Forward, Backward - Day 108

Forward, Backward 
Day 108

Do not be discouraged if it feels as though you are going backward at times -- sometimes forward, sometimes backward. That is the natural process of grief.

If you are bringing your hurts and fears to God, if you desire to move forward toward healing, if you are learning about the grieving process and trying to apply some things you have learned, then you are making progress, even when you do not feel you are.

Dora, whose daughter passed away, says, "Sometimes you think, Last week I could cope wit hthis, and this week I can't, and then you'll think, I'm not getting any better. I'm not making any progress. Then you'll take a big leap forward. There's no timeline."

You, too, will take that big leap forward as times goes on. For now, concentrate on the small victories over the pain -- fewer tears, a smile, helping another person, reading and understanding a Bible passage, replacing a negative thought with a positive thought, forgiving a wrong.

"We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need" (Colossians 1:11 NLT).

Father God, when I get discouraged because it feels like I'm going backward and not forward, help me to stop trying so hard and allow You to be my support and strength. Amen.

~ I was just feeling this way last night. I felt like I had made progress and was in forward motion and then another crisis in the family and BAM I am back to what feels like square one. But, when I got to thinking about all that I have accomplished and the fact that I got through my Mother's Day without being overly sad or depressed and I actually was living and enjoyed my time with my son and my aunt then I realized that I have grown by leaps and bounds. I felt a little guilt that I didn't cry as much as I thought I would/should/could have. It was like a double edged sword. I was sad that my cousin and her sons died, but then someone wrote that at least Joy was in heaven with her sons on Mother's day and that they all got to be with the Lord. That put a smile on my face. Plus my momma, sister, uncle Rick and Popo were there to greet them.  Uncle Rick being their grandfather, I bet that was an awesome reception.