The God of Hope - Day 275

The God of Hope
Day 275

One of the consistent testimonies in Scripture is that faith can grow strong during the darkest times of adversity. It is during those darkest moments that you come to know personally that your Lord is the God of hope.

"One thing about being in grief is that your sorrow is certain, and your loss is so real you literally taste it to the depth of your being," says Dr. Joseph Stowell. "You have to have a certainty that is bigger than the certainty of your sorrow.

"That is why you must train yourself in biblical hope where you are absolutely convinced that God is and that He has a world to come for you and that on the other side everything will be okay. That certainty has to be bigger than the certainty of your sorrows."

Ideally, this biblical training should come before times of adversity, so you can be at least somewhat prepared to face it. But if you are not absolutely sure that God is everything He says He is, then tell Him your doubts and confusion. Study the Bible to learn more about Him. We suggest that you being reading the book of John or Mark.

If you are sure that Christ Jesus is your only secure hope for life, and life after death, then praise His name, and seek to know Him more fully.

"Praise be to the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade-kept in heaven for you" (1 Peter 1:3-4).

Jesus, I am certain to the depth of my being that You are the living God and that everything will be okay through You. Amen. 

Rejoice in Suffering? - Day 274

Rejoice in Suffering?
Day 274

In the Bible the apostle Paul says that you should rejoice in your suffering. This advice sounds incredible, especially when you are in the midst of pain.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because god has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 5:3-5).

After looking closer at Paul's words, you will realize that he is not saying to be glad about what happened, not at all! He tells you that you are to use your suffering as a time of personal growth in which you ultimately experience an outpouring of God's love into your heart.

Dr. Ray Pritchard says, "Christians who most deeply experience the love of God are those who have not fought against God at the point of their suffering, but they've said, 'Lord, I don't understand. God, this doesn't make any sense. I wish this would go away, but, Lord, I'm going to cooperate with You. I'm going to walk with You through this.'

"Through that, God gives them perseverance; He develops character; character becomes hope, and in the end, their hearts are soft, and then they experience the love of God."

Lord, I'm not happy with this, but I will make the best of it. Pour out Your Spirit on me, and give me perseverance, character, and hope. Lord, I sure need hope. Amen. 

Growing Spiritually - Day 273

Growing Spiritually
Day 273

"The death of my parents was a wake-up call of my own spiritual life," admits Dr. Robert Jeffress. "I had wandered away from the Lord and nobody knew it; I was a pastor, a staff member of the church. But in my heart I had wandered away from the Lord. God used that experience as a wake-up call for me.

"I think the process of losing loved ones can be a healthy experience if you allow God to use you and mold that experience in your life to strengthen your relationship with Him."

One of the most vital changes that grieving can produce in you is spiritual growth. It is possible to grow more in a year of grieving than in several years of life with few difficulties or problems.

One extremely effective way to pray is to use words from the Bible. Make Colossians 1:9-12 a personal prayer by replacing the pronouns with "I" and "me" as you pray:

"[I] have not stopped praying ... and asking God to fill [me] with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And [I] pray this in order that [I] may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that [I] may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified [me] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light." Amen.

Family Becomes More Important - Day 272

Family Becomes More Important
Day 272

Sometimes your newly awakened compassion finds expression in your own family. Often it takes a death to bring a family closer together and to remind each one how important family relationships are.

"It's an awareness that I've got to make the most of my time; it might be my last moment. I have a sense of appreciation for that, a kind of cutting-edge understanding of the preciousness of the moment," says Bruce Marchiano.

Perhaps your family has splits and contentions. Now is the time to take the needed steps to settle differences and mend hearts. With the enabling power of the Holy Spirit behind you, your family's healing can start with you. Pray about this.

"Jesus ... said, 'Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you'" (Mark 5:19).

Healing Father, my family is precious and unique. Any rifts between us can be healed, but only by Your power. Give me the words to say to bring my family close together. Amen. 

Hearts of Compassion - Day 271

Hearts of Compassion
Day 271

Jeffrey and Wendy's infant son died. They share how this tragic experience has given them hearts of compassion for other people in grief:

Wendy says, "I can have much more compassion for others because I know how hard it was. I know that sick feeling in the pit of your heart that you think is never going to go away. I had that same feeling for so long."

Jeffrey shares, "It's made me have a lot more compassion for others because now I can look at them and the emotions come back. I know that some people want to be left alone in grief and some people want to talk in grief, and the Lord has just given me a heart to be able to distinguish between the two."

You may be in a situation in which you feel you have not received any compassion for yourself and almost begrudge the thought of trying to help others. God has compassion for you, and He never withholds it. He loves you deeply.

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! (Isaiah 30:18).

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion for you" (Isaiah 54:10).

Lord God, Your unfailing love and compassion for me are amazing. Even when I rail against You, You love me just as much. Show me how to have Your compassion for others. Amen. 

Catalyst for Personal Growth - Day 270

Catalyst for Personal Growth
Day 270

"When you  are down in the valley, that is where you are going to grow because that is where the fertilizer is," says Barbara Johnson. "That's where you have to seek out God's help."

In what ways have you grown as a result of your experience? Perhaps your compassion has been strengthened. Maybe you are slower to place judgement on other people who are going through trials. You might be more willing to approach people who seem down or troubled. Decide how you can be a better person today as a result of your time "in the valley."

"He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit" (Jeremiah 17:8).

Holy God, I will plant myself near You and trust You to bring out the good in me. Amen. 

Principles for Living - Day 269

Principles for Living
Day 269

The Bible says there are powerful principles for living that can be learned through grief and loss.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation ... " (Philippians 4:12).

Unfailing strength is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4:16018 NLT).

Sharpen your focus on the things in life that have lasting value, and contemplate your eternal life, being certain about where you will it.

Saving Jesus, my strength, my hope, and my joy are rooted in You. I want to live with You forever in heaven. Amen. 

Life's Lessons - Day 268

Life's Lessons
Day 268

One important part of healthy grieving is to learn life's lessons through your loss. Webster's Dictionary defines learn as "to get knowledge of or skill in by study, experience, etc."

You have certainly had an experience; now step back and study it for a moment.

What have you come to understand about yourself and others? What knowledge have you gained? Some examples might be compassion, kindness, sympathy, or mercy. Practical applications might include knowing how to provide assistance to others in grief knowing what to say and what not to say to them.

Dr. Robert Abarno says, "It puts you in a qualified position to relate to the person who is suffering. It's not as though you are telling someone something that you've not experienced. It's a great opportunity."

Now that you have the qualifications, you can effectively help others. Remember, this step is part of your grieving process.

"Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God" (2 Corinthians 1:2-4).

Lord Jesus, reveal to me what I have learned through this experience and give me an opportunity to use it. Amen. 

Continue Learning - Day 267

Continue Learning
Day 267

"I learned lessons that I keep learning over and over," says Janet Paschal, whose grandfather passed away.

Some of life's lessons need to be learned several times, not just once. But each time, you will learn them in a deeper way.

Dr. David Olford states: "That's [God's] purpose of allowing a lot of things to come into your life -- to shape you and to mold you and to purify you. At the same time, there's not only a purpose of God; there's His power to enable you to go through and to shield you and to guard you and to keep you."

Take a moment to consider what lessons you have learned as a result of your grief experience. These are lessons for your good, not lessons about what you should not have done. What good have you learned?

"I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw" (Proverbs 24:32).

"who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time (1 Peter 1:5).

Holy God, I pray that something good can come out of this situation in my life. Help me to see this, and please take down any barriers that block my view. Amen. 

Make Life Count - Day 266

Make Life Count 
Day 266

Grief reminds you that you only have one life to live, and you need to make it count.

"There are some things in life that we put too much emphasis on that really aren't important at all. Family is so important, and too often we take everybody for granted," says Heidi, whose husband passed away.

"With the Lord we too often put Him down a bit on our priority list because 'I have to be these things; I have to accumulate this; I have to get this;' or 'I have to work through this problem.' So often we leave Him out."

What does it mean to truly live? According to the Bible: "To live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21).

Embrace this truth in order to live a life that really counts.

Pray this prayer of Heidi's: "God, I can't leave You out because You're the main source of my life, and without You I am nothing." Amen.

Certain of Eternity - Day 265

Certain of Eternity
Day 265

You have heard the cliche "Life is short," but the words do not impact you until you experience the death of a loved one.

"My mom was fifty-six years old when she was diagnosed with colon cancer," says Dr. Robert Jeffress. "The doctor said, 'You have four months to live.' Because she was a noted personality in Dallas, Texas, several TV stations came out to interview her before her death. They said to her, 'Mrs. Jeffress, how does it feel to know that your case is terminal, that you are going to die?'

"This is what my mom said on that interview: 'We're all terminal. The only difference is some of us realize it and some of us don't.'"

You understand the hard truth of that so-called cliche. What will you do with this knowledge? Yes, life on earth is short, but life beyond the grave lasts forever. Be certain of your own eternal destination.

"He who believes in the Son [Jesus] has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him" (John 3:36 NASB).

Lord Jesus, You are my Lord and Savior. Forgive me for my sins and failures. I yield control of my life to You. Teach me how to live for You. Amen.

Set Apart Through Grief - Day 264

Set Apart Through Grief
Day 264

Many people become wiser, more humane, more compassionate, more fully human after experiencing grief. In this way, grief sets you apart. People who have gone through it are different.

"It will change you," says Sylvia, whose parents died. "You will do a 180-degree turn. When you go to a funeral home, from then on you will know what those people are going through; you'll know what you can do to help them.

"Before that, I would go shake hands, go to the line and say, 'I'm sorry.' And I didn't understand. But after you've lost a loved one, you have a totally different concept of what they're going through. I think you can be a better minister, and I think God gives you some of these things to use in your own personal ministry. So it will change you."

Change is difficult, and all people experience change throughout their lives. God, though, remains the same - a solid refuge and fortress.

"I the Lord do not change" (Malachi 3:6).

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8).

Sovereign God, You never change. I can put my anchor in You and know I will remain secure. Lord, I want You to be the foundation of my life so that I will make it through life's difficult times. Amen. 

Open to Change - Day 263

Open to Change
Day 263

Grief places you in a vulnerable position where change is daily and inevitable. Change can be threatening, and it is your nature to resist it. But your greatest opportunity for change can happen during times that are emotionally intense, and the death of a friend or loved one can open you up to new depths of spiritual experience.

Heidi, a widow, says, "People would say to me, 'Heidi, I just wish I had some of your strength.' And one of the things that I would say to them was, 'If you've gone through the situations in your life like I have, then you would have the strength that I have.' I've experienced a lot of things in my walk with God that have strengthened me. I think because I know who God is and I know His faithfulness in my life, I was able to say that this is not going to knock me down. This is a hard thing, but I have to trust in God."

You have the opportunity to experience unparalleled spiritual growth.

"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13 NASB).

Lord, I want to be a willing student of You and Your Word. Show me how. Amen. 

God Uses Low Places - Day 262

God Uses Low Places
Day 262

There are some lessons in life that you only learn through times of grief or suffering. This is why it is important that you do not waste your sorrows. Times of suffering show you your limitations and how needy you really are.

Dr. Larry Crabb shares his initial reaction to the news of his brother's death: "I can outside and I remember my wife was waiting for me out in the car, and as I came out, I just stood there and said, 'Bill's dead.' It was just a very, very strong moment. But as I recall that moment, I think my first internal deep reaction was not despair. I think my first reaction at that moment was I must find God as I have never found Him before or I'm not going to make it."

People are needy. The world wants you to be tough, strong, and independent. God wants you to lean on Him. God's way is right and wise. Depend on Him as you have never done before, and you will find true peace and power that can never be achieved on your own.

"Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed,' he said. 'Peace! Be strong now; be strong.' When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said 'Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength'" (Daniel 10:19).

"Then he continued, 'Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them'" (Daniel 10:12).

Holy God, I come humbly before You. I seek strength, understanding, and true knowledge of You. Show Yourself to me, O Lord. Amen. 

What Really Matters? - Day 261

What Really Matters?
Day 261

Grief has a way of shaping you and turning your attention away from the busyness of life to what really matters. People in today's fast-paced culture do not stop long enough to contemplate the significant questions of life.

What is important in life?

Look at the big picture. Your life on earth encompasses a short time frame when compared to eternal life. You are an eternal being. You are made to live forever. Keep this in perspective.

So the question best asked is, what is important in this life that will extend into eternity?

Dr. Joseph Stowell emphasizes the importance of living today in light of the world to come: "When you really embrace the world to come and bring it back into the world of your own life, everything is radically rearranged. One of the things that is rearranged is your values. For instance, this world tends to value self, tends to value things, and tends to value accomplishment and personal success.

"When you're really committed to the world to come and understand the depth and importance of it, you being to value other things -- like people. People are the only things going on to eternity. So I tend to value my children differently; I tend to value my neighbors differently; I tend to see the people I work with differently. I see them in light of their own eternal destiny."

Do not be uninformed about life's significance.

"It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart" (Ecclesiastes 7:2).

Living God, teach me to open my heart and embrace the knowledge that life after death is an important reality that must be acknowledged in my daily life. Help me to live my life in light of my eternity. Amen. 

Greater Compassion for Others - Day 260

Greater Compassion for Others
Day 260

It is amazing how grief enables people to relate to one another at a deeper level than before. Until you've experienced grief, you cannot empathize with someone else who is going through it. During your healing process, you may find yourself becoming more sensitive to the hurts and needs of others.

"Sometimes I can't even recognize the person I was before," says Dora, who lost a child. "I think that my ability to empathize or have compassion has been strengthened. I'm not so quick to place judgement on a situation or on a person. What may appear on the outside to be one way, may be a completely different story on the inside."

You know what grief feels like. You know what it's like to disguise your feelings as you go about your daily tasks, keeping a stoic face as you relate to people at work, in the community, or at church.

Use your experience and knowledge of grief to help others. You are the one who realizes that everyone has deep fears and griefs on their own. What act of kindness or compassion will best help those you come in contact with today?

God asks you to follow Jesus' example of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. Follow His example daily.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).

Lord God, let me not make assumptions about the people I meet today; instead, guide me to pass along Your kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. Amen. 

Adversity: Unlock the Doors - Day 259

Adversity: Unlock the Doors
Day 259

A Christian's troubles advance God's purposes, purposes only He can fully understand. As a human, you try so hard to understand. But if God could be fully understood, where's the power and sovereignty in that? What would make Him any different than just another smart human? He is above all; His ways are so perfect that a mere human could not possibly understand on this side of heaven. This is why you can place your absolute trust and your life in Him, despite the pain and the heartache.

Because He is the God above all, when you get to heaven and see the world from His point of view, you will be astounded by the perfection of His loving plan.

Dr. Richard Bewes says, "The world outside doesn't understand that. The world outside tends to see adversity as a dead end. We don't, not in the Christian church. Christians see it as a gateway to progress, to advancement with the knowledge of God, to the very kingdom of God itself."

Reach through the pain to grasp hold of the knowledge of God.

"So that no one would be disturbed by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we have been destined for this" (Thessalonians 3:3 NASB).

"Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of the God" (Acts 14:22 NASB).

God, I reach past the oppression of this world and cling to You. You are the almighty sovereign Lord. Amen.

Self-Sufficiency - Day 258

Self-Sufficiency
Day 258

When life is comfortable, you lose that awe, that fear of God, putting Him in a compartment that is convenient for you. When things are going well, you might put God on the back burner because you don't exactly need Him at the time.

"Self-sufficiency is a terrible place to be," says Dr. Joseph Stowell, "because it is the worst deceit you can bring on yourself. You need God. You need God every minute of your life. I believe God knows that, and He desires fellowship and dependency from you, radical dependency in terms of your relationship with Him."

Each person needs to be taken to a place where God alone is sufficient. Suffering takes you to that place. And suffering does not happen to some people and not to others; it is a crucial part of every person's life.

"Consider what God had done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked? When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other." (Ecclesiastes 7:13-14).

God, I need You. Please heal me. Amen.

Surrender to the Suffering - Day 257

Surrender to the Suffering
Day 257

"Sometimes when you're hurting and you're suffering, all you think about is getting out of it," says Anne Graham Lotz. "Your prayers are all geared to "Lord, deliver me. Get me out of this."

Stop fighting the suffering, and submit to God's will for it. God has a purpose for you right now, based on all that you have experienced up to this moment. Wait patiently on God, and continually seek His will for you.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us" (Romans 8:18 NASB).

Lord, I surrender to the suffering. What do You want me to do? I give the glory to You. Amen. 

He Gives Himself - Day 256

He Gives Himself
Day 256

Healing is not about doing better or being stronger or going to church more. It is about experiencing a love that will never let you go.

Joni Eareckson Tada says, "Your deepest need when you are hurting is to have God, like a Daddy, reach down and pick you up and hold you and reassure you that everything is going to be okay. He lets you know that your life is not in nightmarish chaos, your world is not splitting apart at the seems. Somehow and somewhere there is order and stability to it all. And that's why God never gives advice; He gives Himself."

Let go of the shreds of your life you have been hanging on to and embrace God.

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling" (Psalm 68:5).

"You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more" (Psalm 10:17-18).

Heavenly Father, hold me in Your arms and comfort me. Reassure me that everything is going to be okay. Amen. 

Giving Thanks - Day 255

Giving Thanks
Day 255

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NASB).

This Bible verse is sometimes misconstrued. It doesn't say to give thanks for all situations, but in all situations -- big difference.

When you seek God in prayer and through His Word, you learn about His attributes, and you come to know His complete love and faithfulness and rise above the situation as you see it. Here is where you are truly thankful.

According to Dr. Bill Bright, "His ways are so far beyond your ways, you can't even comprehend; therefore, when problems arise you can say, 'God loves me. Nothing happens to me that is not filtered through His love; therefore, by faith on the authority of God's Word and what I know about God, I can say all things that happen to me are for my good and for God's glory.' God makes no mistakes. God honors your expression of faith when you say 'thank you' through your tears with broken hearts. When you trust Him, He turns tragedy to triumph. That is where you learn."

Lord, thank you for Your faithfulness to me and Your patience with me. Thank you that You are in control. Amen. 

Feeling Guilty About Being Happy - Day 254

Feeling Guilty About Being Happy
Day 254

Guilt is subtle and insidious.

Guilt whispers that you should continually grieve and that it would be wrong for you to enjoy life even just a little. It will perch on your shoulder and chant, "You should feel good about feeling bad. This is your life. This is your lot." The reality, however, is that you should enjoy life more fully because you have grieved.

"Finally the day does come when you do begin to feel better," says Dr. Ray Pritchard. "That is the grace of God. Then you being to feel guilty. That is normal too. Don't give in to that feeling of guilt."

Thank God for His saving grace. Then immerse yourself in God's Word and use it to strike down guilt when it starts whispering in your ear.

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12).

Lord Jesus, sometimes I feel like I'm betraying my loved one because I'm starting to feel better. Help me to truly understand how wrong these thoughts are, and help me to stand firm in the power of Your Word. Amen. 

What It Means to Move On - Day 253

What It Means to Move On
Day 253

Moving on does not mean ...

• you forget the person. 
• you never feel the pain of your loss.
• you believe that life is fair. 

Moving on does mean ...

• you experience a lessening of the pain.
• you can treasure your best memories of the person who has died. 
• you can realistically accept the different aspects of your loss. 
• you can form new relationships, try new things. 

Moving on also means ...

• you grow in grace and in your walk with God. 
• you accept your loss and forgive others. 
• you understand that both joy and loss are a part of life. 
• you believe that God is good, even when life isn't. 

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete" (John 15:11).

Holy God, sometimes moving on seems impossible. Continue to remind me that I cannot move on through my own strength, but only through an extension of Yours. Amen. 

The Benefits of Moving On - Day 252

The Benefits of Moving On
Day 252

Although moving on involves making some hard decisions, there are great rewards to the person who dares to make those decisions.

"I never thought I would ever be normal again. But the pain eased eventually, and I got back into my life," says Nancy, who lost her husband.

Dare to move on.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1).

Righteous God, I will run this race with Your help. Amen. 

Helping Others Helps You - Day 251

Helping Others Helps You
Day 251

Nancy, whose husband died, says, "It's a slow process of actually getting back into the swing. It will never be the same as it was before, and you have got to accept that.

"But there are so many things that the Lord opens up to the person who is open to receive it that the sadness will go into the background a little bit. When you help others, you forget about yourself."

What can you do to help another person today? Brainstorm some ideas on a piece of paper. Here are some suggestions: baking, watching children, doing minor home repairs, vising a local rest home, helping at an animal shelter, preparing a meal for a sick or busy mother, or helping teachers and students at a local school. Who could use your helping hand?

God has blessed you with a particular gift. It may not be any of those listed above, but be assured that you do have a gift that is meant to be used to help others.

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms" (1 Peter 4:10).

Holy God, make it clear to me what my special gift is. Show me how I can use this gift to help another person. Amen. 

Self-Pity - Day 250

Self-Pity
Day 250

"A Christian needs to take himself by the scruff of the neck and begin thinking as God thinks and cut out the self-pity," says Elisabeth Elliott.

Self-pity is a dangerous emotion that can slither in and block all your forward progression toward healing.

"That is a dead-end street that you are choosing for yourself," continues Elliot. "If you decide that the whole world needs to feel sorry for you, and you need to be surrounded and hovered over and propped up, that is certainly what you would call self-isolation.

"It doesn't have to be. If you offer yourself to Jesus Christ  as an instrument of peace, He is very likely to make you an instrument of peace to somebody else."

How can you use your hurt to minister to somebody else?

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4).

Lord, I've been self-absorbed, and I want to change. May I see others in a new light today, looking for ways I can meet their needs or share in their concerns. Amen. 

Help Others Stuck in Grief - Day 249

Help Others Stuck in Grief 
Day 249

You may feel so weak and needy that it seems impossible you would have anything to give. But there are people around you who need your help. Don't withhold that word of encouragement, that phone call, that friendly note. There is a place for your ministry too.

"Everyone is wounded," says Rev. Noel Castellanos, "and one of the incredible things about the Christian life is that God can take wounded people and turn them into givers and ministers in spite of the woundedness.

"I think one of the tragedies I've seen is when people focus so much on their own hurt that they can never look outside of themselves to see how they can use their hurt to minister to somebody else."

Think of someone today who could use an encouraging word. Call or send a card to that person.

"He will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work" (2 Timothy 2:21).

Great God, may I think of others first and stop focusing on myself. Amen. 

Do Not Try to Do It Alone - Day 248

Do Not Try to Do It Alone

Day 248

One of the benefits of being a part of a church is that you do not have to move through this process alone. There are friends and companions to go on the journey with you.

Gretchen says, after her husband's death, "When I got in Bible study, that just really opened up my whole life. That is what has really made me a different person. I met new friends there, and one of them is my praying friend. We just call up each other and cry on each other's shoulders and pray for each other and open our hearts to each other. Things like that are really what keep me going."

Get involved with a local Bible study or church group. You do not need to be alone. 

"Every day they [the believers] continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts" (Acts 2:46).

Father, with You I am never alone, but I need the companionship of friends who will carry a portion of my grief as they listen to, laugh with, and cry with me. Amen. 

Seek Help - Day 247

Seek Help
Day 247

"Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days" (Proverbs 19:20 NASB).

What can you do it you are still stuck in grief?

Dr. H. Norman Wright says, "Tell somebody about it. Tell somebody who knows what to do, 'I'm feeling stuck. I don't know where to go.' Because somebody else can give you the resources or direct you to appropriate help."

Seek the advice of a mature Christian friend, a pastor, or a counselor to find resources that will be helpful to you.

Wise Father, lead me to a person who can specifically help me find my way forward along this grief journey. Give me wisdom as to whom I should speak and the strength to follow through. Amen. 

Responses That Cause People to Be Stuck in Grief - Day 246

Responses That Cause People to Be Stuck in Grief
Day 246

Are you struggling with any of the following responses?

• acting as if the loss is not affecting you
• pretending you are still in control 
• giving in to despair as your normal attitude
• allowing bitterness or self-pity to control you
• refusing to let the departed go
• holding on to your anger against God
• not talking about the aspects of your loss
• "medicating" your pain with drugs, alcohol, busyness, etc.

Any of the above responses can cause you to be stuck in grief. Tackle each area one by one. For instance, if you are outwardly acting as if your loss in not affecting you, make a point today to let someone know just how much you are affected deep down. Sharing honestly is one sure step to moving on in grief. 

Alone, it would be impossible to work through the above issues and succeed. With God, all things are possible. This next Bible verse says that God is able to do far more than what you can even imagine!

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" (Ephesians 3:20-21).

Glory to You, Lord. You answer my seemingly impossible prayers. Help me as I face the struggles that are pulling me down. Amen.