Making Decisions
Day 127
With the death of a spouse, you are suddenly faced with a myriad of decisions you must make on your own, and these decisions bombard you right alongside your tangled, unpredictable, and overwhelming emotions.
"I had never bought a car in my life!" says Gretchen. "He just all of a sudden one day would come in with a new car. We didn't particularly talk about it. He knew and I knew when the time came that he would depreciate them out, and then I would get that car, and he would get a new one."
Decisions can range from what to serve the children for breakfast to how to buy a car. These decisions come daily, and they cannot be ignored. Take heart; God will give you the strength and the wisdom to make the right choices. you can trust that He is helping you even when you are not aware of it.
"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD" (Proverbs 16:33).
God, I must tackle these decisions one at a time. Hear my prayers for each decision and answer them -- one at a time. Amen.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Companionship is Gone - Day 126
Companionship is Gone
Day 126
Picture yourself at the dinner table laughing with your spouse. Picture your spouse in his or her favorite room or chair. Picture your spouse hugging you while you cry.
"The greatest loss is the company of that person, having him there," says Nancy, who lost her husband. "He had a favorite chair. You look over at that chair, and he is no longer in that chair. He was always there to lift me up if something was wrong."
Now picture yourself at the dinner table dining with Jesus. Picture yourself in your favorite room or chair with Jesus close by your side. Lastly, picture Jesus enfolding you in His arms, covering you completely with the sleeves of His robe and just pouring out His love into your whole being.
Be filled with His great love today.
"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might love through him.... And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives n love lives in God, and God in him." (1 John 4:9, 16).
Lord Jesus, today I will crawl into Your arms of love and just rest. Amen.
Day 126
Picture yourself at the dinner table laughing with your spouse. Picture your spouse in his or her favorite room or chair. Picture your spouse hugging you while you cry.
"The greatest loss is the company of that person, having him there," says Nancy, who lost her husband. "He had a favorite chair. You look over at that chair, and he is no longer in that chair. He was always there to lift me up if something was wrong."
Now picture yourself at the dinner table dining with Jesus. Picture yourself in your favorite room or chair with Jesus close by your side. Lastly, picture Jesus enfolding you in His arms, covering you completely with the sleeves of His robe and just pouring out His love into your whole being.
Be filled with His great love today.
"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might love through him.... And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives n love lives in God, and God in him." (1 John 4:9, 16).
Lord Jesus, today I will crawl into Your arms of love and just rest. Amen.
When Loneliness Hits - Day 125
When Loneliness Hits
Day 125
When does loneliness hit you the hardest?
"Getting into bed at night -- it was the biggest, loneliest bed. So far I have not been able to pull the covers down on that side," Luevenia says following her husband's death.
JoAnn answers: "When you're used to having a partner and going out together and doing stuff together, it's difficult when all of a sudden you don't have anybody."
Nell, also widowed, says, "At night, especially when I would come to church, there were times I didn't want to go back home. It would just make me nervous to think about going back home and being by myself."
Do not fear or try to avoid those situations where loneliness creeps in and seems unbearable. Face the loneliness with Jesus at your side and know that this is a time of deep loneliness; feel the loneliness and do not try to block it out. Express your emotions and then keep walking with Jesus.
"I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life" (Proverbs 4:11-13).
Jesus, guide me in wisdom. Walk with me in my path of loneliness and bring me safely through. Amen.
~ I have totally been there done that with this. I have moments of time when I get so in my own head that I start making stuff up. Creating a problem that wasn't there to begin with and then growing that seed of deceit in my own head. I have learned along the way though, that even in my darkest of hours, I have my son and I have God and that is about all I need. I can lean on others, but with my God and my son and myself .. we got this!
Day 125
When does loneliness hit you the hardest?
"Getting into bed at night -- it was the biggest, loneliest bed. So far I have not been able to pull the covers down on that side," Luevenia says following her husband's death.
JoAnn answers: "When you're used to having a partner and going out together and doing stuff together, it's difficult when all of a sudden you don't have anybody."
Nell, also widowed, says, "At night, especially when I would come to church, there were times I didn't want to go back home. It would just make me nervous to think about going back home and being by myself."
Do not fear or try to avoid those situations where loneliness creeps in and seems unbearable. Face the loneliness with Jesus at your side and know that this is a time of deep loneliness; feel the loneliness and do not try to block it out. Express your emotions and then keep walking with Jesus.
"I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life" (Proverbs 4:11-13).
Jesus, guide me in wisdom. Walk with me in my path of loneliness and bring me safely through. Amen.
~ I have totally been there done that with this. I have moments of time when I get so in my own head that I start making stuff up. Creating a problem that wasn't there to begin with and then growing that seed of deceit in my own head. I have learned along the way though, that even in my darkest of hours, I have my son and I have God and that is about all I need. I can lean on others, but with my God and my son and myself .. we got this!
Feeling Alone - Day 124
Feeling Alone
Day 124
Along with all your other pain, the sense of being totally alone can press in on you. You are facing life alone now, and you may feel more acutely than ever the loss of the deep and intimate connection you shared with your spouse.
Dr. Ray Pritchard says, "There's a tremendous difference between being along and being lonely. When you're alone, you simply have no other people around, but you feel no particular loss. You are lonely when other people may be around, but you feel that there is no one around to connect with you at a deep personal level.
"Be completely honest about your loneliness. It is not a sin to feel lonely. I just think you shouldn't stay that way. Be honest with God, and then pick up the phone and call a friend; call a pastor; call someone in your church. Don't sit by yourself feeling as if you are completely helpless. I know how hard it is to pick up the phone, but how much worse it is to stay that way for days and weeks and months and feel as if no one cares."
Though you may feel friendless and forsaken, the Lord is always with you. He will be your refuge, and He will give you the strength to carry on if you just ask Him.
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1 NASB).
Heavenly Father, You are a constant presence on this journey. Amen.
~ I found that this is so true. I didn't want to bother other people. I once reached out and then suddenly I was told "Amber it has been ___ and it is time to move on" that is the WORSE thing anyone who isn't grieving can tell you. It is that statement right there that makes you not want to ask for help. Not to pick up the phone and call someone. It is ONE person telling you the ONE thing that shouldn't be told to a grieving person and it sets us back. I felt like saying "she was your niece and she was your sister .. how do you not grieve?" I can't say that my way is the right way or his way was the right way, but I know that I have learned that hurt people hurt people. If I have learned nothing else from going to class and reading my emails... HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE!
Day 124
Along with all your other pain, the sense of being totally alone can press in on you. You are facing life alone now, and you may feel more acutely than ever the loss of the deep and intimate connection you shared with your spouse.
Dr. Ray Pritchard says, "There's a tremendous difference between being along and being lonely. When you're alone, you simply have no other people around, but you feel no particular loss. You are lonely when other people may be around, but you feel that there is no one around to connect with you at a deep personal level.
"Be completely honest about your loneliness. It is not a sin to feel lonely. I just think you shouldn't stay that way. Be honest with God, and then pick up the phone and call a friend; call a pastor; call someone in your church. Don't sit by yourself feeling as if you are completely helpless. I know how hard it is to pick up the phone, but how much worse it is to stay that way for days and weeks and months and feel as if no one cares."
Though you may feel friendless and forsaken, the Lord is always with you. He will be your refuge, and He will give you the strength to carry on if you just ask Him.
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1 NASB).
Heavenly Father, You are a constant presence on this journey. Amen.
~ I found that this is so true. I didn't want to bother other people. I once reached out and then suddenly I was told "Amber it has been ___ and it is time to move on" that is the WORSE thing anyone who isn't grieving can tell you. It is that statement right there that makes you not want to ask for help. Not to pick up the phone and call someone. It is ONE person telling you the ONE thing that shouldn't be told to a grieving person and it sets us back. I felt like saying "she was your niece and she was your sister .. how do you not grieve?" I can't say that my way is the right way or his way was the right way, but I know that I have learned that hurt people hurt people. If I have learned nothing else from going to class and reading my emails... HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE!
No Longer a Couple - Day 123
No Longer a Couple
Day 123
Many things in society today are couple orientated, and you are probably very conscious of and disturbed by the fact that you are no longer part of a couple.
"Socially, you feel like an outcast. You go into a group you used to be part of as a couple, and all of a sudden you feel so alone," says Rev. John Coulombe.
This feeling of loneliness and the consciousness that you are not part of a couple may cause you to avoid going into group situations where most of the other people are couples. God disagrees with the idea that three's a crowd. He reveals in His Word that great strength is available when three people come together.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Matthew 18:20 says, "For where two or there come together in my name, there am I with them."
Give your friends a chance, and don't think you are no longer welcome because your spouse is not with you. Let God give you the courage to go into situations in which you may feel awkward or unwanted.
Powerful God, I've been prejudging my friends and assuming they don't really want me around. My relationships with friends are different now, but different does not mean less loving or caring. Clear my vision to see how these relationships can become fuller and deeper because of You. Amen.
~ I felt like I wasn't wanted around friends and family because they might have to strike up a conversation and who wants to be the one to say the dreaded "and how are you doing" because that is like a loaded question.
Day 123
Many things in society today are couple orientated, and you are probably very conscious of and disturbed by the fact that you are no longer part of a couple.
"Socially, you feel like an outcast. You go into a group you used to be part of as a couple, and all of a sudden you feel so alone," says Rev. John Coulombe.
This feeling of loneliness and the consciousness that you are not part of a couple may cause you to avoid going into group situations where most of the other people are couples. God disagrees with the idea that three's a crowd. He reveals in His Word that great strength is available when three people come together.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Matthew 18:20 says, "For where two or there come together in my name, there am I with them."
Give your friends a chance, and don't think you are no longer welcome because your spouse is not with you. Let God give you the courage to go into situations in which you may feel awkward or unwanted.
Powerful God, I've been prejudging my friends and assuming they don't really want me around. My relationships with friends are different now, but different does not mean less loving or caring. Clear my vision to see how these relationships can become fuller and deeper because of You. Amen.
~ I felt like I wasn't wanted around friends and family because they might have to strike up a conversation and who wants to be the one to say the dreaded "and how are you doing" because that is like a loaded question.
Loss of Purpose and Direction - Day 122
Loss of Purpose and Direction
Day 122
You may feel as though you have no purpose, that there's nothing left for you to do This feeling can be particularly strong if your spouse underwent a long illness and you had put all your time and energy into caring for him or her.
"Don't get caught up in the fact that you have lost someone," says Patricia, who is a widow, "but that God has something out there for you and that your life is not over. It may be the beginning of something very special that He has planned for you. It may be something that you would not be able to do if He had kept that one person on earth with you."
You are going to have a new, changed identity. God is calling you for a specific purpose, and you can trust Him to accomplish His purpose in your life.
"I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills (his purpose) for me" (Psalm 57:2).
"The LORD will fulfill [his purpose] for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever -- do not abandon the works of your hands" (Psalm 138:8).
Lord God, I don't feel purposeful at all right now, but I'm starting to be curious about what it is You want me to do. Amen.
~ It took me a long time to find myself again. I was in a shadow or fog for two years. I don't remember much of the happenings of those two years. I was just going through the motions. I got lost because I suddenly didn't know how to be myself when what I considered to be myself was wrapped up in seeing my sister daily and talking to her throughout the day. I would talk to my mom and see her every night before I went to bed. I suddenly didn't have either of them and I had to move out of our house within a month after that. It was too much too soon for me to handle. My reality was gone. I was going to need to find and figure out what my new reality was and not get lost in what I no longer had. I needed to start living again and not just staying stagnant. I wasn't functioning well, which for a single mom to a 15 month old isn't a good thing. I suddenly lost my son's caregiver and I was my mother's keeper. I didn't have her to check on and to make sure she took her medicine and make sure that she ate. It became too much too soon and I felt lost. The family and friends only stay around for a short amount of time. They all eventually go back to their own lives. It is then that you have to decide if you are going to wallow in self pity or if you are going to stand up on your own two feet again and face this new reality head on. It took me 2 years to figure out that I was ready to stand up and fight again. It took me until this year (3 years after their passing) to get to a point where I am my own person and I don't dwell or harp on the fact that I am missing my sister and my mother. I still feel alone sometimes, but I have another sister. I have aunts and cousins. I have friends. I am more blessed that I ever realized and that is okay. It is now the time to awaken and not take for granted what isn't promised, because tomorrow isn't promised.
Day 122
You may feel as though you have no purpose, that there's nothing left for you to do This feeling can be particularly strong if your spouse underwent a long illness and you had put all your time and energy into caring for him or her.
"Don't get caught up in the fact that you have lost someone," says Patricia, who is a widow, "but that God has something out there for you and that your life is not over. It may be the beginning of something very special that He has planned for you. It may be something that you would not be able to do if He had kept that one person on earth with you."
You are going to have a new, changed identity. God is calling you for a specific purpose, and you can trust Him to accomplish His purpose in your life.
"I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills (his purpose) for me" (Psalm 57:2).
"The LORD will fulfill [his purpose] for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever -- do not abandon the works of your hands" (Psalm 138:8).
Lord God, I don't feel purposeful at all right now, but I'm starting to be curious about what it is You want me to do. Amen.
~ It took me a long time to find myself again. I was in a shadow or fog for two years. I don't remember much of the happenings of those two years. I was just going through the motions. I got lost because I suddenly didn't know how to be myself when what I considered to be myself was wrapped up in seeing my sister daily and talking to her throughout the day. I would talk to my mom and see her every night before I went to bed. I suddenly didn't have either of them and I had to move out of our house within a month after that. It was too much too soon for me to handle. My reality was gone. I was going to need to find and figure out what my new reality was and not get lost in what I no longer had. I needed to start living again and not just staying stagnant. I wasn't functioning well, which for a single mom to a 15 month old isn't a good thing. I suddenly lost my son's caregiver and I was my mother's keeper. I didn't have her to check on and to make sure she took her medicine and make sure that she ate. It became too much too soon and I felt lost. The family and friends only stay around for a short amount of time. They all eventually go back to their own lives. It is then that you have to decide if you are going to wallow in self pity or if you are going to stand up on your own two feet again and face this new reality head on. It took me 2 years to figure out that I was ready to stand up and fight again. It took me until this year (3 years after their passing) to get to a point where I am my own person and I don't dwell or harp on the fact that I am missing my sister and my mother. I still feel alone sometimes, but I have another sister. I have aunts and cousins. I have friends. I am more blessed that I ever realized and that is okay. It is now the time to awaken and not take for granted what isn't promised, because tomorrow isn't promised.
Who Am I? - Day 121
Who Am I?
Day 121
"Who am I?" ask Heidi. "I had identified with this person; I had become one with this person. Our hopes and dreams were together. And now, who am I?"
When you are confused and uncertain, and you don't even know who you are anymore, remember that these feelings are expected with the loss of a spouse. Spend time working through these bewildering thoughts, and don't rush the process.
Trying to skip steps on your grief journey will not aid your healing; it will only set you back. Your identity is not gone; it just needs to be a rediscovered.
"Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture" (Psalm 100:3).
Lord, show me what it means to belong to You. Amen.
~ Again, I can relate to missing the person that I thought I was. I was so enveloped in my family and seeing my family day in and day out that I took for granted the fact that they were in my every day. I didn't tell them I loved them every chance I got. I tell my son every day and several times a day that I love him. He knows he is loved. I miss telling my mom and sister that I love them. I miss my sister's sense of humor and her silly blonde jokes. I miss her trying to push Sammy Hagar on me and I miss her going IDOL crazy! My sister loved my child as if he was her own and that is a love that can't compare!
Day 121
"Who am I?" ask Heidi. "I had identified with this person; I had become one with this person. Our hopes and dreams were together. And now, who am I?"
When you are confused and uncertain, and you don't even know who you are anymore, remember that these feelings are expected with the loss of a spouse. Spend time working through these bewildering thoughts, and don't rush the process.
Trying to skip steps on your grief journey will not aid your healing; it will only set you back. Your identity is not gone; it just needs to be a rediscovered.
"Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture" (Psalm 100:3).
Lord, show me what it means to belong to You. Amen.
~ Again, I can relate to missing the person that I thought I was. I was so enveloped in my family and seeing my family day in and day out that I took for granted the fact that they were in my every day. I didn't tell them I loved them every chance I got. I tell my son every day and several times a day that I love him. He knows he is loved. I miss telling my mom and sister that I love them. I miss my sister's sense of humor and her silly blonde jokes. I miss her trying to push Sammy Hagar on me and I miss her going IDOL crazy! My sister loved my child as if he was her own and that is a love that can't compare!
Shared Identity - Day 120
Shared Identity
Day 120
You shared a one-flesh relationship. Your identities, your very beings, were interwoven with each other. When your spouse died, you lost a large part of your identity, leaving you unsure of who you are.
Marie, whose husband passed away, says, "It was like trying to discover who I was all over again. For so many years you're a wife and a mother, and now all of the sudden, I'm no longer ---'s wife. After being married seventeen years, I had to figure out, what do I do with my life now?"
In order to find yourself, you must first find the Lord Jesus. And if you already know the Lord, then just as He established your identity during your marriage, He will show you who you are now.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned" (John 15:5-6).
Lord, my life is an outgrowth of Yours. May I build my new identity on this strong foundation. Amen.
~ I haven't suffered this type of loss. I can imagine how rough it must be to suddenly be alone yet not alone. When surrounded by family and friends it still is a very quiet place being that you no longer get to have conversations with the very people that you woke up to talk to every morning. It is a longing for someone who made such joy and happiness in your heart and soul, yet you can survive without them. It hurts and no one can tell you or make you not feel any of it. It just is what it is. I miss having conversations with my mom and sister every single day. I saw my sister 5 days a week and talked to her throughout the day all days of the week. It was a different reality when suddenly I can't just pick up the phone and hear her laugh or have her cuss and fuss for me or at me. I miss that.
Day 120
You shared a one-flesh relationship. Your identities, your very beings, were interwoven with each other. When your spouse died, you lost a large part of your identity, leaving you unsure of who you are.
Marie, whose husband passed away, says, "It was like trying to discover who I was all over again. For so many years you're a wife and a mother, and now all of the sudden, I'm no longer ---'s wife. After being married seventeen years, I had to figure out, what do I do with my life now?"
In order to find yourself, you must first find the Lord Jesus. And if you already know the Lord, then just as He established your identity during your marriage, He will show you who you are now.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned" (John 15:5-6).
Lord, my life is an outgrowth of Yours. May I build my new identity on this strong foundation. Amen.
~ I haven't suffered this type of loss. I can imagine how rough it must be to suddenly be alone yet not alone. When surrounded by family and friends it still is a very quiet place being that you no longer get to have conversations with the very people that you woke up to talk to every morning. It is a longing for someone who made such joy and happiness in your heart and soul, yet you can survive without them. It hurts and no one can tell you or make you not feel any of it. It just is what it is. I miss having conversations with my mom and sister every single day. I saw my sister 5 days a week and talked to her throughout the day all days of the week. It was a different reality when suddenly I can't just pick up the phone and hear her laugh or have her cuss and fuss for me or at me. I miss that.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Shared Knowledge of Each Other - Day 119
Shared Knowledge of Each Other
Day 119
"When you're married so long, you know what the other person is thinking before he even speaks. Your minds are so close that you miss that too," says Nancy after the death of her husband.
What a blessing to have someone who knew you so well and loved you just the way you are.
Let God fill this need in your life. He knows you inside and out. He knows even the number of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7). Nothing about you is hidden from God. He loves you unconditionally.
"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD" (Psalm 139:1-4).
Lord God, You know me better than I know myself. I want our relationship to grow deep and strong. Amen.
~ I pray this last part with conviction and passion. I know that I can't do this alone. I thought that when I thought of "footprints in the sand" that I only saw my footprints. Then I remembered that it was then that HE carried me. I now can visualize two sets. HE carried me until I was able to stand on my own two feet. I feel so blessed and highly favored. I will continue to strengthen my communication with Him so that I can stay renewed, restored and forever changed. I aspire to inspire!
Day 119
"When you're married so long, you know what the other person is thinking before he even speaks. Your minds are so close that you miss that too," says Nancy after the death of her husband.
What a blessing to have someone who knew you so well and loved you just the way you are.
Let God fill this need in your life. He knows you inside and out. He knows even the number of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7). Nothing about you is hidden from God. He loves you unconditionally.
"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD" (Psalm 139:1-4).
Lord God, You know me better than I know myself. I want our relationship to grow deep and strong. Amen.
~ I pray this last part with conviction and passion. I know that I can't do this alone. I thought that when I thought of "footprints in the sand" that I only saw my footprints. Then I remembered that it was then that HE carried me. I now can visualize two sets. HE carried me until I was able to stand on my own two feet. I feel so blessed and highly favored. I will continue to strengthen my communication with Him so that I can stay renewed, restored and forever changed. I aspire to inspire!
Shared Dreams - Day 118
Shared Dreams
Day 118
You had so many dreams and plans together. Your future was anticipated as a twosome.
Emy, whose husband died, says, "We did not do everything we had always hoped. The golden years were not golden. Some of our dreams were really dashed. But you have to realize that life is not given to you as a rose garden, and you don't appreciate the heights until you go through the valleys."
Right now you may feel completely hopeless, and all you can see in your mind is ruined dreams. But as you look toward the future, focus beyond the debris and find the light. There is a light in your darkness, and that light is the Lord Jesus Christ.
"You will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts" (2 Peter 1:19).
Lord Jesus, help me to see beyond my broken dreams and to follow the light that will lead me into a new day. Amen.
~ As I said before, I haven't experienced loss to this degree. But, I did have dreams of my sister and son growing close. She was so happy to be an Auntie. She was so thrilled that I took him to her to watch while I was at work. I drove 128 miles daily to take him to her (this was two round trips of 64 miles each) and I didn't blink twice to do it. I envisioned my son getting to grow up with her sons and pick up boy habits and get to have an uncle who loved him so very much. ALL that died the day my sister did. So, in essence, I know the loss of shared dreams. It still makes me sad and teary-eyed. I guess I haven't completely mourned that loss as of yet. I find more and more things that I haven't done, said or accomplished and it makes my heart sad. :(
Day 118
You had so many dreams and plans together. Your future was anticipated as a twosome.
Emy, whose husband died, says, "We did not do everything we had always hoped. The golden years were not golden. Some of our dreams were really dashed. But you have to realize that life is not given to you as a rose garden, and you don't appreciate the heights until you go through the valleys."
Right now you may feel completely hopeless, and all you can see in your mind is ruined dreams. But as you look toward the future, focus beyond the debris and find the light. There is a light in your darkness, and that light is the Lord Jesus Christ.
"You will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts" (2 Peter 1:19).
Lord Jesus, help me to see beyond my broken dreams and to follow the light that will lead me into a new day. Amen.
~ As I said before, I haven't experienced loss to this degree. But, I did have dreams of my sister and son growing close. She was so happy to be an Auntie. She was so thrilled that I took him to her to watch while I was at work. I drove 128 miles daily to take him to her (this was two round trips of 64 miles each) and I didn't blink twice to do it. I envisioned my son getting to grow up with her sons and pick up boy habits and get to have an uncle who loved him so very much. ALL that died the day my sister did. So, in essence, I know the loss of shared dreams. It still makes me sad and teary-eyed. I guess I haven't completely mourned that loss as of yet. I find more and more things that I haven't done, said or accomplished and it makes my heart sad. :(
One-Flesh Relationship - Day 117
One-Flesh Relationship
Day 117
A part of who you are is gone. Your identity is shaken to the very core. You wonder if you will ever feel normal again or if you will ever enjoy life again.
"When you lose a mate, you lose part of yourself," says Dr. Jim Conway. "It's as if you've had an amputation of an arm or a leg. I think you don't really recover; you adjust, and the process of adjusting varies with every individual. There's no formula."
The pain that comes from the loss of a spouse is much deeper than most people realize because in a marital relationship two people become one flesh.
"The man said, 'This is now bone of bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called "woman," for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:23-24).
When part of your flesh is abruptly taken away, there is a ripping and a tearing that leaves a huge, open wound.
"Until you have experienced the death of a spouse, there is no way you can tell someone how deep the hurt is. The Lord says that we are one flesh, and suddenly half of that flesh is torn from us," says Beth.
Lord God, a part of me is gone and will never be recovered. What do I do now? Amen.
~ I haven't experienced this type of loss. I have lost a sister and mother. I lost my grandfather. I lost my cousins in a tragic car accident just a week ago. It seems that my losses range. I feel the losses for others as well. I guess when you truly know love you feel empathy and sympathy for others. Well, at least, I do. I pray that when this happens I will remember the journey that I have come and that my connection with God is strong and sustaining. I pray that for each of my family and friends, because it has been through Him and with Him that I have found strength and understanding. I look down in the sand and I see two sets of footprints again. I feel blessed that He carried me for those 2-1/2 years when I was in my fog and despair.
Day 117
A part of who you are is gone. Your identity is shaken to the very core. You wonder if you will ever feel normal again or if you will ever enjoy life again.
"When you lose a mate, you lose part of yourself," says Dr. Jim Conway. "It's as if you've had an amputation of an arm or a leg. I think you don't really recover; you adjust, and the process of adjusting varies with every individual. There's no formula."
The pain that comes from the loss of a spouse is much deeper than most people realize because in a marital relationship two people become one flesh.
"The man said, 'This is now bone of bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called "woman," for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:23-24).
When part of your flesh is abruptly taken away, there is a ripping and a tearing that leaves a huge, open wound.
"Until you have experienced the death of a spouse, there is no way you can tell someone how deep the hurt is. The Lord says that we are one flesh, and suddenly half of that flesh is torn from us," says Beth.
Lord God, a part of me is gone and will never be recovered. What do I do now? Amen.
~ I haven't experienced this type of loss. I have lost a sister and mother. I lost my grandfather. I lost my cousins in a tragic car accident just a week ago. It seems that my losses range. I feel the losses for others as well. I guess when you truly know love you feel empathy and sympathy for others. Well, at least, I do. I pray that when this happens I will remember the journey that I have come and that my connection with God is strong and sustaining. I pray that for each of my family and friends, because it has been through Him and with Him that I have found strength and understanding. I look down in the sand and I see two sets of footprints again. I feel blessed that He carried me for those 2-1/2 years when I was in my fog and despair.
God's Blanket of Love - Day 116
God's Blanket of Love
Day 116
"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until this violent storm is past. I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me. He will send help from heaven to save me ... My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness" (Psalm 57:1-3 NLT).
When you are at your lowest point and it seems as though no one can reach you, God can. He is there for you, if you will just accept His help.
"God has to be a comfort blanket to you," says Barbara Johnson. "Until you accept that comfort blanket of God's love, you are going to be struggling or hurting. God's comfort blanket makes you feel so secure and so loved. His comfort blanket has sustained me."
God's everlasting arms will always be underneath you, upholding you through the pain. His love will always surround you, enveloping you in comfort and security. His wisdom will guide you through each day. Talk to God today. Tell Him that you need His help, His love, His comfort, and His everlasting presence.
"The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him" (Psalm 32:10).
Saving God, I need Your help. I need to know and experience Your love and comfort in my life today. Thank you for loving me. Amen.
~ I think I have finally reached this point. I feel like from the day my sister died until recently that I was taken to a place within and felt lost. I didn't understand why the conversation with Him stopped. It wasn't that He wasn't there for me, it was that I had stopped listening. I was in a place of hurt and of fog. I am so grateful that I am now at a place where I KNOW my God is awesome and I hear my son say it every day. THAT is a blessing. I know that I am doing something right when my child would rather listen to gospel music than booty shaking music. #highlyfavored #trulyblessed
Day 116
"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until this violent storm is past. I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me. He will send help from heaven to save me ... My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness" (Psalm 57:1-3 NLT).
When you are at your lowest point and it seems as though no one can reach you, God can. He is there for you, if you will just accept His help.
"God has to be a comfort blanket to you," says Barbara Johnson. "Until you accept that comfort blanket of God's love, you are going to be struggling or hurting. God's comfort blanket makes you feel so secure and so loved. His comfort blanket has sustained me."
God's everlasting arms will always be underneath you, upholding you through the pain. His love will always surround you, enveloping you in comfort and security. His wisdom will guide you through each day. Talk to God today. Tell Him that you need His help, His love, His comfort, and His everlasting presence.
"The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him" (Psalm 32:10).
Saving God, I need Your help. I need to know and experience Your love and comfort in my life today. Thank you for loving me. Amen.
~ I think I have finally reached this point. I feel like from the day my sister died until recently that I was taken to a place within and felt lost. I didn't understand why the conversation with Him stopped. It wasn't that He wasn't there for me, it was that I had stopped listening. I was in a place of hurt and of fog. I am so grateful that I am now at a place where I KNOW my God is awesome and I hear my son say it every day. THAT is a blessing. I know that I am doing something right when my child would rather listen to gospel music than booty shaking music. #highlyfavored #trulyblessed
The Lowest Point - Day 115
The Lowest Point
Day 115
"The bottom is a lot deeper than you would even think," says Dr. John Trent.
If you feel as if these dark days will never pass, we want to assure you that there is hope because of Jesus. He suffered and died and rose again on the third day.
Those early disciples saw Jesus put to death on a cross and were as hopeless as anyone ever was. All their dreams and hopes died with Him. Yet when they saw Jesus alive from the dead, it changed everything.
Even during the heaviest, most hurtful times of your grieving experience, you, too, can share the hope that only Jesus brings.
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure" (Hebrews 6:19).
Jesus, my hope is in You. Amen.
~ I think I have hit pretty low a few times. Not quite bottom as I never really gave up. I am blessed that no matter what I have maintained the drive and determination to push forward because I have that blessing that is my child. I have grown in my faith and am working on getting better at it and passing it along to my child. Morals and gratitude. I want for my child to know Jesus and to feel His love in his heart.
Day 115
"The bottom is a lot deeper than you would even think," says Dr. John Trent.
If you feel as if these dark days will never pass, we want to assure you that there is hope because of Jesus. He suffered and died and rose again on the third day.
Those early disciples saw Jesus put to death on a cross and were as hopeless as anyone ever was. All their dreams and hopes died with Him. Yet when they saw Jesus alive from the dead, it changed everything.
Even during the heaviest, most hurtful times of your grieving experience, you, too, can share the hope that only Jesus brings.
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure" (Hebrews 6:19).
Jesus, my hope is in You. Amen.
~ I think I have hit pretty low a few times. Not quite bottom as I never really gave up. I am blessed that no matter what I have maintained the drive and determination to push forward because I have that blessing that is my child. I have grown in my faith and am working on getting better at it and passing it along to my child. Morals and gratitude. I want for my child to know Jesus and to feel His love in his heart.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Cling to God - Day 114
Cling to God
Day 114
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27).
God is a big God. His strength and power are beyond comprehension. When it seems a major effort to get out of bed and function, when you cannot think straight, when holding on to any kind of hope seems impossible, this is the time to pray and to understand that with God all things are possible.
"How do I cling to God?" asks Kay Arthur, whose husband committed suicide. She answers, "I cling to God by finding out everything I can about God and then not letting go of it. I hold on, if I have to, literally by my fingernails. I know that when I hang on by my fingernails, I'm going to feel underneath me the Everlasting Arms, which are going to hold me and sustain me."
When your faith is only the size of a tiny, tiny mustard seed, you can move a large mountain because you believe in the power of God. You have chosen to trust in Him, and He will be there to give you strength.
"He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you'" (Matthew 17:20). Even a little faith, when it is in a big God, is sufficient.
Almighty God, I will cling to You with every ounce of strength I have left. Please give me more faith. Amen.
~ I love today's message. It was right on time! My God is AWESOME! He is my protector and my provider. I am so blessed to have found my way back to my faith. When I found my way back and started forgiving and I really really started living. God's grace is beautiful.
Day 114
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27).
God is a big God. His strength and power are beyond comprehension. When it seems a major effort to get out of bed and function, when you cannot think straight, when holding on to any kind of hope seems impossible, this is the time to pray and to understand that with God all things are possible.
"How do I cling to God?" asks Kay Arthur, whose husband committed suicide. She answers, "I cling to God by finding out everything I can about God and then not letting go of it. I hold on, if I have to, literally by my fingernails. I know that when I hang on by my fingernails, I'm going to feel underneath me the Everlasting Arms, which are going to hold me and sustain me."
When your faith is only the size of a tiny, tiny mustard seed, you can move a large mountain because you believe in the power of God. You have chosen to trust in Him, and He will be there to give you strength.
"He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you'" (Matthew 17:20). Even a little faith, when it is in a big God, is sufficient.
Almighty God, I will cling to You with every ounce of strength I have left. Please give me more faith. Amen.
~ I love today's message. It was right on time! My God is AWESOME! He is my protector and my provider. I am so blessed to have found my way back to my faith. When I found my way back and started forgiving and I really really started living. God's grace is beautiful.
When You Want to End the Pain - Day 113
When You Want to End the Pain
Day 113
One of the most destructive choices you could consider as you deal with grief and loss is the possibility of suicide. Although your motivation may be to end the pain, you will actually inflict a greater pain on those you leave behind.
For those of you who have lost a loved one through suicide, you know firsthand the deep heartache and overwhelming emotions that occur as a result.
Shelly's son committed suicide. She shares: "There was pain so deep that I didn't know if I was going to be able to get up sometimes. I was like, 'Lord, I don't think I can go another twenty-five years or however long I may have on this earth. I don't think I can handle this amount of pain.'"
Katie, whose husband committed suicide, says, "Nobody knows what it is like until you have to go through it."
These emotions are normal, but if you actually begin to form a plan to end your life -- if you feel it is worthless to continue or that you cannot handle the pain any longer -- you need to call your pastor or a doctor immediately. You need professional support for this kind of crisis.
Your friends cannot take the place of professional counselors, but they will be a support for you. Many people love you dearly and would give you anything to reach out and help you. Remember, though, that other people cannot know what you are thinking or feeling unless you open up and tell them. Reach out to other people, continue to build relationships, and do not close yourself off. Let people love you even when they don't understand you.
Jesus has promised you hope and healing for the future. You will receive and be reminded of this hope through your relationships with other people as you let God's love flow through them to you. Let God minister His love to you today.
"The Father himself loves you dearly" (John 16:27 NLT).
Holy God, teach me how to love and be loved. Amen.
~ I am blessed that I know the love of God even in my darkest hours. I love my son and I continue on to be that constant in his life. I know what it is like to lose a mother and I couldn't bear to put my child through that on my own accord. God WILL make a way!
Day 113
One of the most destructive choices you could consider as you deal with grief and loss is the possibility of suicide. Although your motivation may be to end the pain, you will actually inflict a greater pain on those you leave behind.
For those of you who have lost a loved one through suicide, you know firsthand the deep heartache and overwhelming emotions that occur as a result.
Shelly's son committed suicide. She shares: "There was pain so deep that I didn't know if I was going to be able to get up sometimes. I was like, 'Lord, I don't think I can go another twenty-five years or however long I may have on this earth. I don't think I can handle this amount of pain.'"
Katie, whose husband committed suicide, says, "Nobody knows what it is like until you have to go through it."
These emotions are normal, but if you actually begin to form a plan to end your life -- if you feel it is worthless to continue or that you cannot handle the pain any longer -- you need to call your pastor or a doctor immediately. You need professional support for this kind of crisis.
Your friends cannot take the place of professional counselors, but they will be a support for you. Many people love you dearly and would give you anything to reach out and help you. Remember, though, that other people cannot know what you are thinking or feeling unless you open up and tell them. Reach out to other people, continue to build relationships, and do not close yourself off. Let people love you even when they don't understand you.
Jesus has promised you hope and healing for the future. You will receive and be reminded of this hope through your relationships with other people as you let God's love flow through them to you. Let God minister His love to you today.
"The Father himself loves you dearly" (John 16:27 NLT).
Holy God, teach me how to love and be loved. Amen.
~ I am blessed that I know the love of God even in my darkest hours. I love my son and I continue on to be that constant in his life. I know what it is like to lose a mother and I couldn't bear to put my child through that on my own accord. God WILL make a way!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Tempted to Give Up? - Day 112
Tempted to Give Up?
Day 112
You may feel you would rather escape than endure. But remember, it is always too soon to give up. God sent His angels to rescue Daniel only after he was in the lion's den (Daniel 6:19-21). Paul says God rescued him after he had the "sentence of death" within him (2 Corinthians 1:9). God rescued Peter from prison the night before he was to be executed (Acts 12:4-11). Even at the last moment, He can rescue you. Never give up.
"Whatever string you can find to hold on to, whatever you know about God in your heart, hang on to it with everything you have. Then stand back and see His glory," says Janet Paschal, whose grandfather died.
When it seems that there is nothing left to live for, God will prove Himself true. Focus on Him and do not let your thoughts stray for a moment.
Job initially wanted God to take his life: "Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for, that God would be willing to crush me, to let loose his hand and cut me off!" (Job 6:8-9). But if God had granted Job's request, he would never have seen God's blessing in the end.
The book of Habakkuk encourages you to trust in God and persevere no matter how bad things seem: "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet will I rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights" (Habakkuk 3:17-19).
Savior God, I see nothing but darkness, but in this darkness I grasp at a pinpoint of light, which is my knowledge of You. I will hold on to this, Lord, with all the strength I can muster, for You alone are my hope. Amen.
~ There were times when I was making forward progress and then I would be ambushed and then get thrown back. It was a reality check because I was just under the delusion that I was doing better than I really was. I thought if I thought happy thoughts that it would all just be better and then BAM something would ambush me and I would be set back. There were many a time that I wanted to quit, but then I realized that MY GOD IS AWESOME. My son sings it to me daily and I know that through Him and with Him I am able to make it and thrive. #blessed #highlyfavored
Day 112
You may feel you would rather escape than endure. But remember, it is always too soon to give up. God sent His angels to rescue Daniel only after he was in the lion's den (Daniel 6:19-21). Paul says God rescued him after he had the "sentence of death" within him (2 Corinthians 1:9). God rescued Peter from prison the night before he was to be executed (Acts 12:4-11). Even at the last moment, He can rescue you. Never give up.
"Whatever string you can find to hold on to, whatever you know about God in your heart, hang on to it with everything you have. Then stand back and see His glory," says Janet Paschal, whose grandfather died.
When it seems that there is nothing left to live for, God will prove Himself true. Focus on Him and do not let your thoughts stray for a moment.
Job initially wanted God to take his life: "Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for, that God would be willing to crush me, to let loose his hand and cut me off!" (Job 6:8-9). But if God had granted Job's request, he would never have seen God's blessing in the end.
The book of Habakkuk encourages you to trust in God and persevere no matter how bad things seem: "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet will I rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights" (Habakkuk 3:17-19).
Savior God, I see nothing but darkness, but in this darkness I grasp at a pinpoint of light, which is my knowledge of You. I will hold on to this, Lord, with all the strength I can muster, for You alone are my hope. Amen.
~ There were times when I was making forward progress and then I would be ambushed and then get thrown back. It was a reality check because I was just under the delusion that I was doing better than I really was. I thought if I thought happy thoughts that it would all just be better and then BAM something would ambush me and I would be set back. There were many a time that I wanted to quit, but then I realized that MY GOD IS AWESOME. My son sings it to me daily and I know that through Him and with Him I am able to make it and thrive. #blessed #highlyfavored
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Compulsive Behaviors Hinder Healing - Day 111
Compulsive Behaviors Hinder Healing
Day 111
Dr. H. Norman Wright says, "The person who has a tendency toward any kind of compulsive behavior or addiction might see this come to the forefront even more so during grief."
Along with drug and alcohol abuse and excessive diet habits and activity, other compulsive behaviors associated with grief include anger and violence. You may have found that you will submit yourself to anything to escape the pain of grief.
These behaviors may temporarily sedate the pain, but they will hinder and even block your healing.
It is wise to take some time to think and pray about your compulsive behavior, and identify whether or not your behavior is grief-induced or if you have been struggling with this problem for much longer. If you have a compulsive behavior that is out of your control, please seek help through your church or a Christian organization. You must learn to cope with and heal from this behavior so that you can heal from your grief.
"I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him" (Isaiah 57:18).
Lord Jesus, I want a fresh start with You. Show me how. Amen.
~ I realized along this journey that I was emotional eating. I knew I was gaining weight, but didn't realize that I was feeding my face until I would get on the scale and be shocked that the scale was moving in the wrong direction. I am a night eater. I find that I find myself in my emotions or trying to keep from them at night and I find that I am most certainly swallowing my emotions figuratively and physically. It fathoms my mind how I allow it to happen, yet I don't realize I have done it until it is done. I sit there afterwards and am disgusted. I start to think back and wonder if I was truly hungry or if it was thirst. I wonder if I was just trying to bandaid my hurt. The good thing is that I am now aware of this behavior and am able to reroute that urge or those feelings. I most of all just make myself go to bed, because that is what I am avoiding when I sit up and watch tv late at night and eat. I am avoiding laying in the bed in the dark with my thoughts that sometimes lead me to a sad moment or a memory. Mostly I just want to get in the bed and be able to go to sleep without my thoughts running rampant.
Day 111
Dr. H. Norman Wright says, "The person who has a tendency toward any kind of compulsive behavior or addiction might see this come to the forefront even more so during grief."
Along with drug and alcohol abuse and excessive diet habits and activity, other compulsive behaviors associated with grief include anger and violence. You may have found that you will submit yourself to anything to escape the pain of grief.
These behaviors may temporarily sedate the pain, but they will hinder and even block your healing.
It is wise to take some time to think and pray about your compulsive behavior, and identify whether or not your behavior is grief-induced or if you have been struggling with this problem for much longer. If you have a compulsive behavior that is out of your control, please seek help through your church or a Christian organization. You must learn to cope with and heal from this behavior so that you can heal from your grief.
"I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him" (Isaiah 57:18).
Lord Jesus, I want a fresh start with You. Show me how. Amen.
~ I realized along this journey that I was emotional eating. I knew I was gaining weight, but didn't realize that I was feeding my face until I would get on the scale and be shocked that the scale was moving in the wrong direction. I am a night eater. I find that I find myself in my emotions or trying to keep from them at night and I find that I am most certainly swallowing my emotions figuratively and physically. It fathoms my mind how I allow it to happen, yet I don't realize I have done it until it is done. I sit there afterwards and am disgusted. I start to think back and wonder if I was truly hungry or if it was thirst. I wonder if I was just trying to bandaid my hurt. The good thing is that I am now aware of this behavior and am able to reroute that urge or those feelings. I most of all just make myself go to bed, because that is what I am avoiding when I sit up and watch tv late at night and eat. I am avoiding laying in the bed in the dark with my thoughts that sometimes lead me to a sad moment or a memory. Mostly I just want to get in the bed and be able to go to sleep without my thoughts running rampant.
Compulsive Behaviors - Day 110
Compulsive Behaviors
Day 110
A compulsive behavior is an activity you feel compelled to do excessively in order to distract yourself from the pain. It is something you do to avoid grief.
Many people associate compulsive behaviors with negative actions such as overeating, not eating, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing drugs. But compulsive behaviors can also include activities that are normally thought of as good -- working, cleaning, serving at church, or remodeling the house. These behaviors become compulsive when a person continues to overdo an activity to avoid the pain.
A compulsive behavior "always offers more than it provides," says Dr. John Trent. Therefore, you might keep increasing your activity or behavior to find that original satisfaction and comfort, which is now elusive.
"Genuine healing from grief," says Dr. Trent, "comes not in an artificial climate, which all those are -- activity or drugs or whatever, it comes through the reality of knowing Jesus Christ."
Honor God with your behavior, and know that true satisfaction is found in Him.
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were brought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Lord Jesus, I want to know You. Dwell within me as I seek to honor You with my actions and behaviors. Amen.
~ I found myself finding other things to do other than taking the time to just be still and grieve. I stayed so busy that I was exhausted from being so busy. It wasn't until I stopped and realized that I was staying so busy that I was actually keeping myself from sleeping. Every time I closed my eyes I would have flashbacks to events, times that reminded me of the deaths of my sister and my mother. I was taken back yet pushed forward. It has been a weird week of full circle awareness and perspective reality checks. I just have to take the time to reassess and move forward.
Day 110
A compulsive behavior is an activity you feel compelled to do excessively in order to distract yourself from the pain. It is something you do to avoid grief.
Many people associate compulsive behaviors with negative actions such as overeating, not eating, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing drugs. But compulsive behaviors can also include activities that are normally thought of as good -- working, cleaning, serving at church, or remodeling the house. These behaviors become compulsive when a person continues to overdo an activity to avoid the pain.
A compulsive behavior "always offers more than it provides," says Dr. John Trent. Therefore, you might keep increasing your activity or behavior to find that original satisfaction and comfort, which is now elusive.
"Genuine healing from grief," says Dr. Trent, "comes not in an artificial climate, which all those are -- activity or drugs or whatever, it comes through the reality of knowing Jesus Christ."
Honor God with your behavior, and know that true satisfaction is found in Him.
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were brought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Lord Jesus, I want to know You. Dwell within me as I seek to honor You with my actions and behaviors. Amen.
~ I found myself finding other things to do other than taking the time to just be still and grieve. I stayed so busy that I was exhausted from being so busy. It wasn't until I stopped and realized that I was staying so busy that I was actually keeping myself from sleeping. Every time I closed my eyes I would have flashbacks to events, times that reminded me of the deaths of my sister and my mother. I was taken back yet pushed forward. It has been a weird week of full circle awareness and perspective reality checks. I just have to take the time to reassess and move forward.
Destructive Choices - Day 109
Destructive Choices
Day 109
In an effort to escape the pain, you may sometimes look for short-term solutions such as alcohol, overwork, drugs, or sex. These destructive choices have two elements in common:
1. They prolong the actual grieving process.
2. They break down the values and priorities that a person had embraced beforehand.
Dr. Robert Abarno says, "It's called displacement. When you don't face the issue and you don't want to accept the answer 'I am the problem,' you may displace it by getting into alcohol or relationships or drugs or whatever. But that is temporary. It just doesn't do the job."
A quick fix lasts only a moment, but God is forever. Seek to please the Spirit, and you will move forward in healing.
"The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:8-9).
Heavenly Father, I need to get off this road of destruction and onto the road of life. Lead me there. Amen.
~ I didn't realize that I was displacing anything. It makes sense when it is said to me (or I read it as I did with this email today). The very people that would be my comforters are the ones that died. I don't have that support system anymore and it gets lonely being the one that has to hold it together for myself, my sister and my son. It doesn't make it any easier that I just feel lost and saved all at the same time. I see all this good happening for others around me and I wonder what I am doing wrong. Yet, it will happen in God's timing not mine. I just have to keep the faith and pray. I long for a real relationship where I thrive and grow and am able to give my love freely to the other person and receive it back.
Forward, Backward - Day 108
Forward, Backward
Day 108
Do not be discouraged if it feels as though you are going backward at times -- sometimes forward, sometimes backward. That is the natural process of grief.
If you are bringing your hurts and fears to God, if you desire to move forward toward healing, if you are learning about the grieving process and trying to apply some things you have learned, then you are making progress, even when you do not feel you are.
Dora, whose daughter passed away, says, "Sometimes you think, Last week I could cope wit hthis, and this week I can't, and then you'll think, I'm not getting any better. I'm not making any progress. Then you'll take a big leap forward. There's no timeline."
You, too, will take that big leap forward as times goes on. For now, concentrate on the small victories over the pain -- fewer tears, a smile, helping another person, reading and understanding a Bible passage, replacing a negative thought with a positive thought, forgiving a wrong.
"We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need" (Colossians 1:11 NLT).
Father God, when I get discouraged because it feels like I'm going backward and not forward, help me to stop trying so hard and allow You to be my support and strength. Amen.
~ I was just feeling this way last night. I felt like I had made progress and was in forward motion and then another crisis in the family and BAM I am back to what feels like square one. But, when I got to thinking about all that I have accomplished and the fact that I got through my Mother's Day without being overly sad or depressed and I actually was living and enjoyed my time with my son and my aunt then I realized that I have grown by leaps and bounds. I felt a little guilt that I didn't cry as much as I thought I would/should/could have. It was like a double edged sword. I was sad that my cousin and her sons died, but then someone wrote that at least Joy was in heaven with her sons on Mother's day and that they all got to be with the Lord. That put a smile on my face. Plus my momma, sister, uncle Rick and Popo were there to greet them. Uncle Rick being their grandfather, I bet that was an awesome reception.
Day 108
Do not be discouraged if it feels as though you are going backward at times -- sometimes forward, sometimes backward. That is the natural process of grief.
If you are bringing your hurts and fears to God, if you desire to move forward toward healing, if you are learning about the grieving process and trying to apply some things you have learned, then you are making progress, even when you do not feel you are.
Dora, whose daughter passed away, says, "Sometimes you think, Last week I could cope wit hthis, and this week I can't, and then you'll think, I'm not getting any better. I'm not making any progress. Then you'll take a big leap forward. There's no timeline."
You, too, will take that big leap forward as times goes on. For now, concentrate on the small victories over the pain -- fewer tears, a smile, helping another person, reading and understanding a Bible passage, replacing a negative thought with a positive thought, forgiving a wrong.
"We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need" (Colossians 1:11 NLT).
Father God, when I get discouraged because it feels like I'm going backward and not forward, help me to stop trying so hard and allow You to be my support and strength. Amen.
~ I was just feeling this way last night. I felt like I had made progress and was in forward motion and then another crisis in the family and BAM I am back to what feels like square one. But, when I got to thinking about all that I have accomplished and the fact that I got through my Mother's Day without being overly sad or depressed and I actually was living and enjoyed my time with my son and my aunt then I realized that I have grown by leaps and bounds. I felt a little guilt that I didn't cry as much as I thought I would/should/could have. It was like a double edged sword. I was sad that my cousin and her sons died, but then someone wrote that at least Joy was in heaven with her sons on Mother's day and that they all got to be with the Lord. That put a smile on my face. Plus my momma, sister, uncle Rick and Popo were there to greet them. Uncle Rick being their grandfather, I bet that was an awesome reception.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Forgiveness Leads to Freedom - Day 107
Forgiveness Leads to Freedom
Day 107
How do you know if forgiveness has taken place?
"You'll know that you are forgiven if you can let God's love flow through you to that person," says Doug Easterday. "If the person walked in, would you let that love be expressed?
"If you answered no, then forgiveness has not taken place.
"Well, he or she doesn't deserve it.' Then forgiveness has not fully taken place.
"Well, I don't know if I can.' Then forgiveness needs to go deeper. Forgiveness is like an onion; there are layers to it. The first layer of an onion is still an onion, but there is more onion underneath. Forgiveness often has layers to it. Forgiveness is not entirely complete until all the layers are gone, and then you can say, 'I can forgive, because I choose to.' When you can let the Lord flow His love through you, then you can say, 'I know that I'm walking right with God in Forgiveness.'"
When you have forgiven, you are free and released from self-induced bondage.
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15).
Father, grant me the ability to forgive and free my heart to love again. Amen.
~ I have struggled with forgiveness of my baby daddy. I didn't realize that I hadn't fully forgiven him for all that he has said or done. He was in a wreck last week. I already had lost 3 cousins and my uncle was in a car accident as well. So, this was just another reminder of how fragile life really is and it put things into perspective. It shouldn't have taken the loss of my cousin in a car accident to bring me to this, but I am enlightened. I didn't realize that under that resentment and bitterness there was a concern that I thought was gone. I thought I would be so much better off without him in our lives. Yet, when he told me about his wreck I was taken back. Not sure if it was because of the tragic losses that already occurred, but I really was sad. I started thinking about how good our friendship was before I told him I was pregnant. I started thinking about the times that he has done "right" on his weekend. I stopped thinking of the things that he has done wrong and it surprised me. I started to understand what it really means to forgive.
Day 107
How do you know if forgiveness has taken place?
"You'll know that you are forgiven if you can let God's love flow through you to that person," says Doug Easterday. "If the person walked in, would you let that love be expressed?
"If you answered no, then forgiveness has not taken place.
"Well, he or she doesn't deserve it.' Then forgiveness has not fully taken place.
"Well, I don't know if I can.' Then forgiveness needs to go deeper. Forgiveness is like an onion; there are layers to it. The first layer of an onion is still an onion, but there is more onion underneath. Forgiveness often has layers to it. Forgiveness is not entirely complete until all the layers are gone, and then you can say, 'I can forgive, because I choose to.' When you can let the Lord flow His love through you, then you can say, 'I know that I'm walking right with God in Forgiveness.'"
When you have forgiven, you are free and released from self-induced bondage.
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15).
Father, grant me the ability to forgive and free my heart to love again. Amen.
~ I have struggled with forgiveness of my baby daddy. I didn't realize that I hadn't fully forgiven him for all that he has said or done. He was in a wreck last week. I already had lost 3 cousins and my uncle was in a car accident as well. So, this was just another reminder of how fragile life really is and it put things into perspective. It shouldn't have taken the loss of my cousin in a car accident to bring me to this, but I am enlightened. I didn't realize that under that resentment and bitterness there was a concern that I thought was gone. I thought I would be so much better off without him in our lives. Yet, when he told me about his wreck I was taken back. Not sure if it was because of the tragic losses that already occurred, but I really was sad. I started thinking about how good our friendship was before I told him I was pregnant. I started thinking about the times that he has done "right" on his weekend. I stopped thinking of the things that he has done wrong and it surprised me. I started to understand what it really means to forgive.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Forgiveness Leads to Healing - Day 106
Forgiveness Leads to Healing
Day 106
Death often happens in the context of medical decisions, family choices, and reactions. The situation often attended with uncertainty and a high level of stress. Because of this it is often easy to feel unforgiveness toward some people who were involved.
"I believe that unless you are willing to forgive," says Kay Arthur, "you will not be healed."
If you truly desire to get your heart right with God and to heal, you must forgive as God has forgiven you.
"If I don't forgive, what I'm saying is that what the person did to me is more important to me than going on with God," states Doug Easterday.
Are you willing to be healed? Then "forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13).
Lord, I do want healing. Enable me to forgive. Amen.
~ This is right in line with yesterday's post. It is so so very important that I continue to work on this. I keep telling myself to deal with my back issues so that I can move forward in my path to greatness and healing. I had to get to the place where I know that I am not doing this for the other person, but for myself. I may forgive someone, but that doesn't mean that I have to forget. I do, however, have to let it go once I have forgiven. Remembering is not forgetting, but we have to make sure that we don't hold bitterness or harbor resentment in that remembering. Otherwise, we really didn't forgive the other person. It is a fine line between the two and it certainly takes someone a great deal of praying and believing to let it go. I am working on this so that I may move towards healing.
Day 106
Death often happens in the context of medical decisions, family choices, and reactions. The situation often attended with uncertainty and a high level of stress. Because of this it is often easy to feel unforgiveness toward some people who were involved.
"I believe that unless you are willing to forgive," says Kay Arthur, "you will not be healed."
If you truly desire to get your heart right with God and to heal, you must forgive as God has forgiven you.
"If I don't forgive, what I'm saying is that what the person did to me is more important to me than going on with God," states Doug Easterday.
Are you willing to be healed? Then "forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13).
Lord, I do want healing. Enable me to forgive. Amen.
~ This is right in line with yesterday's post. It is so so very important that I continue to work on this. I keep telling myself to deal with my back issues so that I can move forward in my path to greatness and healing. I had to get to the place where I know that I am not doing this for the other person, but for myself. I may forgive someone, but that doesn't mean that I have to forget. I do, however, have to let it go once I have forgiven. Remembering is not forgetting, but we have to make sure that we don't hold bitterness or harbor resentment in that remembering. Otherwise, we really didn't forgive the other person. It is a fine line between the two and it certainly takes someone a great deal of praying and believing to let it go. I am working on this so that I may move towards healing.
Choosing to Forgive - Day 105
Choosing to Forgive
Day 105
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.
"It's not really possible to say, I can't forgive. What you're really saying is, I won't forgive," says Doug Easterday. "You're the only one who can make this choice. Therefore, you have something to say about your own destiny if you choose to forgive."
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught His followers how to pray (Matthew 6:9-13). This needs to be your prayer if you are a follower of Jesus Christ. Choose to pray these words now:
"Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our deptors.
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen." (KJV)
~ AMEN! I choose to forgive. It is a matter of pride I think for us as well. We are stubborn and prideful people and this is our human side. I was taught a slightly different version of the prayer above, but the message is still the same. I often prayed it while still holding on to that unability or really the unwillingness to let go of that resentment and bitterness and forgive those that have wronged me as I have been forgiven for my wrong doings. I am so easy to ask for forgiveness, but don't easily give it and that is my fault. I have noticed this and am a work in progress. I am learning more and more each day and am so thankful for these lessons.
Day 105
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.
"It's not really possible to say, I can't forgive. What you're really saying is, I won't forgive," says Doug Easterday. "You're the only one who can make this choice. Therefore, you have something to say about your own destiny if you choose to forgive."
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught His followers how to pray (Matthew 6:9-13). This needs to be your prayer if you are a follower of Jesus Christ. Choose to pray these words now:
"Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our deptors.
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen." (KJV)
~ AMEN! I choose to forgive. It is a matter of pride I think for us as well. We are stubborn and prideful people and this is our human side. I was taught a slightly different version of the prayer above, but the message is still the same. I often prayed it while still holding on to that unability or really the unwillingness to let go of that resentment and bitterness and forgive those that have wronged me as I have been forgiven for my wrong doings. I am so easy to ask for forgiveness, but don't easily give it and that is my fault. I have noticed this and am a work in progress. I am learning more and more each day and am so thankful for these lessons.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Emotional Safety Valve #2: Forgive - Day 104
Emotional Safety Valve #2: Forgive
Day 104
Forgiveness is getting your heart right with God by making the choice to forgive others and by receiving His forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you are relieving someone of responsibility for his or her actions. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean you trust that person. Forgiveness is the act of letting God's love flow through you.
Think about the above definition for a moment.
Doug Easterday says, "You're not alleviating responsibility from anyone by forgiving them. You are transferring it to where it really belongs and that's with God. They will answer to God someday, but if you're requiring them to answer to you, then you have as big a problem as they do."
Forgiveness is obedience to God.
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sings against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times" (Matthew 18:21-22).
Lord, it is only by Your power that I can forgive. Keep me from destroying myself with unforgiveness. Amen.
~ I am working on this. I have come to realize that holding on to the hurt is only keeping me from loving in the present and having a love in the future. I made a decision that all the hurt and bitterness that I have over the actions of another have got to get out of my heart and head. So, I have decided to give it to God. I know that I can't trust those people anymore, but at the same time, I can't expect that they will ever know what they did wrong or how wrong they were. Besides, there are three sides to every story, what you think happened, what the other person thinks happened and then finally what really happened. Let it go. Give it to God. Look, shake your head, and let it GO!
Day 104
Forgiveness is getting your heart right with God by making the choice to forgive others and by receiving His forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you are relieving someone of responsibility for his or her actions. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean you trust that person. Forgiveness is the act of letting God's love flow through you.
Think about the above definition for a moment.
Doug Easterday says, "You're not alleviating responsibility from anyone by forgiving them. You are transferring it to where it really belongs and that's with God. They will answer to God someday, but if you're requiring them to answer to you, then you have as big a problem as they do."
Forgiveness is obedience to God.
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sings against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times" (Matthew 18:21-22).
Lord, it is only by Your power that I can forgive. Keep me from destroying myself with unforgiveness. Amen.
~ I am working on this. I have come to realize that holding on to the hurt is only keeping me from loving in the present and having a love in the future. I made a decision that all the hurt and bitterness that I have over the actions of another have got to get out of my heart and head. So, I have decided to give it to God. I know that I can't trust those people anymore, but at the same time, I can't expect that they will ever know what they did wrong or how wrong they were. Besides, there are three sides to every story, what you think happened, what the other person thinks happened and then finally what really happened. Let it go. Give it to God. Look, shake your head, and let it GO!
Emotional Safety Valve #1: Lift Your Fears to Jesus - Day 103
Emotional Safety Valve #1: Lift Your Fears to Jesus
Day 103
Overwhelmed by your emotions? On the verge of emotional shutdown? Feeling as if there is no future but despair? Try lifting your fears to Jesus.
"People who don't know Christ have a different perspective on this because they have no option other than despair," says Dr. Jim Conway. "They only have the option of using their own energy or other people around them to try and make this adjustment. They don't have the person of God living in them, giving them the capacity to adjust and the sense that there is a future."
You do have an option. Choose faith in the Lord Christ Jesus. Make it a habit to mentally and verbally give each emotion to Him the moment that emotion arrives. You may want to picture yourself wrapping up that emotion in a package and handing it into His loving, powerful arms to keep. Repeat this exercise as needed, and trust in God to take those burdens each time.
You can take this action because God cares for you. First Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Second Chronicles 15:7 says, "As for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded."
Lord, I am constantly tormented by these thoughts and emotions. I need to give each one to You, one at a time. Take them from me, and I will trust in You for strength and healing. Amen.
~ I was in a place where I thought that because I stopped conversation with the Lord that I wasn't going to be heard or listened to. My God isn't going to give up on me because I got mad at him for a while. He was there with me when I was angry with him for taking my sister and then my mom. I was angry at myself for shutting out the Lord as well. It is a lesson learned and NOW that I am practicing the act of giving it to God, I walk around a much more calm and happy person. I AM BLESSED!
Day 103
Overwhelmed by your emotions? On the verge of emotional shutdown? Feeling as if there is no future but despair? Try lifting your fears to Jesus.
"People who don't know Christ have a different perspective on this because they have no option other than despair," says Dr. Jim Conway. "They only have the option of using their own energy or other people around them to try and make this adjustment. They don't have the person of God living in them, giving them the capacity to adjust and the sense that there is a future."
You do have an option. Choose faith in the Lord Christ Jesus. Make it a habit to mentally and verbally give each emotion to Him the moment that emotion arrives. You may want to picture yourself wrapping up that emotion in a package and handing it into His loving, powerful arms to keep. Repeat this exercise as needed, and trust in God to take those burdens each time.
You can take this action because God cares for you. First Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Second Chronicles 15:7 says, "As for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded."
Lord, I am constantly tormented by these thoughts and emotions. I need to give each one to You, one at a time. Take them from me, and I will trust in You for strength and healing. Amen.
~ I was in a place where I thought that because I stopped conversation with the Lord that I wasn't going to be heard or listened to. My God isn't going to give up on me because I got mad at him for a while. He was there with me when I was angry with him for taking my sister and then my mom. I was angry at myself for shutting out the Lord as well. It is a lesson learned and NOW that I am practicing the act of giving it to God, I walk around a much more calm and happy person. I AM BLESSED!
Physical Symptoms - Day 102
Physical Symptoms
Day 102
Has grief impacted your body as well as your mind?
"Physical problems can run the gamut," says Dr. H. Norman Wright. "There can be stomachaches, headaches, anxiety, rapid pulse, heaviness of heart. It can affect your blood pressure. Sleep disturbances come as insomnia or sleeping ten, twelve, or fourteen hours a day. You lack energy, just plodding through the day, looking at the clock, hoping it's time to go to bed."
How you feel physically can deeply affect how you feel emotionally. So make sure that the basics are covered. Eat healthy food, exercise on a consistent basis, and get plenty of sleep.
Remember, healing is a journey you travel both physically and mentally. Face each difficulty one day at a time, one step at a time, until its completion. Counter each problem with assurance of Scripture. Remain faithful till the end, and you will be victorious over every problem that sets itself up against you during this time.
"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37).
In You, victorious Lord, I am more than a conqueror over these physical problems. Show me how to endure and to win! Amen.
~ I admit that there were times that I would sleep, wake up to feed Justice, then sleep and then wake to feed him again and then sleep. I felt like I couldn't get enough sleep and like I just wanted to sleep. He was already old enough to either play in his room or come lay down with me. I wouldn't get good sleep, as mothers know that they sleep with a listening ear and very lightly. It was imperative that I got out of that funk and decided to get out of bed and out of the apartment because laying in the dark didn't make me feel better or heal me really. It just made me more tired and exhausted mentally and physically. It was good to get up and move around. It was even better when I got my motivation back to work out.
Day 102
Has grief impacted your body as well as your mind?
"Physical problems can run the gamut," says Dr. H. Norman Wright. "There can be stomachaches, headaches, anxiety, rapid pulse, heaviness of heart. It can affect your blood pressure. Sleep disturbances come as insomnia or sleeping ten, twelve, or fourteen hours a day. You lack energy, just plodding through the day, looking at the clock, hoping it's time to go to bed."
How you feel physically can deeply affect how you feel emotionally. So make sure that the basics are covered. Eat healthy food, exercise on a consistent basis, and get plenty of sleep.
Remember, healing is a journey you travel both physically and mentally. Face each difficulty one day at a time, one step at a time, until its completion. Counter each problem with assurance of Scripture. Remain faithful till the end, and you will be victorious over every problem that sets itself up against you during this time.
"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37).
In You, victorious Lord, I am more than a conqueror over these physical problems. Show me how to endure and to win! Amen.
~ I admit that there were times that I would sleep, wake up to feed Justice, then sleep and then wake to feed him again and then sleep. I felt like I couldn't get enough sleep and like I just wanted to sleep. He was already old enough to either play in his room or come lay down with me. I wouldn't get good sleep, as mothers know that they sleep with a listening ear and very lightly. It was imperative that I got out of that funk and decided to get out of bed and out of the apartment because laying in the dark didn't make me feel better or heal me really. It just made me more tired and exhausted mentally and physically. It was good to get up and move around. It was even better when I got my motivation back to work out.
Friday, May 3, 2013
False Guilt: Satan's Lies - Day 101
False Guilt: Satan's Lies
Day 101
"Yes, Satan knows when to come. He lays it on you," explained Dr. E. V. Hill. "I just want you to know it's not of God; it's the devil. God isn't punishing you at all. The devil's doing that."
The guilt and blame you hear echoing in your head is Satan lying to you. Understand and believe this.
Dr. Hill said, "So watch the fact that it's not the voice of the Holy Spirit. It's the visitation of the devil. Rebuke it as such. Stick with your faith in God no matter how it hurts. And God has a great reward for you."
When guilt rears its head, stay focused on the truth and do not be deceived by lies.
"He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44).
Holy Spirit of God, teach me to recognize Your voice and to follow it with assurance. Amen.
Day 101
"Yes, Satan knows when to come. He lays it on you," explained Dr. E. V. Hill. "I just want you to know it's not of God; it's the devil. God isn't punishing you at all. The devil's doing that."
The guilt and blame you hear echoing in your head is Satan lying to you. Understand and believe this.
Dr. Hill said, "So watch the fact that it's not the voice of the Holy Spirit. It's the visitation of the devil. Rebuke it as such. Stick with your faith in God no matter how it hurts. And God has a great reward for you."
When guilt rears its head, stay focused on the truth and do not be deceived by lies.
"He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44).
Holy Spirit of God, teach me to recognize Your voice and to follow it with assurance. Amen.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Doubting God's Goodness - Day 100
Doubting God's Goodness
Day 100
Is God truly good? What does it mean to you personally that God is good?
Dr. Larry Crabb says, "When you see a child suffer, when the doctor says certain things to you, you really wonder if God is good.
"'God, where are You? If You're good, then it seems to me that things should work out like this -,' and I impose my definition of good on God. And I say, 'This is what the word good means: It means that I won't get cancer again. It means my wife won't die prematurely. It means my kids will be healthy and make enough money to pay the bills.'
"When I look at God ad say, 'You're not cooperating with my definition of good, the natural consequence is not trust, not worship. It's idolatry. I'm going to find some other god that agrees with my definition of good. Satan comes along and basically says, 'I'll arrange for what you want.' And you'll have certain pleasures for a season, and then it'll be awful."
It is not God's intention to give us everything we want. Getting what we want is not the key to happiness, peace, or contentment. Since we cannot see the full picture and do not have all the facts, our judgment is skewed. God would not be God if He could not see all things and judge all situations for the ultimate good.
God's word is absolute truth; don't let your doubts get in the way of His perfect plan.
"You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10).
Most Holy God, my limited view is getting in the way of truth. Even when I don't feel it, help me to know without a doubt Your goodness and faithfulness to me. Amen.
~ I know it doesn't always feel this way. I know that I have questioned it myself. The first thing I said in grief class was "I was doing what I was supposed to do as a Catholic. I was going to church. I was praying. I repented. What did I do wrong????"
Day 100
Is God truly good? What does it mean to you personally that God is good?
Dr. Larry Crabb says, "When you see a child suffer, when the doctor says certain things to you, you really wonder if God is good.
"'God, where are You? If You're good, then it seems to me that things should work out like this -,' and I impose my definition of good on God. And I say, 'This is what the word good means: It means that I won't get cancer again. It means my wife won't die prematurely. It means my kids will be healthy and make enough money to pay the bills.'
"When I look at God ad say, 'You're not cooperating with my definition of good, the natural consequence is not trust, not worship. It's idolatry. I'm going to find some other god that agrees with my definition of good. Satan comes along and basically says, 'I'll arrange for what you want.' And you'll have certain pleasures for a season, and then it'll be awful."
It is not God's intention to give us everything we want. Getting what we want is not the key to happiness, peace, or contentment. Since we cannot see the full picture and do not have all the facts, our judgment is skewed. God would not be God if He could not see all things and judge all situations for the ultimate good.
God's word is absolute truth; don't let your doubts get in the way of His perfect plan.
"You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10).
Most Holy God, my limited view is getting in the way of truth. Even when I don't feel it, help me to know without a doubt Your goodness and faithfulness to me. Amen.
~ I know it doesn't always feel this way. I know that I have questioned it myself. The first thing I said in grief class was "I was doing what I was supposed to do as a Catholic. I was going to church. I was praying. I repented. What did I do wrong????"
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Express Your Emotions Freely - Day 99
Express Your Emotions Freely
Day 99
The grieving customs in ancient Israel involved a great deal of free expression, especially compared to today's culture.
After King Saul, his son, and Israel's army were defeated, "David and all the men with him took hold of their clothes and tore them. They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the arm of the LORD and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword" (2 Samuel 1:11-12).
First of all, David and all the men mourned their losses together as a group. "Group grieving" is an effective tool for the journey, but in today's culture it is something that you must seek out, usually in the form of a support group.
The second action of David and his men was to take hold of their clothes and tear them. They released their energy in a way that was physical, yet not harmful.
Lastly, and still as a group, they "mourned and wept and fasted till evening." In their culture they were free to openly express and share their grieving emotions, and they were expected to do so.
Think of the forms of mourning that you are engaged in. How does it compare to the mourning of David and his men? You can learn from the past and be a part of an improved future.
Glorious Lord, I want to express my emotions freely, actively, and without embarrassment. Amen.
~ AMEN! I often feel like I am being a big baby when I freely express my emotions. There are times when I am ambushed and the tears just flow. I can't help it. It means that I still have hurt that I need to work through. It isn't a sign of weakness, it just means that I so loved my sister and my mom that it still hurts like it was yesterday that they died. I get teary-eyed just writing this now. I miss them so very much. I miss their voices and my mom's touch. I miss hearing my sister's laugh and my mom's cray sayings.
Day 99
The grieving customs in ancient Israel involved a great deal of free expression, especially compared to today's culture.
After King Saul, his son, and Israel's army were defeated, "David and all the men with him took hold of their clothes and tore them. They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the arm of the LORD and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword" (2 Samuel 1:11-12).
First of all, David and all the men mourned their losses together as a group. "Group grieving" is an effective tool for the journey, but in today's culture it is something that you must seek out, usually in the form of a support group.
The second action of David and his men was to take hold of their clothes and tear them. They released their energy in a way that was physical, yet not harmful.
Lastly, and still as a group, they "mourned and wept and fasted till evening." In their culture they were free to openly express and share their grieving emotions, and they were expected to do so.
Think of the forms of mourning that you are engaged in. How does it compare to the mourning of David and his men? You can learn from the past and be a part of an improved future.
Glorious Lord, I want to express my emotions freely, actively, and without embarrassment. Amen.
~ AMEN! I often feel like I am being a big baby when I freely express my emotions. There are times when I am ambushed and the tears just flow. I can't help it. It means that I still have hurt that I need to work through. It isn't a sign of weakness, it just means that I so loved my sister and my mom that it still hurts like it was yesterday that they died. I get teary-eyed just writing this now. I miss them so very much. I miss their voices and my mom's touch. I miss hearing my sister's laugh and my mom's cray sayings.
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