Choosing to Forgive
Day 105
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.
"It's not really possible to say, I can't forgive. What you're really saying is, I won't forgive," says Doug Easterday. "You're the only one who can make this choice. Therefore, you have something to say about your own destiny if you choose to forgive."
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught His followers how to pray (Matthew 6:9-13). This needs to be your prayer if you are a follower of Jesus Christ. Choose to pray these words now:
"Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our deptors.
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen." (KJV)
~ AMEN! I choose to forgive. It is a matter of pride I think for us as well. We are stubborn and prideful people and this is our human side. I was taught a slightly different version of the prayer above, but the message is still the same. I often prayed it while still holding on to that unability or really the unwillingness to let go of that resentment and bitterness and forgive those that have wronged me as I have been forgiven for my wrong doings. I am so easy to ask for forgiveness, but don't easily give it and that is my fault. I have noticed this and am a work in progress. I am learning more and more each day and am so thankful for these lessons.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Emotional Safety Valve #2: Forgive - Day 104
Emotional Safety Valve #2: Forgive
Day 104
Forgiveness is getting your heart right with God by making the choice to forgive others and by receiving His forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you are relieving someone of responsibility for his or her actions. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean you trust that person. Forgiveness is the act of letting God's love flow through you.
Think about the above definition for a moment.
Doug Easterday says, "You're not alleviating responsibility from anyone by forgiving them. You are transferring it to where it really belongs and that's with God. They will answer to God someday, but if you're requiring them to answer to you, then you have as big a problem as they do."
Forgiveness is obedience to God.
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sings against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times" (Matthew 18:21-22).
Lord, it is only by Your power that I can forgive. Keep me from destroying myself with unforgiveness. Amen.
~ I am working on this. I have come to realize that holding on to the hurt is only keeping me from loving in the present and having a love in the future. I made a decision that all the hurt and bitterness that I have over the actions of another have got to get out of my heart and head. So, I have decided to give it to God. I know that I can't trust those people anymore, but at the same time, I can't expect that they will ever know what they did wrong or how wrong they were. Besides, there are three sides to every story, what you think happened, what the other person thinks happened and then finally what really happened. Let it go. Give it to God. Look, shake your head, and let it GO!
Day 104
Forgiveness is getting your heart right with God by making the choice to forgive others and by receiving His forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you are relieving someone of responsibility for his or her actions. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean you trust that person. Forgiveness is the act of letting God's love flow through you.
Think about the above definition for a moment.
Doug Easterday says, "You're not alleviating responsibility from anyone by forgiving them. You are transferring it to where it really belongs and that's with God. They will answer to God someday, but if you're requiring them to answer to you, then you have as big a problem as they do."
Forgiveness is obedience to God.
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sings against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times" (Matthew 18:21-22).
Lord, it is only by Your power that I can forgive. Keep me from destroying myself with unforgiveness. Amen.
~ I am working on this. I have come to realize that holding on to the hurt is only keeping me from loving in the present and having a love in the future. I made a decision that all the hurt and bitterness that I have over the actions of another have got to get out of my heart and head. So, I have decided to give it to God. I know that I can't trust those people anymore, but at the same time, I can't expect that they will ever know what they did wrong or how wrong they were. Besides, there are three sides to every story, what you think happened, what the other person thinks happened and then finally what really happened. Let it go. Give it to God. Look, shake your head, and let it GO!
Emotional Safety Valve #1: Lift Your Fears to Jesus - Day 103
Emotional Safety Valve #1: Lift Your Fears to Jesus
Day 103
Overwhelmed by your emotions? On the verge of emotional shutdown? Feeling as if there is no future but despair? Try lifting your fears to Jesus.
"People who don't know Christ have a different perspective on this because they have no option other than despair," says Dr. Jim Conway. "They only have the option of using their own energy or other people around them to try and make this adjustment. They don't have the person of God living in them, giving them the capacity to adjust and the sense that there is a future."
You do have an option. Choose faith in the Lord Christ Jesus. Make it a habit to mentally and verbally give each emotion to Him the moment that emotion arrives. You may want to picture yourself wrapping up that emotion in a package and handing it into His loving, powerful arms to keep. Repeat this exercise as needed, and trust in God to take those burdens each time.
You can take this action because God cares for you. First Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Second Chronicles 15:7 says, "As for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded."
Lord, I am constantly tormented by these thoughts and emotions. I need to give each one to You, one at a time. Take them from me, and I will trust in You for strength and healing. Amen.
~ I was in a place where I thought that because I stopped conversation with the Lord that I wasn't going to be heard or listened to. My God isn't going to give up on me because I got mad at him for a while. He was there with me when I was angry with him for taking my sister and then my mom. I was angry at myself for shutting out the Lord as well. It is a lesson learned and NOW that I am practicing the act of giving it to God, I walk around a much more calm and happy person. I AM BLESSED!
Day 103
Overwhelmed by your emotions? On the verge of emotional shutdown? Feeling as if there is no future but despair? Try lifting your fears to Jesus.
"People who don't know Christ have a different perspective on this because they have no option other than despair," says Dr. Jim Conway. "They only have the option of using their own energy or other people around them to try and make this adjustment. They don't have the person of God living in them, giving them the capacity to adjust and the sense that there is a future."
You do have an option. Choose faith in the Lord Christ Jesus. Make it a habit to mentally and verbally give each emotion to Him the moment that emotion arrives. You may want to picture yourself wrapping up that emotion in a package and handing it into His loving, powerful arms to keep. Repeat this exercise as needed, and trust in God to take those burdens each time.
You can take this action because God cares for you. First Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Second Chronicles 15:7 says, "As for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded."
Lord, I am constantly tormented by these thoughts and emotions. I need to give each one to You, one at a time. Take them from me, and I will trust in You for strength and healing. Amen.
~ I was in a place where I thought that because I stopped conversation with the Lord that I wasn't going to be heard or listened to. My God isn't going to give up on me because I got mad at him for a while. He was there with me when I was angry with him for taking my sister and then my mom. I was angry at myself for shutting out the Lord as well. It is a lesson learned and NOW that I am practicing the act of giving it to God, I walk around a much more calm and happy person. I AM BLESSED!
Physical Symptoms - Day 102
Physical Symptoms
Day 102
Has grief impacted your body as well as your mind?
"Physical problems can run the gamut," says Dr. H. Norman Wright. "There can be stomachaches, headaches, anxiety, rapid pulse, heaviness of heart. It can affect your blood pressure. Sleep disturbances come as insomnia or sleeping ten, twelve, or fourteen hours a day. You lack energy, just plodding through the day, looking at the clock, hoping it's time to go to bed."
How you feel physically can deeply affect how you feel emotionally. So make sure that the basics are covered. Eat healthy food, exercise on a consistent basis, and get plenty of sleep.
Remember, healing is a journey you travel both physically and mentally. Face each difficulty one day at a time, one step at a time, until its completion. Counter each problem with assurance of Scripture. Remain faithful till the end, and you will be victorious over every problem that sets itself up against you during this time.
"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37).
In You, victorious Lord, I am more than a conqueror over these physical problems. Show me how to endure and to win! Amen.
~ I admit that there were times that I would sleep, wake up to feed Justice, then sleep and then wake to feed him again and then sleep. I felt like I couldn't get enough sleep and like I just wanted to sleep. He was already old enough to either play in his room or come lay down with me. I wouldn't get good sleep, as mothers know that they sleep with a listening ear and very lightly. It was imperative that I got out of that funk and decided to get out of bed and out of the apartment because laying in the dark didn't make me feel better or heal me really. It just made me more tired and exhausted mentally and physically. It was good to get up and move around. It was even better when I got my motivation back to work out.
Day 102
Has grief impacted your body as well as your mind?
"Physical problems can run the gamut," says Dr. H. Norman Wright. "There can be stomachaches, headaches, anxiety, rapid pulse, heaviness of heart. It can affect your blood pressure. Sleep disturbances come as insomnia or sleeping ten, twelve, or fourteen hours a day. You lack energy, just plodding through the day, looking at the clock, hoping it's time to go to bed."
How you feel physically can deeply affect how you feel emotionally. So make sure that the basics are covered. Eat healthy food, exercise on a consistent basis, and get plenty of sleep.
Remember, healing is a journey you travel both physically and mentally. Face each difficulty one day at a time, one step at a time, until its completion. Counter each problem with assurance of Scripture. Remain faithful till the end, and you will be victorious over every problem that sets itself up against you during this time.
"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37).
In You, victorious Lord, I am more than a conqueror over these physical problems. Show me how to endure and to win! Amen.
~ I admit that there were times that I would sleep, wake up to feed Justice, then sleep and then wake to feed him again and then sleep. I felt like I couldn't get enough sleep and like I just wanted to sleep. He was already old enough to either play in his room or come lay down with me. I wouldn't get good sleep, as mothers know that they sleep with a listening ear and very lightly. It was imperative that I got out of that funk and decided to get out of bed and out of the apartment because laying in the dark didn't make me feel better or heal me really. It just made me more tired and exhausted mentally and physically. It was good to get up and move around. It was even better when I got my motivation back to work out.
Friday, May 3, 2013
False Guilt: Satan's Lies - Day 101
False Guilt: Satan's Lies
Day 101
"Yes, Satan knows when to come. He lays it on you," explained Dr. E. V. Hill. "I just want you to know it's not of God; it's the devil. God isn't punishing you at all. The devil's doing that."
The guilt and blame you hear echoing in your head is Satan lying to you. Understand and believe this.
Dr. Hill said, "So watch the fact that it's not the voice of the Holy Spirit. It's the visitation of the devil. Rebuke it as such. Stick with your faith in God no matter how it hurts. And God has a great reward for you."
When guilt rears its head, stay focused on the truth and do not be deceived by lies.
"He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44).
Holy Spirit of God, teach me to recognize Your voice and to follow it with assurance. Amen.
Day 101
"Yes, Satan knows when to come. He lays it on you," explained Dr. E. V. Hill. "I just want you to know it's not of God; it's the devil. God isn't punishing you at all. The devil's doing that."
The guilt and blame you hear echoing in your head is Satan lying to you. Understand and believe this.
Dr. Hill said, "So watch the fact that it's not the voice of the Holy Spirit. It's the visitation of the devil. Rebuke it as such. Stick with your faith in God no matter how it hurts. And God has a great reward for you."
When guilt rears its head, stay focused on the truth and do not be deceived by lies.
"He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44).
Holy Spirit of God, teach me to recognize Your voice and to follow it with assurance. Amen.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Doubting God's Goodness - Day 100
Doubting God's Goodness
Day 100
Is God truly good? What does it mean to you personally that God is good?
Dr. Larry Crabb says, "When you see a child suffer, when the doctor says certain things to you, you really wonder if God is good.
"'God, where are You? If You're good, then it seems to me that things should work out like this -,' and I impose my definition of good on God. And I say, 'This is what the word good means: It means that I won't get cancer again. It means my wife won't die prematurely. It means my kids will be healthy and make enough money to pay the bills.'
"When I look at God ad say, 'You're not cooperating with my definition of good, the natural consequence is not trust, not worship. It's idolatry. I'm going to find some other god that agrees with my definition of good. Satan comes along and basically says, 'I'll arrange for what you want.' And you'll have certain pleasures for a season, and then it'll be awful."
It is not God's intention to give us everything we want. Getting what we want is not the key to happiness, peace, or contentment. Since we cannot see the full picture and do not have all the facts, our judgment is skewed. God would not be God if He could not see all things and judge all situations for the ultimate good.
God's word is absolute truth; don't let your doubts get in the way of His perfect plan.
"You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10).
Most Holy God, my limited view is getting in the way of truth. Even when I don't feel it, help me to know without a doubt Your goodness and faithfulness to me. Amen.
~ I know it doesn't always feel this way. I know that I have questioned it myself. The first thing I said in grief class was "I was doing what I was supposed to do as a Catholic. I was going to church. I was praying. I repented. What did I do wrong????"
Day 100
Is God truly good? What does it mean to you personally that God is good?
Dr. Larry Crabb says, "When you see a child suffer, when the doctor says certain things to you, you really wonder if God is good.
"'God, where are You? If You're good, then it seems to me that things should work out like this -,' and I impose my definition of good on God. And I say, 'This is what the word good means: It means that I won't get cancer again. It means my wife won't die prematurely. It means my kids will be healthy and make enough money to pay the bills.'
"When I look at God ad say, 'You're not cooperating with my definition of good, the natural consequence is not trust, not worship. It's idolatry. I'm going to find some other god that agrees with my definition of good. Satan comes along and basically says, 'I'll arrange for what you want.' And you'll have certain pleasures for a season, and then it'll be awful."
It is not God's intention to give us everything we want. Getting what we want is not the key to happiness, peace, or contentment. Since we cannot see the full picture and do not have all the facts, our judgment is skewed. God would not be God if He could not see all things and judge all situations for the ultimate good.
God's word is absolute truth; don't let your doubts get in the way of His perfect plan.
"You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10).
Most Holy God, my limited view is getting in the way of truth. Even when I don't feel it, help me to know without a doubt Your goodness and faithfulness to me. Amen.
~ I know it doesn't always feel this way. I know that I have questioned it myself. The first thing I said in grief class was "I was doing what I was supposed to do as a Catholic. I was going to church. I was praying. I repented. What did I do wrong????"
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Express Your Emotions Freely - Day 99
Express Your Emotions Freely
Day 99
The grieving customs in ancient Israel involved a great deal of free expression, especially compared to today's culture.
After King Saul, his son, and Israel's army were defeated, "David and all the men with him took hold of their clothes and tore them. They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the arm of the LORD and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword" (2 Samuel 1:11-12).
First of all, David and all the men mourned their losses together as a group. "Group grieving" is an effective tool for the journey, but in today's culture it is something that you must seek out, usually in the form of a support group.
The second action of David and his men was to take hold of their clothes and tear them. They released their energy in a way that was physical, yet not harmful.
Lastly, and still as a group, they "mourned and wept and fasted till evening." In their culture they were free to openly express and share their grieving emotions, and they were expected to do so.
Think of the forms of mourning that you are engaged in. How does it compare to the mourning of David and his men? You can learn from the past and be a part of an improved future.
Glorious Lord, I want to express my emotions freely, actively, and without embarrassment. Amen.
~ AMEN! I often feel like I am being a big baby when I freely express my emotions. There are times when I am ambushed and the tears just flow. I can't help it. It means that I still have hurt that I need to work through. It isn't a sign of weakness, it just means that I so loved my sister and my mom that it still hurts like it was yesterday that they died. I get teary-eyed just writing this now. I miss them so very much. I miss their voices and my mom's touch. I miss hearing my sister's laugh and my mom's cray sayings.
Day 99
The grieving customs in ancient Israel involved a great deal of free expression, especially compared to today's culture.
After King Saul, his son, and Israel's army were defeated, "David and all the men with him took hold of their clothes and tore them. They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the arm of the LORD and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword" (2 Samuel 1:11-12).
First of all, David and all the men mourned their losses together as a group. "Group grieving" is an effective tool for the journey, but in today's culture it is something that you must seek out, usually in the form of a support group.
The second action of David and his men was to take hold of their clothes and tear them. They released their energy in a way that was physical, yet not harmful.
Lastly, and still as a group, they "mourned and wept and fasted till evening." In their culture they were free to openly express and share their grieving emotions, and they were expected to do so.
Think of the forms of mourning that you are engaged in. How does it compare to the mourning of David and his men? You can learn from the past and be a part of an improved future.
Glorious Lord, I want to express my emotions freely, actively, and without embarrassment. Amen.
~ AMEN! I often feel like I am being a big baby when I freely express my emotions. There are times when I am ambushed and the tears just flow. I can't help it. It means that I still have hurt that I need to work through. It isn't a sign of weakness, it just means that I so loved my sister and my mom that it still hurts like it was yesterday that they died. I get teary-eyed just writing this now. I miss them so very much. I miss their voices and my mom's touch. I miss hearing my sister's laugh and my mom's cray sayings.
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