Your Emotions - Day 58

Your Emotions
Day 58

Your emotions can be intense, draining, and hard to hold back; they are tangled up inside of you and run deep.

Everyone goes through some unexpected emotions, and it helps for you to identify and sort out the emotions that apply to you. This is part of the healing process.

Which emotions describe what you are feeling?
denial, rage, loneliness, rejection, confusion, helplessness, guilt, anxiety, disappointment,
anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy, inadequacy, vindictiveness, fear, envy, depression,
pain, dread, bitterness, loss, anguish, dismay, sorrow, betrayal, abandonment, apathy,
distrust, lack of control

Jesus can identify with your sorrows.

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not." (Isaiah 53:3).

Lord Jesus, You alone know my suffering and pain. Please sort through these emotions with me. Amen.

~ I did this very exercise in class a couple of weeks ago. Below are scans of the question and then what came to me while I was watching the video and the answers/questions just flowed. It was liberating. Freeing even.

I cried when I did this. I didn't realize I was still feeling so very much. Anger was the one I circled first and it hurt me.

This is about as raw and open as it gets. My very own writing and emotions in the raw. 

I figure if I am going to tell people that I am working it and through it, it is best to share that I really really am. It is scary to know what we hold on to in fear of repercussion or just having someone else know what our deepest feelings are. It really is sad that we really put weight to what other people think about us when the only one that is allowed to judge us is God.

Healthy Grieving: Step Seven - Day 57

Healthy Grieving: Step Seven
Day 57

Trust God and cling to Him. Bring all your questions and feelings honestly to Him. Appeal to Him; cry to Him; yell at Him; confess to Him and then sit back in His arms and trust.

"Why not trust Him? What do you have to lose?" says Heidi, whose husband died. "If you are already in a situation that seems hopeless and you trust in Him and He doesn't come through for you, then you haven't lost anything. But if you truly trust in God, He is going to come through for you because He loves you so much. At least give Him the opportunity to prove Himself in your life."

The Lord Jesus Christ will prove Himself true and faithful if you will just let Him.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Lord, You are the only one who will never let me down. You have promised never to pull away from me or forsake me. I put my trust in You, holy God. Amen.

~ I feel like this is where I am. I have yelled and screamed. I have cried and it seems that I prayed just enough that I am feeling a calm over me. It is a peace that I have been praying for. Grace even.

Healthy Grieving: Step Six - Day 56

Healthy Grieving: Step Six
Day 56

"Sometimes the best remedy for grief is finding some way to touch somebody else's life," say Dr. Larry Crabb.

Maybe it's time to change the focus of your thoughts from yourself to other people. Open your eyes to the needs around you. Through your experience you have developed new character traits and knowledge, and you have received encouragement and consolation with which you, in turn, can comfort others. Quiet yourself before God and listen for His still, small voice within you. He will direct you to where you are needed.

Holy Lord, in the words of David I pray to you: "Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long" (Psalm 25:4-5). Amen.

~ I feel like this quite often. I feel like there is someone out there that can benefit from the journey I am on and the path that I have already taken. I suppose part of me has always wanted to help others and felt a calling towards it. I am not sure what my calling is in regards to helping others, I just know that I am open and listening for that call to help.

Healthy Grieving: Step Five - Day 55

Healthy Grieving: Step Five
Day 55

Commit to the journey, long or short, that leads back into living life.

"People who handle grief in a most healthy way are those who are willing to admit, 'This hurts. I don't particularly like it, but I really want to go on,'" says Pastor Buck Buchanan.

God will reward your sincere willingness to commit to the journey and to press on.

"Not that I have already obtained it, or have already become perfect, but I press on in order that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:12-14 NASB).

Holy Spirit, I commit myself to Your care as I move forward toward life, Your abundant life. Amen.

~ It is such a blessing to see that I am on the right path. That the path I have come is leading me in the right direction. I feel like I have committed to the journey and press on. It wasn't an easy decision, but the decision to not be miserable anymore wasn't a hard one. I just decided that there had to be a better way to live through my losses and with grief share and God in my corner, I think I am truly succeeding and progressing.

Healthy Grieving: Step Four - Day 54

Healthy Grieving: Step Four
Day 54

The fourth step in healthy grieving is to tell your story to others. Give someone an honest account of your loss.

"Grieving means talking about what you're going through in the presence of some other people and letting them react to you," says Dr. Jim Conway.

So how do you find the right people to share with? First consider your family members. Then consider sharing with members of a grief recovery group. If these options are not good for you, as mentioned previously, try to find someone in your church or neighborhood who has experienced a loss similar to yours. If you tell him or her that you need someone to talk to, that person will likely be glad to meet with you.

It may seem easier and more desirable to keep your words, thoughts and emotions inside and to busy yourself with work and activities to help you forget. But that forgetfulness is short-lived and ultimately ineffective. True healing will only occur when you slow down and let grief run its course.

"Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles" (Philippians 4:14).

Lord Jesus, You know what is best for me much more than I ever will. Open my heart and my mouth and enable me to share my story with others. Amen.

~ I think I have done this with my sharing in the beginning of this blog. I also shared this loss on my weight loss page. It was easier for me to express it in writing than to talk about it out loud. I think I've had enough practice now that I don't want to cry each time I talk about them. I think that is called progress.

Healthy Grieving: Step Three - Day 53

Healthy Grieving: Step Three
Day 53

The third step in the healthy grieving process is so simple, yet so important; it is to feel free to grieve in your own way. Other people may criticize or make comments about your grieving or the amount of time it is taking you. Realize that your grief is unique. If you are honest with yourself, then you don't need to worry about what others are saying.

Heidi, who lost her husband, says, "One thing that really upset me was when some people said, 'You need to get on with your life. You need to get over the grieving process.' I felt they were wrong because they had never been through this. How could they say that?"

You have to go through the grieving process. Turn to God when you are anxious, uncertain, or frustrated about your grief and about what other people are saying.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Father, in my hurt and confusion I come to You. Hold me close and fill me with that indescribable peace. Amen.

~ I feel like Heidi. I have already heard that I need to move on and that I need to let it go. I have also heard that my mom and sister wouldn't want me to be hurting and crying. This may be true, but it isn't that I want to be grieving, just that I haven't gone through it like I need to. I am finding an understanding through the process and I am able to understand my feelings more now that I am working through it. I am sure if they knew the words that come in to my head or knew the anger I was holding before they would have told me I needed therapy. NO, I didn't need therapy, I needed to work through my grief emotions and get it out of my heart and head and go through it. It isn't something to be fixed with a drug because when the drug is gone, it will still be there and it will just be later in life, but I would still have to go through it. Which is why it has been 3 years and I am just now working through it. I was numbed by depression medicine for 2 years. I think my weight loss surgery was more of a blessing than just for my physical health. I think it allowed me to work on my spiritual and emotional health as well. Had it not been for having to get off the medicine for the surgery, I wouldn't have gotten off the medicine period. They weren't working right and they were just tedious to remember to take. I think that it really was just time. Time to begin to live again. Breathe again. Love again.

Healthy Grieving: Step Two - Day 52

Healthy Grieving: Step Two
Day 52

You have already acknowledged that you are grieving, and you have attempted to understand grief. The next step in healthy grieving is to allow your needs to be recognized by others. To apply this step, you must first recognize these needs for yourself.

Identify your needs right now - physical, emotional, and spiritual. Jot them down on a piece of paper.

Next comes the more difficult part. Let others know your needs, and allow people to help you in a concrete way.

"Grief is not just something you work through on your own," says Dr. Jim Conway. "Most people need outside help because the thing that accomplishes the resolution is talked to somebody. You can accomplish some things on your own, but a support group will be beneficial."

God promises to supply the help that you need, and He will be sure to send the right people. But first you must turn to Jesus and ask for His help.

"Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

Lord God, I have so many needs, and I am tired of trying to be in control. Help me relinquish my needs to You and to others. Amen.

~ Hmmm, what do I need?
I need a hug on most days, but some days I just need to be left alone.
I need to cry, yet I am tired of crying. I need to scream, but don't want to scare my kid or the people in the next car because the car seems to be the safest place to get that loud scream out.
I need my cup to be filled. I am working on this. My cup feels empty when it comes to the Word and this is something that I am steadily working on. I get some word as I do these posts and it so far seems to help. Next step is to get the bible and when I have no words, just open to the book of Psalms and just read. If I can make time to watch tv, I certainly can make time to read the good book.
I just need to pray.