Spiritual Doubts
Day 191
The death of a loved one can leave you feeling spiritually off balance.
Question God, but allow Him to work mightily in you.
Shelly's teenage son appeared to be doing well when, unexpectedly, he committed suicide. She says, "I did go through one period where I was so upset that I probably had my faith shaken to the deepest that it has ever been shaken. I said, 'Lord, it is not supposed to happen like this.' We prayed for the prodigal return. We prayed for the change around. We prayed, and it was happening. And everything was going the way it should have. Hope was restored in our hearts, and then to have this happen.
"I can remember being upset to the point of saying, 'Well, Lord, have we been believing all this in vain? Are You there, or is this just another myth like so many in our history have tried to create because they couldn't understand why things happened the way they did?' When I look over that period of questioning, I think that is probably what has caused me to grow and be so much greater a Christian."
Your greatest spiritual growth comes through your questions and trials. You may not like a situation, but often you must accept it and seek growth, not stagnation.
Is God a myth? You will find the answer to this question in an unequivocal no. Allow Him to show you His glorious power and might.
"God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast" (1 Peter 5:10).
Almighty God of the universe, forgive me when I limit You, doubt You, and expect You to fail me. I am so small compared to You, yet You love me more than I can comprehend. Amen.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
What to Do With the Whys? - Day 190
What to Do With the Whys?
Day 190
"What do you do with the whys?" asks Kay Arthur after her husband committed suicide. She answers, "You have to lay them at the feet of Omniscience and, by faith, leave them there and say, 'If You want to show me why, God, fine. If not, I'm going to cling to who You are and what You promise.' When you're asking why, and you're in the dark, and you don't have any reasons, you are to cling to Him in hope. He is the God of all hope. The thing that you have to realize is you are here for a much larger purpose than you realize."
Hope in God, knowing that your questions may not be answered. Each day make a point to look beyond your situation to the all-knowing God of truth, who will not leave you nor fail you. Learn about His attributes and cling to them in hope. The path of life that you travel is different from what you expected, but He will guide you.
"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them" (Isaiah 42:16).
Lord, I am truly in the dark, and it scares me. In my fear, I lash out wildly. Shine Your light in my heart. Lead me along this new path. Amen.
Day 190
"What do you do with the whys?" asks Kay Arthur after her husband committed suicide. She answers, "You have to lay them at the feet of Omniscience and, by faith, leave them there and say, 'If You want to show me why, God, fine. If not, I'm going to cling to who You are and what You promise.' When you're asking why, and you're in the dark, and you don't have any reasons, you are to cling to Him in hope. He is the God of all hope. The thing that you have to realize is you are here for a much larger purpose than you realize."
Hope in God, knowing that your questions may not be answered. Each day make a point to look beyond your situation to the all-knowing God of truth, who will not leave you nor fail you. Learn about His attributes and cling to them in hope. The path of life that you travel is different from what you expected, but He will guide you.
"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them" (Isaiah 42:16).
Lord, I am truly in the dark, and it scares me. In my fear, I lash out wildly. Shine Your light in my heart. Lead me along this new path. Amen.
Questions Are Natural - Day 189
Questions Are Natural
Day 189
It is natural to have questions when unwanted and unexpected loss comes into your life. The more traumatic the loss, the greater the questions.
Dr. Tim Clinton says, "Not long ago when I lost my mother, I struggled with the question why. Why so early? Why so quickly? When you ask why, you are in essence validating your own humanness and realizing you are not in control."
Express your questions freely, but realize that you cannot control your life or anyone else's. The sovereign God is higher than all, and His ways are beyond comprehension.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8).
Sovereign God, I have so many whys. I could go on and on, but nothing will change no matter how many times I ask. I do not understand this. I do not understand You. But I realize that I am not meant to. You, O Lord, are high above all, and I must give my questions to You once and for all. Amen.
Day 189
It is natural to have questions when unwanted and unexpected loss comes into your life. The more traumatic the loss, the greater the questions.
Dr. Tim Clinton says, "Not long ago when I lost my mother, I struggled with the question why. Why so early? Why so quickly? When you ask why, you are in essence validating your own humanness and realizing you are not in control."
Express your questions freely, but realize that you cannot control your life or anyone else's. The sovereign God is higher than all, and His ways are beyond comprehension.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8).
Sovereign God, I have so many whys. I could go on and on, but nothing will change no matter how many times I ask. I do not understand this. I do not understand You. But I realize that I am not meant to. You, O Lord, are high above all, and I must give my questions to You once and for all. Amen.
The Why of Death - Day 188
The Why of Death
Day 188
Right now you might not be feeling very close to God. You might be thinking, Where is God? Does God really care? How could He let this happen? What does my future hold?
Dr. Robert Jeffress shares the response of a man who lost three of his seven children through horrible deaths to leukemia: "When somebody asks him, 'How could you keep believing in a God who would allow you and your children to experience such a tragedy?', this is what he says, 'In those kinds of experiences you have two choices: You can either give up or you can keep believing in God even when it doesn't make sense. Faith means something when it's exercised in the darkness.'"
Dr. Jeffress adds his own insight: "I believe that faith means something when you don't understand the whys. I don't think God ever condemns you for asking why. But in the ultimate analysis, the question is not why but it is Who? God calls on you to believe in Him who said, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me. I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live again' (John 14:6, 11:25). Ultimately you must trust in that."
Lord God, I have so many questions and doubts and feelings of guilt and blame. Where do I go from here? Lead me in Your way, truth, and life. Amen.
Day 188
Right now you might not be feeling very close to God. You might be thinking, Where is God? Does God really care? How could He let this happen? What does my future hold?
Dr. Robert Jeffress shares the response of a man who lost three of his seven children through horrible deaths to leukemia: "When somebody asks him, 'How could you keep believing in a God who would allow you and your children to experience such a tragedy?', this is what he says, 'In those kinds of experiences you have two choices: You can either give up or you can keep believing in God even when it doesn't make sense. Faith means something when it's exercised in the darkness.'"
Dr. Jeffress adds his own insight: "I believe that faith means something when you don't understand the whys. I don't think God ever condemns you for asking why. But in the ultimate analysis, the question is not why but it is Who? God calls on you to believe in Him who said, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me. I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live again' (John 14:6, 11:25). Ultimately you must trust in that."
Lord God, I have so many questions and doubts and feelings of guilt and blame. Where do I go from here? Lead me in Your way, truth, and life. Amen.
Helping Children Grieve - Day 187
Helping Children Grieve
Day 187
Children can accept loss if there is something to hope for, something to look forward to. But if they view their lives as one loss after another, recovery is extremely difficult.
Here are some general guidelines in helping your children grieve:
Day 187
Children can accept loss if there is something to hope for, something to look forward to. But if they view their lives as one loss after another, recovery is extremely difficult.
Here are some general guidelines in helping your children grieve:
- Understand that children have feelings even if they do not show them. A child's initial response, like adults, is denial.
- Tell your children about the feelings you are struggling with.
- Tell them they are not responsible for the loss.
- Help them understand what has happened. Share just enough details to satisfy their questions, avoiding anything that would traumatize them.
- Be there for them. They need more than words. Your presence can help them grieve the loss.
- Help them remember the good times and encourage them to share their emotions.
- Empathize with their hurt without condoning any wrong behavior.
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" (Isaiah 49:15).
Lord, You love my children even more than I do. Give me the wisdom to care for them and nurture them through my grief. Amen.
Don't Hide Your Emotions - Day 186
Don't Hide Your Emotions
Day 186
Do not try to hide your feelings from your children. You will not be successful!
Think back over the past few days and identify times when you held back your true emotions and "put on a happy face" for the sake of your children. Your children are experiencing different degrees of the same feelings you are. If you cover up your emotions, your children will follow your example.
One suggestion to help your family communicate their emotions to each other is with a "Feelings Chart." Write on the chart "Today I feel .." and attach a piece of Velcro in the space after "feel." (You may want to have a space for each family member.) Then, draw faces or write down emotions on several circles of heavy paper and attach Velcro on the backs. Include as many different emotions as you can think of. Remember that younger children may need simpler words and pictures, but older children and adults will need a wide range of words to help them better identify and express their emotions.
Here are some ideas, which can be adapted to meet your needs: sad, lonely, angry, confused, guilty, bitter, rejected, helpless, afraid, worried, disappointed, resentful, jealous, inadequate, vindictive, depressed, lost abandoned, betrayed, sorrowful, better, so-so, relieved, okay, not bad, hopeful, peaceful, reassured, thankful, secure, insecure, unloved, loved, encouraged, joyful.
Each day find the emotion that best describes how you feel at any given time and place that word on the chart. Have your other family members do this as well.
God promises to be with you through all of your emotional turmoil. He also promises to comfort, heal, and strengthen you. God's Word is full of promises to you.
"There hath not failed one word of all his good promise" (1 Kings 8:56 KJV).
Thank you, Father, that You will never fail me. Help me to see the big picture beyond my tangled emotions. Amen.
Day 186
Do not try to hide your feelings from your children. You will not be successful!
Think back over the past few days and identify times when you held back your true emotions and "put on a happy face" for the sake of your children. Your children are experiencing different degrees of the same feelings you are. If you cover up your emotions, your children will follow your example.
One suggestion to help your family communicate their emotions to each other is with a "Feelings Chart." Write on the chart "Today I feel .." and attach a piece of Velcro in the space after "feel." (You may want to have a space for each family member.) Then, draw faces or write down emotions on several circles of heavy paper and attach Velcro on the backs. Include as many different emotions as you can think of. Remember that younger children may need simpler words and pictures, but older children and adults will need a wide range of words to help them better identify and express their emotions.
Here are some ideas, which can be adapted to meet your needs: sad, lonely, angry, confused, guilty, bitter, rejected, helpless, afraid, worried, disappointed, resentful, jealous, inadequate, vindictive, depressed, lost abandoned, betrayed, sorrowful, better, so-so, relieved, okay, not bad, hopeful, peaceful, reassured, thankful, secure, insecure, unloved, loved, encouraged, joyful.
Each day find the emotion that best describes how you feel at any given time and place that word on the chart. Have your other family members do this as well.
God promises to be with you through all of your emotional turmoil. He also promises to comfort, heal, and strengthen you. God's Word is full of promises to you.
"There hath not failed one word of all his good promise" (1 Kings 8:56 KJV).
Thank you, Father, that You will never fail me. Help me to see the big picture beyond my tangled emotions. Amen.
Your Child May Need Further Help - Day 185
Your Child May Need Further Help
Day 185
When children grieve, they do not have the same capacity to understand death that adults have. Be aware of any changes in your child's mood or any odd behaviors that may indicate confusion or a misunderstanding of death. Get your child to talk to you, and explore his or her fears and questions together.
Heidi shares, "About a month after my husband died, my son was very angry. My mother had come to stay with us for a while and had been there for about a month. I think his thinking was that if she'll leave, my daddy will come back. He became very angry toward her and wanted her to leave. It was at that point that I realized there was anger building up, and I didn't know how to deal with it because I was going through my own emotions. I did seek counsel for my son; we put him in counseling, and it was the most wonderful thing for him because he was able to talk out his feelings."
You may need to seek counseling for your child to help him or her open up further. Pray about this possibility, and always take time to talk to your child and teach your child about the true healing that only comes through Jesus Christ.
"God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes" (Revelations 7:17 KJV).
Savior God, healing is found in You alone. Bond my family together in the unity of Your healing love as we travel this journey of grief together. Amen.
Day 185
When children grieve, they do not have the same capacity to understand death that adults have. Be aware of any changes in your child's mood or any odd behaviors that may indicate confusion or a misunderstanding of death. Get your child to talk to you, and explore his or her fears and questions together.
Heidi shares, "About a month after my husband died, my son was very angry. My mother had come to stay with us for a while and had been there for about a month. I think his thinking was that if she'll leave, my daddy will come back. He became very angry toward her and wanted her to leave. It was at that point that I realized there was anger building up, and I didn't know how to deal with it because I was going through my own emotions. I did seek counsel for my son; we put him in counseling, and it was the most wonderful thing for him because he was able to talk out his feelings."
You may need to seek counseling for your child to help him or her open up further. Pray about this possibility, and always take time to talk to your child and teach your child about the true healing that only comes through Jesus Christ.
"God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes" (Revelations 7:17 KJV).
Savior God, healing is found in You alone. Bond my family together in the unity of Your healing love as we travel this journey of grief together. Amen.
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