Bad Grief – Day 224

Bad Grief

Day 224

Grief is a process. A process is a series of actions and gradual changes that one progresses through. The grieving process involves forward movement – going from one emotion, one level, one day to the next.

There is such a thing as good grief. It involves identifying the loss, recognizing the grieving process, accepting that life will never be the same, and continuing forward on the journey. There is also bad grief: continually thinking about the person that died and refusing to let him or her go.

“Let me give you an example of bad grief,” says Dr. Erwin Lutzer. “Here’s a woman whose husband has been dead for fifteen years, and she will not touch his study, but leaves it exactly as he left it, fearing that if she were to touch it or sell the books, it would be a sign of dishonor and disrespect.

“Let me give you another example of bad grief. A woman convinced her husband to go to a concert that he didn’t want to go to. So they go to this concert, and he’s killed in a car accident. For fourteen years she goes to his grave every single morning, bemoaning the fact that she convinced him to go to something that he didn’t want to go to. That grief is not of God. That is bad grief.”

Grief that is not of God will not bring healing and peace. Humble yourself before God, and seek His forgiveness if you have a preoccupation with your lost loved one and have refused to let him or her go.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).

Holy God, it is hard to let go. Forgive me for holding on so tightly. Help me to release my feelings and fears and to look for Your ray of sunshine each day. Amen.