20-21).

Melissa shares one of the many times God answered her prayers after her husband died: "One evening I came home, and I didn't have any food. I had a little pack of soup in my pantry. That was it. I just prayed to the Lord and I said, 'Well, Lord, You know I'm glad to have this.' But being pregnant, I needed to eat more nutritionally. Also, I had only two maternity dresses, and I had started working and wanted to look nice. I just cried out to Him. He knew exactly what I needed. I was just sitting there praying, and as I was praying, a UPS truck drove up to my house and brought me a package. And in this package were ten brand-new maternity outfits, fifteen pairs of stockings, and cash so I could go to the grocery store."

As a Christian, you are doing yourself a great disservice by not tapping into the power available to you through God's Holy Spirit within you.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18).

So many times I don't trust in You, Lord. So many times I "logically" conclude that I might as well despair because my prayer could not possibly be answered. Forgive me. Your Spirit is life to those who believe. Amen. 

Get a Pet - Day 292

Get a Pet
Day 292

Statistics show that people who have a pet to care for live longer and have fewer health problems. Get a pet. It will become a new area of emotional investment.

"I came home to two schnauzers," says Bruce, whose wife died, "and they have been really good. They've been a lot of work, but I hope that they're learning as much as I am. We're good friends now, and they've helped through the loneliness. They give me something other than pictures and things to talk to. I tell them about my wife."

If you haven't visited a pet store lately, you might be surprised at the variety of animals you can have as pets. Perhaps you aren't a dog or cat person; consider having a rabbit, a lizard, a hamster, or a fish. A pet provides companionship and someone to talk to. (Pets are excellent listeners.) Pick a pet that fits your lifestyle because pets are a responsibility-, but are usually worth the effort!

You might also consider visiting your local animal shelter or dog pound. They are always looking for loving homes for their animals.

Pets are not specifically mentioned in the Bible, but it does say, "A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal" (Proverbs 12:10).

You may already have a pet. If not, would you pray the following prayer?

Lord, please help me find an animal to take care of. Amen. 

Directing Your Thoughts - Day 291

Directing Your Thoughts
Day 291

Memories can be a blessing, but they can also have the opposite effect. When you remember your loved one, what dominates your thoughts -- good, wholesome, loving memories? Or things you would rather not remember at all?

"Scripture tells you to direct your focus and attention to those things that are pure, right, and true," says Jim Grassi. "It doesn't say focus your attention, all your anxiety, and all your worry on all the things that are bad."

With God's help, turn your thoughts around. This may be a daily, moment-by-moment battle if negative thinking has been a pattern for you.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Lord, I am prepared to take my negative thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ -- beginning now! Amen.

Enjoy God's Creation - Day 290

Enjoy God's Creation
Day 290

Open your eyes today to the gift of God's creation. Make a point to look up and notice and savor what you see.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world" (Psalm 19:1-4).

The beauty of creation is crying out daily for you to see and to worship the Creator in response. Live life on a different level today -- a higher level.

Elisabeth Elliot says, "It's our human nature to fret and stew and try everything in the world to satisfy ourselves, but that is never going to be the answer. I myself have found tremendous comfort and joy in observing God's creation."

Creator God, what treasures and beauties do You have in store for me today? What new wonder is just waiting to be seen? Amen.

Maintain Humor - Day 289

Maintain Humor
Day 289

Barbara Johnson says it is good to keep your sense of humor during this time of grief; in fact, keeping a sense of humor is one of the healthiest things you can do: "Oh, I think that's very important. You see, one laugh equals three spoons of oat bran. And one laugh will burn six calories. And one laugh is like jogging on the inside. I think God intended us to laugh.

"Job 8:21 says, 'He will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.' So laughter is very important. Many people don't have a sense of humor, and they suffer longer and harder than those that can have a little laugh bubble out."

Lord of all, bring something humorous in my path today. Teach me to relax inside and let "a little laugh bubble out." Amen.

Grief Support Group - Day 288

Grief Support Group
Day 288

We encourage you to join a biblically based grief recovery support group to aid in your healing. It does not matter how long ago your loss occurred; grief support groups are for people at all stages of the grieving process.*

"It's in the sharing and the group's caring for each other that the healing is accomplished," says Dr. Jim Conway.

Healing is a mending together for the purpose of making something whole again. Your heart, mind, body can become whole and in excellent working condition again through Jesus. But healing does not mean there will be no scars. It means that you were once broken, but through time and effort you are being made whole again.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).

Jesus, it's hard to imagine I will ever be healed. Help me to remember that healing is not forgetting, but it is remembering with love and tenderness and joy. Amen. 

*GriefShare groups are meeting throughout the United States, Canada, and several other countries. Here is how you can find out more about these groups: Search the database at http://www.griefshare.org and find the location of the nearest GriefShare group by zip code, area code, or city. Or email your zip code to info@griefshare.org to receive a list of the groups nearest you. You can also call 1-800-395-5755 or 919-562-2112.

Share with a Friend - Day 287

Share with a Friend
Day 287

Pray for God to bring you a friend you can talk with about your loss. Let your friend know what you need from him or her. You might prefer writing your friend a letter that expresses your feelings, your needs, and your thankfulness for the friendship.

Sylvia, who lost her parents, had a close friend who helped her through grief: "He was just a friend that I could go to and talk to and know that he understood; that was the main thing, just having somebody to listen to me."

Never underestimate the comforting power of friendship.

"You have comforted me by speaking so kindly to me" (Ruth 2:13).

Provider God, I pray that I keep up my friendships with those who are true to me, even when I don't feel like making the effort. Amen. 

Keep a Journal - Day 286

Keep a Journal
Day 286

"Give ear to my words, O LORD, Consider my groaning" (Psalm 5:1).

A journal is not written for anyone but you, so you do not need to worry about the grammar, how it looks, or what you write. A journal allows you to express your deepest feelings and, over a period of time, to see the progress of your healing.

"The journal is so useful for me because I can look back and say, I really made it through this," says Dora, whose daughter died.

"I just wrote down random thoughts as I was sitting by her bedside. I wrote, 'She's so weak; it seems she will never progress off the ventilator. I miss her. I really miss her. I miss my girls, my husband, my life. The anger is so great. I woke up this morning at three a.m. with a pain in my body, in my heart, a pain I just could not turn off, an angry pain, a shouting pain, a pain that would not keep quiet. Lord, help me, please. Help my daughter. Help her to live. I want her to live a normal, happy life. I'm tired. Please, dear God, help my little girl.'"

Over two years after her daughter's death, Dora continued her journal:

My daughter taught me to love. It's a simple word that has a vast meaning. Love can mean compassion, uncensored and true, living in the moment. Love can be unconditional and unprotected and vulnerable, which is a scary place to be, a place most of us choose not to be. But my daughter taught me it is this place of love that holds the meaning of life for us here. The reason we're put here is to receive those precious gifts of love from the Lord all around us. At times we lose those gifts just to remind us that we're not here to place judgment, hold bad feelings, get lost in our own needs, but to extend or surpass our own boundaries and give love. For in the end, that's all we have.

O Lord God, I need to do this. Every day I need to write down whatever comes to my mind, whatever I am thinking about or feeling. I release these thoughts to You. Help me to grow and to love. Amen. 

Grief Recovery Tool Kit - Day 285

Grief Recovery Tool Kit 
Day 285

During a crisis, it is important to have the proper tools and equipment at your disposal. For the next few weeks, you will be introduced to several "tools" that will help you make it through grief and reconstruct your life. Pick the resources that best suit you.

In the Bible, David made the decision to seek God and rebuild his life after his son died (2 Samual 12). Dr. Norman Peart comments on David's decision: "David could not waste the rest of his life focusing upon the wrong, the hurt that was there. He instead had to build upon that life because at some point he was going to see the God he was aiming for."

The time has come to rebuild your life.

"They will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them. They will plant vineyards and drink their wine; they will make gardens and eat their fruit" (Amos 9:14).

Lord, what am I aiming for? I think aimless would be describe me sometimes. But I am willing to try these grief tools and rebuild my life one day at a time as I focus on You. Amen. 

Learning Helps Bring Healing - Day 284

Learning Helps Bring Healing
Day 284

"Take every counsel, every word that has come to your heart in the deep place where you are, because it is in that place that you surrender," says Shelly, who lost a son. "It is that place where your will is broken. It is that place where the veil is lifted, and all of a sudden you see what you need to see, and the instruction will come into your heart.

"So embrace it and hold on to it until you can see the image that God wants you to change into while you are in that deep place. Then look forward to the mountaintop again. There was a time when I couldn't have said that, but I can say that now."

Jesus instructs you to learn from Him and follow His teachings: "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matthew 11:29).

It is through a life dedicated to Jesus Christ that you will find healing for your grieving soul. At the deepest place of despair, God is there. He wants you to look at Him and learn more about Him through Bible study, prayer, church, and through a mature Christian mentor.

Lord Jesus, open my heart to Your instruction. Give me the strength and the will to get deeper into Your Bible and to be committed to a Bible study group. Amen. 

Learning Through Grief - Day 283

Learning Through Grief
Day 283

"Adults generally change through a significant emotional event. What more significant emotional event is there than the loss of a loved one?" says Dr. John Trent.

When logic doesn't seem to apply and being in control is not an option, you are left feeling vulnerable. This is the point at which you are ready to learn. Recognize the need to learn more about God in order to live.

"He learned obedience from what he suffered" (Hebrews 5:8).

Father God, I am ready to listen and learn from You. Help me to be still before You in worshipful silence. Amen. 

Embracing the Change in Your Life - Day 282

Embracing the Change in Your Life
Day 282

Grief will either make you a better person or it will cause you to harden your heart as you resist its lessons. you have the opportunity for unparalleled spiritual growth. this will not happen quickly, but you can grow deeply. By learning that life is a precious gift, you can do more than just exist; you can live on a higher plane.

It was when Isaiah's friend died that he had a deeper experience of God.

"In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings; With two wings they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: 'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory'" (Isaiah 6:1-3).

Lord, I want to live above all the garbage that goes on in my mind. I want to grow spiritually and discover You live never before. Amen. 

What Next? - Day 281

What Next? 
Day 281

"The most exciting thing that ever happened to me -- the greatest decision I've made in my life -- was to turn over my life to Jesus Christ and have a new life and be told that God has a plan for my life," says Chandra.

If you have surrendered your life to Christ, you are a new creation. You have entered into a new relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. This is the first step on an exciting spiritual journey.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17).

When your old habits and patterns of thinking try to come back -- and they will try -- immediately turn them over to God and choose instead to do something pleasing to Him. It is helpful to have a plan in place. Find a Christian friend whom you can call at any hour of the day for encouragement and prayer. Be involved in a regular Bible study and keep up with the study. Help others in the church and community through volunteer work.

Jesus, I am a new creation! The decision to follow You is life changing, and that's what I want and need. Lead me to new activities and relationships that honor You. Amen. 

Entering Heaven: The Four Rs - Day 280

Entering Heaven: The Four Rs
Day 280

Dr. Richard Bewes uses four Rs to explain how to get to heaven.

1. Recognize who is knocking on the door of your heart. That person is Christ!
2. Repent and acknowledge that you have been wrong. Do a mental U-turn.
3. Reflect on who [Jesus] is coming into your life. He has died for the forgiveness of your sins. He will be Lord of your life, and this will demand changes.
4. Receive Him, as His Spirit enters your life. It's as simple as saying, "Come in, Lord Jesus."

Come to the Lord with a sincere heart. "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at ... the Lord looks at the heart" (Samuel 16:7).

Lord Jesus, I know that You stand at the door of every person's heart. Come in, please. Forgive me for the wrongs I have done. I want You to be Lord of my life. Amen. 

The Road to Heaven - Day 279

The Road to Heaven 
Day 279

Do you know how to get to heaven?

The Bible clearly states there is only one way to get to heaven: "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me'" (John 14:6).

A person cannot enter heaven through good deeds and moral behavior. You cannot enter heaven by attending church or by having Christian parents: "This [is] not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Eternal life is a free gift from God, but it is only given to those people who believe in and surrender control of their lives to Jesus.

"He who believes in the Son [Jesus] has eternal life" (John 3:36 NASB).

Lord, I want to make sure that I'm going to heaven. And I want to live each day with the knowledge of my eternal destination. Thank you, God. Amen. 

Grow Closer To God - Day 278

Grow Closer To God
Day 278

In moments of grief you always have the choice of how you are going to respond. Dr. Ray Pritchard describes Job's response to his intense losses and tragedies: "The Bible says that when he had lost everything, he bowed his face before the Lord, and he worshiped.

"When you face those moments when the entire world has turned against you, you have a choice. You can either turn away from the Lord and walk away from the only hope that you have, or you can fall on your face before the Lord and say, 'Oh God, have mercy. Oh God, I do not understand, but I do believe that You are the eternal God, and I commit my soul to You.'

"If you let your grief lead you back to God, in the end your soul will be purified, and you will come into an experience of God greater, deeper, and closer than you have ever known before."

Job chose to worship God and in the end was blessed abundantly.

"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.' Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God" (Job 1-20-22 NASB).

God, You are powerful and living and real. Have mercy on me; I do not understand why I am going through this. Bless me, Lord, I want to experience You deeper and closer than ever before. Amen. 

Eternal Perspective - Day 277

Eternal Perspective
Day 277

When you begin to see heaven as your true home, you can develop an eternal perspective that sees all sorrows passing.

"It is possible to trust God in all things," says Dr. Joseph Stowell. "You may have a heard time getting there, but you won't get there unless you believe in the world to come. If this is all you have, if it's just this world, then bitterness is your only option.

"But if you believe that there is a God who is higher than you are and wiser than you are, and He has a world prepared for you where all Christians will be together again and be with Him in absolute joy and bliss, then that brings strength to your sorrow."

Place your trust in God and in His preparations and plans for you.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am" (John 14:1-3).

Lord and Savior, I trust that You will someday bring me home to live in heaven with You. For now, I need to try and look at my sorrows in light of eternity. The things of this world are much clearer when I have a higher perspective. Amen. 

Your Home Is Not Here - Day 276

Your Home Is Not Here
Day 276

Faith not only empowers you to get through your difficulties, but it also assures you of a coming day when tears and sorrows are no more. Faith recognizes that this world is not your ultimate home.

"There's a longing in my soul that requires me to look up, requires me to say, 'This isn't all there is,' because it isn't enough," says Dr. Larry Crabb.  "When I am hurting, others come up with formulas and the procedures to do this and this and this and then I will be fine. My answer is this: I'll never be fine until I'm home."

What does the word home typically mean to you? Know that you were created for a different home, a better home, an eternal home with God. This life here is not all there is.

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heave, not built by human hands" (2 Corinthians 5:1).

Heavenly Father, may I fix my eyes on You and not get dragged down by the struggles within me and around me. Please give me a taste of what is to come so I can make it through. Amen. 

The God of Hope - Day 275

The God of Hope
Day 275

One of the consistent testimonies in Scripture is that faith can grow strong during the darkest times of adversity. It is during those darkest moments that you come to know personally that your Lord is the God of hope.

"One thing about being in grief is that your sorrow is certain, and your loss is so real you literally taste it to the depth of your being," says Dr. Joseph Stowell. "You have to have a certainty that is bigger than the certainty of your sorrow.

"That is why you must train yourself in biblical hope where you are absolutely convinced that God is and that He has a world to come for you and that on the other side everything will be okay. That certainty has to be bigger than the certainty of your sorrows."

Ideally, this biblical training should come before times of adversity, so you can be at least somewhat prepared to face it. But if you are not absolutely sure that God is everything He says He is, then tell Him your doubts and confusion. Study the Bible to learn more about Him. We suggest that you being reading the book of John or Mark.

If you are sure that Christ Jesus is your only secure hope for life, and life after death, then praise His name, and seek to know Him more fully.

"Praise be to the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade-kept in heaven for you" (1 Peter 1:3-4).

Jesus, I am certain to the depth of my being that You are the living God and that everything will be okay through You. Amen. 

Rejoice in Suffering? - Day 274

Rejoice in Suffering?
Day 274

In the Bible the apostle Paul says that you should rejoice in your suffering. This advice sounds incredible, especially when you are in the midst of pain.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because god has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 5:3-5).

After looking closer at Paul's words, you will realize that he is not saying to be glad about what happened, not at all! He tells you that you are to use your suffering as a time of personal growth in which you ultimately experience an outpouring of God's love into your heart.

Dr. Ray Pritchard says, "Christians who most deeply experience the love of God are those who have not fought against God at the point of their suffering, but they've said, 'Lord, I don't understand. God, this doesn't make any sense. I wish this would go away, but, Lord, I'm going to cooperate with You. I'm going to walk with You through this.'

"Through that, God gives them perseverance; He develops character; character becomes hope, and in the end, their hearts are soft, and then they experience the love of God."

Lord, I'm not happy with this, but I will make the best of it. Pour out Your Spirit on me, and give me perseverance, character, and hope. Lord, I sure need hope. Amen.